TL TD

Heart race

It was my last period and I wasn't having any classes so I went to my spot under the bleachers.

I have doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Few seconds of sleep would do me good since I haven't gotten any recently.

"What was that about?"

Why is it that whenever I come to rest she always appears.

I sighed as she sat next to me

"What was what about?" I asked indifferently

"You know what I'm talking about Ava"
I simply shrugged

She sighed

"Well at least you know now"

"Know what" I asked unsure of what she was talking about

She looked indecisive but gave in

"Ava i have feelings for you"

"I really do and it's making me go crazy" she breath out

I sat up. I saw this coming
"No"

She nodded

"Why no"

"Cause I said no" I wanted be cold, but I'm failing at it

She frowned slightly

"I get it, you don't feel the same way" she said sounding disappointed.

I don't know what I feel for her. It's new, it's free and I want to embrace it. But I don't want to be selfish.

I'm dying and it can happen anytime and she doesn't know that. She thinks I'm healthy, who would want to be with someone that is dying.

I stood up to leave the field but he she followed me out, stopping me by holding my hand

"don't walk away from me" she said looking at the ground in plea

"Al i need to go, let go" her soft grip never let go

She stood there, hands still on mine, never dropping her gaze from mine

"I can't do that. I'll never let you go" she spoke sternly

My heart started to beat fast again, but this time it was getting painful

"You don't mean that" I managed to say

"I do Ava" she moved closer to me "I really do"

"I can't deny it any longer. I can't pretend not to have these feelings" she continued

"Yes I know I was confused a bit, after what happened with Carson, but Ava it's real" she said, not taking her eyes off me.

He gaze was so intense, I almost gave in.

"I can't" I breath out

The pain in my chest was becoming unbearable

I took her hands off mine

"You can't like a dying girl Al" She need to know this for her own good

She chuckled but it held no humor

"You don't have to kill yourself with your mouth Ava. Just say you don't like me back" she sounded bitter

I couldn't take the pain any longer, I decided to walk away but she stopped me again, grabbing my hand gently.

"Do you hate me that much?" she asked scanning my eyes, looking desperate

This was getting too much for me

"I'm crazy about you. I know you can see it"
She said, her hands now on my shoulders. Why can't she get it?

"I'm dying" I said, but it came out as a whisper. It stings now

"What?"

I met her eyes. Those green orbs

"I'm dying Al" I repeated

I didn't understand the feeling in her eyes but I know I couldn't do this. I felt so weak

She released me instantly, dropping her hands from mine.

She didn't say anything

I nodded slowly. Just as I thought.

I proceeded to walk away

But she dragged me back pulling me into her. This caught me off guard

"Aliyah what are you doing" I said still in shock

"I don't care" she said, holding me tightly

"I don't care" she repeated

"Can you feel that" she said, pressing her body tightly to mine.

Her heart was racing, just like mine

"That's how fast my heart beat for u" she said still holding me tightly.