Haikyuu One Shots!

Iwaizumi H. || Insecure

dedicated to sunniethebakubean , one of the kindest, warmest and softest people i've ever met (virtually).
happy birthday queen!

(i may or may not be using your birthday as an excuse to write more iwa content)

also, this is a self-conscious/insecure reader story. please love yourself, you are more beautiful than you let yourself believe.

"try to quiet the noises in your head, we can't compete with all that" - Only Us, Dear Evan Hansen.

word count: 1256

It was one of your favorite dresses – the one with a plaid design and a soft yellow background, fitting your frame perfectly while making you look radiant. It complimented your skin, and the color scheme made you look softer than usual. Yes, this was the dress you wanted to wear out to celebrate your birthday with your boyfriend, Iwaizumi.

Your friends had assured you with uplifting messages – 'fuck you look so hot!' and 'Iwaizumi is one lucky man', and when you snapped those photos of yourselves, you convinced yourself you looked good too.

But as you looked into the mirror one last time, minutes before wanting to head out of your house, you found yourself frowning.

Was it your thighs? Or maybe your arms? Or maybe you didn't like the way your hair framed your face.

Whatever it was, your eyes started to build a disoriented proportion of reality – one that made you look hideous, convincing that you didn't look good in that dress; that you were the furthest thing from beautiful and Iwaizumi was not lucky to have you at all.

You were lucky he hadn't left you yet.

And this is how it usually starts. The doubts came flooding through your brain in a split second, because even though you looked completely fine (and everyone else could testify that you were stunning), your mind refused to believe it.

All you could think about were the words that fed your insecurities. All the people out there who looked far better than you – who had sharper jaws, longer legs, a symmetrical face, perfect features. The people you could never compare to.

There was no fighting the tears that fell on your face.

"Babe? Are you ready?" the voice of your boyfriend echoed into your room.

But you couldn't respond. How could you when your eyes were swollen, your words lodged in the back of your throat as you forced in a breath with every pant, your chest heaving, desperate for air?

"Fuck, babe, what's wrong?" Iwaizumi rushed immediately to your side, sitting on the edge of the bed, still whimpering out soft cries.

"I – just," you tried, at least to form a sentence, but what were you supposed to say? It was already frightening enough the insecurities were floating around in your head, but to say them aloud – that would be too much for you to handle.

"Hey, hey." Iwaizumi spoke, using one hand to hold yours and another to stroke your jaw, pushing up your face so he could watch your eyes. "It's those noises in your head again, huh?"

You turned away slowly, shrugging a little, but a small nod gave the confirmation he needed.

"Listen to me," Iwaizumi stressed, "You are my beautiful, adorable, sexy girlfriend and I could not have been happier to call you mine."