GOLDEN || T. NOTT ✓

seventeen | confrontation

TWO WEEKS HAD gone by since Paz has spoken to Theo.  She had been avoiding the conversation with him, which lead to her avoiding seeing him at all.   This also meant much less time spent with Pansy and Blaise, as the three were always together. Any meals in the Great Hall Paz either sat at the opposite end of the table, grabbed her meal to go, or didn't eat at all. 

At the same time, Theo wasn't doing all that much to find Paz, so avoiding him was easy.  It was obvious to Paz that he did not want to see her either, which slightly hurt her a bit, though she knew it was for the best.

Paz mentally cursed herself for ever thinking the two of them would work out.  She reminded herself everyday that they were fighting opposite sides in the war, it would be Paz dueling Theo in the end.  He wouldn't be by her side. 

She was beginning to grow weary on the idea of Theo ever joining her.  Paz wanted to believe there was good in him, she knew there was good in him, it was just the matter of whether or not he would stand up for himself and go against his family.  It was the same for Pansy and Blaise, Paz was surprised the two of them haven't received Dark Marks yet.  This was also a relief.

Theo's dilemma wasn't the only thing on Paz's mind the last few days.  The Carrows had been cracking down on every single little thing since arrival back to Hogwarts, which meant most nights Paz, Ginny and Neville were sneaking around the dungeons, helping students escape. 

Along with this, life without Luna was also proving to be extremely difficult.  Paz loved Luna like a sister, and not having her around was very unsettling, especially because no one knew where she was.  Most nights Paz has stayed awake, thinking about Luna, about Harry, Hermione and Ron, and every once and a while about her parents as well.  She hadn't spoken to them in well over a year.

On this specific night, Paz was spending it in Ginny's room.  She was hoping that with Ginny's presence, she would finally get at least one decent nights sleep.

"Any intel on Theo?" Ginny asks from her bed.

"Nope.  I saw it though, his Dark Mark, at dinner the other day.  I don't know what to do anymore Gin." Paz sighs, flipping over and burying her face into a pillow.  "I want to give up."

"Don't say that," Ginny spoke harshly, throwing a spare pillow at Paz.  "The war has barely begun, I can't have you giving up just yet."

Paz sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.  She rubs her eyes, then glances over towards Ginny's bed.  Ginny noticed the bags under Paz's eyes were darker and larger than normal.  Her eyes were bloodshot, her skin was pale, she looked extremely ill.  Ginny had never seen her at such a low point.

Ginny stood up and walked over to Paz, taking a seat next to her and wrapping an arm around her.  Paz leaned into Ginny, feeling the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes.  She blinked furiously, attempting to keep them from spilling out.

"I think I've really lost him this time, Gin." Paz whispers, doing her best to keep her voice from breaking mid sentence.

"Theodore Nott isn't your responsibility, you know him better than most, and you know he won't go against his family's wishes.  There is nothing you could have done to change his mind." Ginny says, softly rubbing Paz's back in an attempt to comfort her.

"But I almost had him, I know it," Paz says, glancing up at Ginny, "I swear I did.  If he hadn't gone home for holiday I know he would have joined us by now."

Ginny sighs, breaking her gaze away from Paz. 

"You and I both know that's not true."

Paz shifts away from Ginny, staring towards her feet.  She knew Ginny was right, though she did not want to believe it.  She knew there was good in Theo.  There had to be.  Paz refused to give up.