Break up w/ Matt part 2

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by explicitespinosaaa

by explicitespinosaaa

I watched the love of my life break in my grasp and I still can't process the fact that a week ago I lost everything. Since y/n left I have not got out of bed. I am on my phone on all my social media waiting for y/n to unblock me on everthing and i know she told me not to call text or think about her but its hard not to and im going to be honest that day the guys told me not to "she is our fan" they said "what about y/n i thought you loved her" they said and i didnt listen what i did was wrong she was a fan but it was in the moment it just happened so fast I could have stopped it in fact in my head i replayed those things the guys said to me over and over again in the back of my head i kept saying to myself "stop dont do it dont you love y/n" but no matter what I said it didnt work its like the girl was a dark thing that latched itself onto me and wouldnt let go till it got what it wanted. Y/N was not playing when she said she was sending me everthing i ever got her or won for her after that day when i got home as soon as I got home and everyone greeted me as i was walking up to my room i got this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and i just knew that something was wrong when i got in my room there were two boxes i opened them and inside was every picture every piece of clothing and jewlery i ot her and every stuffed animal i got her with a letter it said

"Dear Matthew

Im sorry that you had to do what you did i know that Im not perfect but when you said i was i felt like I was on a cloud hearing the words come out of your mouth was like magic when ever you said it my body felt...magical,flawless,unbreakable. That's how you made me feel just being around you. I remeber our first fight i felt so guilty yes it was about the dishes but i felt guilty because i always thought that you knew everything that you were always right i know that you felt bad but now that we are broken up i look at everything and i carried guilt this whole relationship period and you may not know that but i did and im sorry i never expressed my feelings and i always left you...wanting answers cuz i never gave them to you which also i was guilty for but Matt i thought you loved me for ME not cuz of some person that I looked like on the outside behind all the make-up and i have got all your text and calls and im sorry for blocking you but I couldn't take it i had to for a while all i did was sit in bed and cry I never thought that you would hurt me the way you did but i guess I have done worse to you but the thought of seeing every vine,tweet,or picture you post was hard it made me feel worse im getting better im not crying so much actually packing those boxes and writing this letter are the most active things ive done since you know that day. Matt i put you on this high horse if you know what i mean i thought so highly of you but anyway I love you Matt thanks for everything

--Love Y/N

I decided to write her back and i felt bad and what i did made it worse i made her feel worse i never ment to hurt her this bad.

I read Matt's letter and me and matt are talking again i just hope that things will not be so akward i mean at first i know it will but hopefully we can get past that i dont know if anything will ever be the same but the could be similar and maybe we could give us a chance again