Things I Almost Remember: A Selection Story

Otherwise Engaged

"And with that, we strike tomorrow at dawn," General Leger said, pointing to a spot that represented the entrance to the palace on a diagram he had drawn for the rest of the group. "We have associates coming from all over. Jansen and Connor will lead all assembled into battle, and Kota and Johnny will lead up the rear. I will stay here and guard Kate and Ahren, we need them to be alive at the end of this to be leaders for their people. Lucy, Eva, and Holly, you will be in charge of healing and serving to anyone who manages to escape during the battle."

"General Leger, I am not going to just stand back while they all risk their lives for Illéa," Kate said, crossing her arms over her chest. "This is a fight for my people. I am either taking this up completely or not at all. What kind of ruler would I be if I just stand here and let other people fight my battles?"

"Kate, you are a walking target. You will be the one Marid wants, and he will not hesitate for one second to spare you. You are only endangering the rest of us more by coming," General Leger said sternly.

"Kate, he is right. It was the same with your mother and your grandfather, it is the same as your Aunt Camille in France, you just allow others to take up their place to fight for the pride of your country. Your job is to lead. Don't view yourself as just standing back, you are getting ready to enter into the greatest challenge of your life, queenship. If this ends, you will be the monarch of Illéa, and you will have to make choices that impact the lives of your people every day," Ahren said, putting his arms on Kate's shoulders. "Your wish to be a part is noble, but you must remember your place as the future Queen of Illéa. There is no other heir, and the country would be thrown into chaos or land back into Marid's hands."

"I just can't let you all do this for me," Kate said, tears welling in her eyes.

"It is for Illéa that we do it, Your Highness, not for you alone, if I may remind you," Jansen said.

"Please don't call me that, Jansen," Kate whispered. "I'm just.."

"Kate, I know. You must remember though, Kate, that you will not be 'just Kate' anymore very soon. You will be 'Her Majesty, Queen Kerttu Lena America Koskinen of IIléa,' and if you plan to take on this role, you cannot keep falling back into who you are now. You were destined to become something much greater, and being 'just Kate' will be something you must learn to let go of," Jansen said firmly. 

No one spoke after that. Kate stiffened at his words. Did he not understand that being Kate was all she could hang onto for so many years? Did he not understand that she needed time to get used to this destiny that had been thrown at her? No one there, not even Johnny, knew what it was like to forget the person you were and then suddenly be slammed with the whole meaning of that reality.

People started moving toward bed and getting ready for the coming day, but Kate sat on a log looking into the slowly dimming fire that they had set up hours before.

"This is it," she told herself. "You can do this, for your family, for this country, for everyone. Illéa needs to be saved, this is bigger than me, bigger than all of us, this is..." her musings were suddenly cut off by the sound of her name. Well, her name she was apparently supposed to forget.

"Kate?" 

She turned and was happy to see that it was Johnny standing there. He looked exhausted and his dark brown hair was a mess, but Kate thought in that moment  how truly handsome he was. He was smiling at her, making her insides go weak in only a way he was able to. All the stories he had told her about from when they were children confused her because, in them, he always talked as though he was the awkward and nervous one while she was confident and sure of herself. Now, to Kate at least, it seemed like quite the opposite.

"Hi Johnny," she said, stifling a nervous laugh as he walked toward her.

"Can I speak to you? Kind of in private?" he asked, now sounding a bit nervous himself. 

"Sure," Kate said, allowing him to lead her away from the main campsite off into the woods from their clearing.

"I'm really nervous about you going into the fight tomorrow," she said when they were finally out of earshot from the others.

"I am going to be fine," he said. "But whatever happens to me, you are the one Illéa needs safe," Johnny said, taking her hands in his and rubbing his thumbs gently along her knuckles. 

"I just can't do this without you, I need you with me, I want to protect you too thought, and" Kate was cut off by Johnny with a quick kiss on her mouth.

"Kate, I will always be with you," Johnny whispered, his brown eyes bearing into her dark blue ones. "I love you more than anything."

She breathed in and out slowly, still getting used to the way this man who she cared for so deeply felt these things for her.

"Which is why I actually brought you here. I want to ask you something," Johnny said, his grip tightening a bit around her hands.

"Ask me anything," she said, now quite curious about what he wanted to ask her.

"You told me, well you told me you wanted me with you after all this is over," he said, now sounding a bit nervous himself.

"I did," she said quizzically, now a bit confused about where he was going.

"Well, it got me thinking, and I know someone like me shouldn't be asking this of a future queen," he said giving her a small grin. "But life is short, and I have to take my chances so, Kerttu Lena America Koskinen, my darling Kate, will you marry me?"

Kate's eyes widened. She couldn't find her voice. She could not even feel her own breath. She had to think hard to remember how to breathe.

"Johnny," she said quietly but with a smile breaking over her face, "Of course I will marry you, I was well, I was worried it would be weird if I asked you but...yes, of course I will. There is nothing I want more in the world than to be with you."

Johnny stood up and kissed her hard on the mouth. When they broke apart, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small band.

"This was my mother's," Johnny said, taking her hand to slip it on Kate's finger. "I know it isn't much, but I want you to have it. She gave it to Connor on the day we escaped, and he told me to give it to you."

"You told him?" Kate asked, a bit surprised Connor hadn't yet jumped out from behind a tree if he knew.

"No," Johnny said. "He gave this to me weeks ago, telling me to give it to you when the time is right because he wanted you as a sister so he could officially make fun of you without feeling bad."

Kate laughed as happy tears slid down her face.

"I love it," she said, looking up at him with a smile. "I never thought..."

Suddenly, she was cut off by a rustling in the brush beyond them. Johnny quickly stepped in front of her, his whole body on edge. Then suddenly they heard a heartless-sounding laugh and turned around to see Marid Illéa and two of his guards coming out of the trees.

"Well, well, we meet, at last, Princess Kerttu."