Things I Almost Remember: A Selection Story

The Bravest

Kate and Johnny developed an unspoken agreement that they would not tell Connor about Kate's true identity, and over the days following the big revelation, Johnny saw very little of Kate. Despite the cold, she would often go for long walks during the day to get out of the apartment. She offered to run errands. When she wasn't out, she would busy herself with cleaning the apartment or reading a book and would say as little as possible to Johnny when they were forced to speak.

This went on until Christmas Eve when Johnny finally decided to confront Kate. It was just them in the apartment as Connor had gone out for the evening. The day before, Johnny had splurged and bought cocoa powder from the general store to make hot chocolate. He thought that the gesture might help to make Kate let down her guard a bit. When he had asked Kate if she wanted a cup, he had been relieved she had told him she did.

"Kate, I think we really need to talk," Johnny began as he handed her a mug of hot chocolate and sat down next to her on the sofa.

"Johnny, I can't say anything else. I don't know what else there is to say. I'm not that girl anymore. Even if it was, who I am means very little to the governing monarchy of Illéa besides being some sort of target," Kate said staring at her mug of hot chocolate. "Marid Illéa killed my parents, my brother, and everyone in the palace. If anyone even knew I was still alive, they would kill me."

"Kate, you kept telling me how you want to belong somewhere, to find your family and where you came from. You have family in France who are looking for you. Have you never read the papers? Your uncle has put out a massive reward for anyone who can give him any news as to whether you are still alive!" Johnny said forcefully. He did not mean to speak to her this way, but it frustrated him that she was so reluctant now to find her family now that she knew who she really was.

"Yes, I have heard those reports, and I also have heard of all the girls who have gone to France or sent letters to the French Royal Family claiming they're the long lost Princess Kerttu Koskinen of Illéa looking to cash in on a reward by tricking a grieving family," Kate snapped. 

"But you are not one of those girls!" Johnny said. "You are Kerttu, you would not be lying to anyone."

"Why can't you understand?" Kate said slamming her hot chocolate down on the table.

She was as frustrated with Johnny as he was with her. She did not understand why Johnny did not understand that this realization made no change for her. Not really. If anything, it just made everything worse.Kate knew that, before she could truly remember her past, she had agreed to learn about how to be a princess of Illéa, but deep down, she had agreed as a way to mollify Johnny and Connor and as a means to an end of getting to France. She never had really  expected herself to actually be Kerttu. When she had discovered who she really had been, it made her current condition and status in life even worse. She had gone from being a princess with a large family who was the future ruler of a large country to a poor and dirty orphan who lived on the street. Even if she had the memories, she felt like a fake and no better than the girls who pretended to be Kerttu.

"Please understand," she said to Johnny, trying to calm herself.  "I am not that girl. I am a poor orphan who just happens to have once lived in an alternate reality. They would be disappointed to see me."

"I don't understand," Johnny said, pressing his face into his hands. "Kate, your family will not care. They want to see YOU. They don't care if you are a princess or a poor girl. You are still Kerttu even without a palace and tiaras and fancy dresses and parties. Don't you remember your uncle? He loved you as though you were his own daughter."

"That is why I am so afraid to disappoint him," Kate said sighing and taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"Your father would always say you were the bravest of all," Johnny whispered. "What happened to that side of you?"

Kate rose suddenly and stared Johnny in the eye.

"How dare you? You don't know me. Don't talk about my father. You may have known Kerttu, but that girl has gone through a lot since you knew her. She was brave because she could be. There was nothing to be afraid of. She realized that there is no way to be brave when your entire world is stolen from you. I couldn't even be brave because I didn't even remember any of this until several days ago, and I still don't even know how I got to that road. I still can't remember everything."

Tears began to stream down Kate's face, and she slowly sat back down on the couch.

"Who is the last person who you remember before you were found on the side of the road?" Johnny asked calmly.

"The party. The party where everything happened," Kate whispered.

"I remember seeing you being carried away. You were taken out of the room by General Ledger and his wife. Do you remember them?

Kate stared off into the distance, and them some form of recollection or realization formed in her blue eyes.

"Yes, I...," she began when the apartment  door swung open.

"Connor why do you always come at the absolute worst time?" Johnny asked, exasperated. 

"Johnny, Kate, we have to go, NOW!" Connor exclaimed quickly packing supplies into a backpack he was carrying.

"Slow down Connor, what's wrong?" Kate asked, walking over and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"I just heard from a friend that some street patrol got a tip that two young men thought they had found a young woman who could be Princess Kerttu Koskinen," he said hollowly as he continued to throw things into his backpack.

"How could they know that?" Johnny asked, trying to remain calm.

"Nothing stays secret under Marid Illéa's rule," Connor said, finally putting his backpack down and looking at Kate and Johnny. "The good news is I happened to acquire those passports to get us to France from that same friend. He is a good guy to know"

Connor then pulled three official-looking pieces of parchment from his pocket and showed them to Kate and Johnny.

"We are going to France?" Kate asked, breathlessly.

"Well, there still are some logistics to work out, but yes," Connor said. "Now pack whatever you need, essentials only. They could be here any minute. Leave enough here to make it look like we just have gone out."

Kate and Johnny nodded and quickly began running around assembling their belongings.For Kate, she did not have much so it did not take long. Her most prized possession was the locket around her neck that had given her hope for the past ten years. Kate barely had any hope left at this point, but she kept thinking about what Johnny had said. Maybe, it would not matter that she was just a shell of the adored princess she once had been, Maybe, it would not matter that her clothes were frayed and torn and she had grown scrawny from not being able to eat. Maybe, the French Royal Family would accept her as Kerttu

"We need to go now!" Connor said after a few minutes of Kate and Johnny assembling their belongings."I am going to go first. Kate, you wait five minutes, then go. Johnny, wait five more after her then do the same. We will meet at the train station on Platform 4. I have enough money to get us tickets. We are going to take the train out of Nieve tonight and figure it out from there."

"What if one of us gets caught?" Johnny asked.

"Then whoever is left keeps going. It is the only safe option," Connor said. Then, he left through the apartment door as quickly as he had come.

"Here we go, Kate," Johnny said. "Are you ready for this?"

"You said I was the bravest," she said, hoping he didn't notice her digging her nails into the straps of her satchel.