Family

Chapter thirteen: Regret

Shu spent that night in his old apartment. He didn't want to face Lui's wrath.

He also wanted to think about what Lui had said.

He had really almost killed himself?

The thought if it itself almost brought Shu to tears.

He didn't know whether Lui was lying or not.

Lui was a great liar. He could get away with almost anything.

But he had seemed sincere.

All this raged in Shu's mind, giving him a throbbing headache.

He sat down and put his head in his hands.

Ho took out Spryzen. What do I do, partner?

There was no reply.

Shu almost cried.

But he didn't. He had taught himself to be tough, to form a shell around his heart, to never let any tears out.

So he simply sat there, thinking about what had happened.

All his furniture was still at Lui's place, so that night, Shu slept in a simple sleeping bag.

More like lay in a sleeping bag.

The hours went by, and Shu didn't even sleep a wink.

Whenever he closed his eyes, images of Lui pulling down his sleeve to reveal the mess of scars flooded his mind, and he sat up, gasping.

It sucked.

Shu kept trying to remind himself that Lui was his enemy. He hated him. He scarred his eye.

But he's also your brother, a tiny voice said in the back of his head. And he was right, you know. You are selfish. You only care about yourself.

And Shu knew that. He knew that he had forced everyone to pay attention to him, and him alone, during his time as Red Eye. He knew that he just wallowed in his own self-pity, using the scar as an excuse. He knew that he wasn't strong. He was the weakest of them all. Unlike Lui. Lui trained and trained despite his depressing childhood, and always strived to be the best. He was quite possibly the best big brother one could ever have. He challenged Shu, yet cared deeply about him.

And what had Shu done?

Screwed everything up.

I ruin everything, he thought. For once in my life, I was happy. I had a good job, great friends, and big brother...who I loved. But of course I went and messed it up. What's the point? I've never done any good. I'm just a selfish brat, and I'm going to keep screwing things up for the rest of my life. There's no point in even living.

Then Valt's voice rang in his head.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," he used to always say.

Shu stopped. He closed his eyes, and a lone tear trickled down his cheek.

You're Shu Kurenai, he told himself. Be the calm blader you say you are.

He took a deep breath.

Then his analytical mind went to work.

I have two options, he thought. Either I try to apologise to Lui, who'll probably never forgive me, or I just end it here. No one will care, anyway.

Then he remembered.

Akuma. He's the reason we even fought in the first place.

If I beat him...

maybe I'll get Lui's trust back.

So he made a plan. A pretty simple one. He would battle Akuma, beat him, then apologize to Lui.

Easier said than done.

So Shu got to work.