Things I Almost Remember: A Selection Story

A Great Change

Johnny ran as fast as he could back to the apartment. He had to talk to Kate, to Kerttu, to whoever she was. He knew exactly who she was, but at the same time, she was a complete stranger. 

It was beginning to get dark on the streets of Nieve, and after running through the bustling evening crowds in the busy street, Johnny finally arrived at the apartment building. He saw Kate before he saw her. She was sitting on the ground outside the building with her knees tucked into her chest. She was looking off into the distance across the street, but her navy blue eyes looked  like they were viewing some other time or place.

Johnny stood there and stared at Kate for a minute, both wondering if she would notice him and marveling at how absolutely obvious it was she was Kerttu. Even though Johnny had not seen Princess Kerttu America Lena Koskinen for ten years, he would know her anywhere. Kate had the same long chestnut brown waves, the same wide navy blue eyes, the same laugh, the same locket. He had known deep down who she was since he saw her on that first day she had arrived in Nieve. Johnny had just been too scared to admit it both to her and himself.

He finally found the courage to speak to her.

"Kate?" Johnny said, carefully alerting him to her presence.

Kate's head jerked over in his direction suddenly as though she had been jerked awake. She looked at him with a strange expression. It was not an expression of fear or anger. It was an expression of desperation and confusion.

"Johnny," she breathed, trying to gather herself. "I, um, I couldn't get into the apartment because I didn't have a key. I tried throwing a pebble at the window, but I think Connor went out." She looked down at her boots, doing everything she could to avert her eyes from his gaze.

"Kate, we should get you inside..." Johnny began, but she quickly cut him off.

"I remember one night," she began slowly, still averting his gaze and remaining seated on the frosty cobblestone. "I remember one night my mother had to go to New Asia for nearly a week because of a diplomatic crisis. She had been there a few days, and they thought her plane had been shot down. I cried for hours in my room, and no one could console me. You stole a tub of ice cream from down in the kitchens, and you brought it to my room where I commanded my nanny to let you stay to eat with me. You had brought two spoons."

Both Kate and Johnny stood there on the dark icy street, frozen both from air and everything that was suddenly happening.

"I remember the night of the attack. You stuck your tongue out at me and made me laugh. I hadn't genuinely laughed since then, for over ten years, until I met you again a few weeks ago," she whispered. Johnny thought her saw her hiding back the smallest of smiles.

She stared up at the sky and tucked a lock of hair behind her ears.

"I don't want to be her because to be her means so many things. It would mean remembering what happened to my family. It would mean remembering watching my mother and father be shot dead right in front of my eyes. It would mean missing the horror of that night. It would mean still not knowing what happened to me and how I ended up on the side of a road in some random small town. It would probably make me the most wanted person in Illéa. It would mean knowing there are people who want me to be dead," Kate said as tears began to roll down her face. "It was so much easier when, when, I just did not know who I was. I was so safe in my ignorance. I may have been lost, but I at least did not have to feel all this pain and grief for people who were stolen from me.

Johnny slowly knelt down beside Kate and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Kate," he said, unsure completely of how to address her. "The people who loved you and who cared for you are still with you everyday in your heart. They fought for you and gave themselves so that you could live. You are so loved because that is the greatest kind of love there is. Even though, it is really hard to remember, you still will always now know their love. The best parts of them will always be with you"

Kate looked at him and placed her gloved hand on the hand he had on her shoulder.

"If I could, I would go steal you another tub of ice cream for us to share. Ice cream always makes everything feel just a little bit better," Johnny said, daring a small smile.

Kate looked at him and let out the smallest breath of a laugh, and the hardness and confusion in her face finally began to soften.

"I'm really happy we found each other again," Kate whispered. "You're the only person I still have from that life."

"Kate you do realize though that you still have family? You're kind of the niece of the Queen and Prince Consort of France," he said, trying not to let out a laugh due to the seriousness of the situation.

"No, I know, I've thought about that," she said, some hardness returning to her face. "I meant you are the only person I still have who will accept me. Do you really think the Royal Family of France would accept me as their niece? I'm a poor orphan who has been living on the street who is dirty and frail and the furthest thing from the girl I used to be that they remember."

The tears began to fall from her face again.

"You're even more beautiful than you were then," Johnny said without thinking.

Kate turned to him, confusion and puzzlement filling her eyes.

"What?" she asked.

Johnny decided he needed to be firm. He had been given a second chance. He and Kate had survived the attack for a reason, and maybe that reason was for them finally to have the chance to be together.

"You're even more beautiful because of what you have had to endure," he said, now averting his gaze from her eyes. "I know sometimes you would get frustrated when I would talk about how amazing Kerttu was, but I have never really told you how amazing I think Kate is too. It kind of makes sense that you're, well, one-in-the-same."

Kate stared at him, breathing slowly. Johnny tentatively began to lean in toward her. He saw her shut her eyes and lean forward just a bit, and then...

"There you two are!" a voice shouted. Kate and Johnny immediately broke apart as Connor came around the corner.

"I have been looking for you two everywhere!" Connor said, shivering in his old coat. "You guys can't run out on me like that. Let's all get inside before we freeze to death."

Connor pulled his key from his pocket and unlocked the front door.

"Sorry, I er forgot my key, and we were waiting for you," Johnny lied as he and Kate followed Connor into the entryway. 

"This is why the two of you need me," Connor said with a weird hint of pride in his voice. 

They all went up into the dark stairwell and up to the apartment, and unbeknownst to the one who had unlocked the front door , a great change slowly settled over the occupants of the small apartment on the cold icy street.