Be Mine

572 18 17
                                    

It's been two weeks and Alexia is now on our tour bus, her friend always following behind. She still hasn't told me who he was, but whenever I ask, that look stays in her sweet eyes. I worry about that a bit. Why is she so afraid of who her friend is? Why is she so afraid to say his name, even though it's just the two of us sometimes? I have to admit, it makes me really uneasy and I hate every bit of it.

I put up with it though, and tonight, it will be my job to put up with it. I've finally been able to say that I'm crushing on her. I've gotten to know her better and I've been around her so much and I see a change in her, and I'm in love with that change. Tonight, I've decided to ask her to be mine, despite many factors I refuse to let my brain get into. Riley and I still haven't communicated but I still see her pretty often when she's back stage. She's slowly been starting to look a bit like herself again, as her hair is put neatly into place, and he light cover of make up frames her deep brown eyes again.

I try not to spend my time gazing at her anymore, as I'm afraid that gazing at her will make me pick up on things I'm still in love with. I still love her, but I've been able to push that feeling away from my heart and mind because I will have to learn to live with it. Sometimes, you just can't let go of someone. That's okay, though, because I've found someone who makes me forget Riley when I am with her. That would be Alexia.

Jack and the guys aren't as suspicious any more, I don't think. Either that or they keep it to themselves and wait until I am gone to babble and talk about how apparently wrong I am for doing this. I've spoken to them about Alexia on multiple occasions, and not when she is with us on our bus. We don't sleep in the same bed though. She sleeps in my bunk and I sleep on the couch, still refusing to sleep in the bed Riley and I once slept in.

Every now and then I'll walk in the room and sit there on the bed very gently, smelling the air, as her fruity shampoo smell still lingers there. I go there to write sometimes, because her smell calms me down now. I used to not be able to walk in that room because my fear of the memories. Now, I just don't want those memories to fade away. If I sleep there and have dreams, then that will be the last memory I have of that bed. I want my last memory of that bed to be with Riley, in my arms as I count her heartbeat at night when I can't sleep.

I've been able to kiss Alexia without thinking of Riley for the most part. Our kisses aren't heated, they're slow and sure. I like that things are slow again, it makes everything else flow so much better.

Right now, we're getting ready to end our set and end the show for the night, which Vic will assist in the singing of our last song. Tonight, I've decided to play the song I've written about Riley. It's the second to last song we're playing which means it's coming up next. As our current song ends, I grab the microphone and smile at the crowd, astonished at how large it is compared to our first crowd of people. I share the same look with the rest of the guys quickly.

"Alright, guys!" I calm them. "This next song is a new one that I wrote a while back about a girl you all know fairly well. During our break up, I wrote this one night."

"Half drunk, might I add." Jack smirks into the microphone.

I laugh. "Shut up," I joke. "He's right though." The crowd shakes in laughter as I look around one last time before giving everyone the idea to start, my heart beats in my chest as I know Riley is watching, most likely feeling sick to her stomach.

What I am supposed to do, uh oh
When she's so damn cold, like twenty below?
That girl, that girl, she's such a bitch
But I tell myself I can handle it

You know I don't frequent the L.B.C
Cause I'm a bit too pale to run that scene
But the So Cal sun has grown on me
And that girl (That girl)
That girl (That girl)

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