Blue eyes [Teen wolf/Derek Hale]

Ch121 - Blue eyes

"You what?" Derek said as I tried to catch my breath.

"I killed people for a living." I repeated slowly and with my head down. I stared at my right arm and left hand as I sat on my knees. Both of them were covered in my own blood but it hadn't helped; I'd still lost resistance.

"That's not the part I'm interested in." Peter said with an annoyed tone "I'm interested what you've learned. And how."

"They taught me how to kill... how to track... how to fight. What else do you need?" I said as I punched the floor in disappointment in myself. I couldn't even keep my mouth shut after such a short time? I'm weak. I should be punished.

I could hear the air around Peter's head as he shook it.

"Fine. They train in agility, speed, focus, concentration, strength, all of your senses." I sighed in frustration as I punched the floor again. "Parkour, evasion, detection, weaponry, poisons," I punched the floor again with a bit more power behind it. My hand began to throb but I didn't care.  "durability, discretion, trust and loyalty."

"How?" Peter asked curtly but interested.

"By showing it once." I replied as I punched to floor for the third time.

"What if you fucked up?" Derek asked with a cold voice from behind Peter. I couldn't help but to glance up at the sound of his voice but I wish I hadn't. He was looking at me with the exact look I thought he would have; disappointment.

"They torture you until they think you've learned it." I replied coldly while looking in his eyes with a secret wish for him to change his expression into something a bit more caring. My heart ached when he simply closed his eyes and crossed his arms.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked down again. I knew he'd be mad or disappointed. Derek is a good guy. Good guys don't like people who commit murder.

I'm stupid. I punched the floor again full force until I heard something snap and electricity shoot up my arm.

Fuuuuck. That hurts. I lifted my hand and inspected it for a second. You could easily see the fracture since it was one of the long thin bones in my hand. I shifted the two pieces back together and waited for it to heal.

Well at least the werewolf power has kept my doctor's bill low.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked Peter. "Kill her? Trap her? Get information out of her?"

"Nothing for now." Peter said deep in thoughts. "I'm gonna do some thinking, Don't interrupt me." and with that he walked up the stairs.

The room felt cold and yet hot at the same time. The awkward silent distance made it cold while the thick tension made it hot. I could hear Derek's heartbeat and breaths coming from the same spot he'd been standing in when he heard me shout it.

And I just had to shout it. God I'm stupid! I should've kept my mouth shut.

"I'm gonna go for a walk." I mumbled and pushed myself to my feet.

Derek hadn't moved yet and was staring at the ground with one hand in his side and one hand over his mouth, hiding most of his expression. He didn't look up at me when I'd said it nor when I walked past him.

I grabbed two things from my bag; my new jacket and my old scarf.

My new jacket was great. It was black, subtle and not very noticeable, and made from wool which meant that it didn't made any sound when I walked. But the best of all, it was comfy and warm.

I wrapped the thin scarf once around my neck and took a deep breath. That was fucking pathetic Liz. You're fucking pathetic. I should be happy that I escaped because I wouldn't get it easy after such a pathetic performance. Outside Derek's bedroom I heard someone shuffle. I closed my eyes to focus better and realized that it was Derek.

Oh no. He doesn't want to talk about it, does he?

"Liz..." Derek said hesitantly and walked in.

Shit. Run! Just make a run for it. Come up with something and go! Save yourself!

"I'm gonna go for a walk." I said again and walked towards the door but Derek wouldn't let me. He stepped back into the doorway and crossed his arms.

"Liz." he said again but a bit more warning.

"It's just a walk..."

"It's not the walk that's concerning me."

"Well... it shouldn't concern you in the first place." I mumbled in loss of arguments.

"Of course it concerns me! You've killed someone!"

"So have you. Your eyes are blue too." I shot back.

Derek flinched at my words and crossed his arms. I could see that it had hurt him but at the moment it wasn't feeling like apologizing. He was accusing me of murder? Well apparently he'd done the same. And he knew that there were other things involved than just 'I killed someone'. I had the right to defend myself!

"This isn't about me." He argued. "Why would you kill people?!" Derek calmed down a bit and asked hopefully: "Were they criminals?"

"No."

"So they were innocent?!"

"Sometimes, yes." I could see Derek opening his mouth to give me a lecture so I beat him to it. "Haven't you thought about the fucking fact that I might not have had a choice?!"

Derek didn't immediately respond to that and placed his hand over his mouth in thought, covering most of his expression.

"I'm gonna go for a walk." I mumbled. I brushed past him and left into the cold air of outside.