ZINDAGI KYA KEHTI HAI

Chap 5

The session started in the car itself. After a few breathing exercises, Swarapp asked Sanskar about the list of positive things he made up.

"Hmm! So only this much in this list." Swara saw only 5 points in the list. Those were only about laksh, sujata, rp, ragini and his fans.

"Because these are the only positive things that had happened to me." Sanskar replied.

At that very point, swara got to know how deep the roots of negativity have been spreaded in his life. More than a psychiatrist, he needed a personal coach. He needed someone who can make him see the positive side of life. There was a big void in his heart which needed to be filled by positivity.

"So, aren't you greatful that you are alive? Aren't you greatful for the life you have even after meeting these children?" Swara asked.

"I am greatful that they smiled because of me. But had it not been me, anyone else would have been at my place. It's not a big deal." Sanskar's reply made swara more shocked.

"You don't love yourself?" Swara asked in a flow.

"What's so special about me to love myself? Since I was born, I became the cause of miseries of my family." Sanskar's voice became heavy again.

Swara understood that unhealed childhood traumas were being reflected on his present. The root cause of his this state is his childhood.

"So Mr. Maheshwari. Let's talk about your childhood." Swara asked calmly but stunned to see sanskar getting irritated by the word childhood.

"I don't want.... i can't... please... not childhood." Swara felt sanskar getting restless about hearing the word childhood.

"Ok... ok calm down. We won't do that now ok. May be you are not prepared right.

Sanskar took a deep breathe and tried to relax himself. But when he was coming back to his relaxed state, swara went into thoughts. She was anxious about Sanskar now. She knew as a doctor, she should not be emotionally attached to her patient. But he was very different. There was a strange aura of him which made his personality so attractive. It was not about his handsomeness but something which was inside his heart, or as Swara does say, his golden heart.

"Dr. Bose?" Swara's trance was broken by Sanskar's voice. She looked at him and smiled.

"I am sorry. I think I have hurt you!" A strange sadness was visible in his eyes.

"Why are you being sorry for speaking your heart out?" Swara asked him.

"So should I be not sorry for hurting others?" Sanskar said innocently.

"Mr. Maheshwari, sorry is a golden word. You should say sorry when it is really required. Did I say you hurt me? Did i cry? Did i do any thing which made you think you have hurt me?" Swara was getting impatient now.

"Because you became silent. I thought you are angry. I don't want anyone to be angry or sad because of me." Sanskar replied innocently.

Swara closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. For the first time she was meeting a kind hearted person like him. He had that childlike innocence in his heart.

"Mr. Maheshwari, listen! This is my habbit of silencing myself when I am not able to think what to do next. I do counsel others, but there is noone to counsel me. So i have to do that work for me also. That's why I silence myself sometimes." Swara replied in her usual calm tone.

"Oh... so you were not able to think what to do next right?" Sanskar kept a finger on his chin. He was looking like a 5 year old kid which made Swara laugh a little.