Old Times, Again.. Maybe

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I wake up today to feel the space beside me empty and missing its warmth. Instead I hear running water from the bathroom. I assume Riley was okay with me being near her. She didn’t wake me up in a rage. I get up and grab my swimming trunks and a tank top. I text the guys and ask them about going to the beach today instead of practicing or relaxing or recording. They all agree. Rian and Cass will be down two hours late because Rian wants a date on a day off.

                I quickly slide on my trunks and as I pull my tank over Riley comes out of the bathroom. “What are you doing?” She asks, stopped in her tracks as she fiddles with her long sleeves.

                I walk over to her and rest my hands on her waist. “Beach time. I want to spend time with you and the guys today, just hanging out. How does that sound, Riley?” I see her become almost instantly uncomfortable when I mention the beach.

                “The beach?” I nod. “Why the beach? I mean, why not somewhere else?” She asks. “Like go get dinner or something?” She suggests.

                “Well the beach is a lot of fun and it’s close. We can all have dinner later. How does that sound, Riley?” I smile at her encouragingly.

                “I just,” Her eyes look down. “I’m too insecure.” She says.

                “It will be fine. I promise. Go get yourself ready and we’ll head down.” I kiss her forehead and watch her pull out her swim suit and head to the bathroom. What is she possibly so insecure about? Did she actually hurt herself? I feel like something like that happened, but I can’t just continuously accuse her of that. That would be rude. She comes out of the bathroom and I try to keep eye contact, but she’s so beautiful. Her light blue bikini outlines her figure that I’ve only just now discovered that she had. She wears a light knitted cardigan over herself. Her hair pulled up in a bun, she smiles weakly at me, catching my eyes again. I blush a bit at getting caught looking at her that way.

                We throw some towels and snacks into a bag and we head out the door and down the elevator to the sidewalk. Soon, the sidewalk turns to sand and we step quickly so the hot sand doesn’t burn our feet much. I help her lay out the larger towel to lie on and we sit there and wait for Jack and Zack.

                She and I put on sun block and our sunglasses and we just sit there and talk about nothing that even matters. Finally, I see that smile come back. “I’ve missed you,” I say. And I genuinely have.she looks at me, almost a bit shocked.

                “Really?” She asks and turns toward me.

                “Well, yeah.” I say and smile at her. “We had a pretty good date and we were good up until recording,” I say, knowing that it is my own fault.

                “It’s fine, really.” She says, but I know it isn’t. Those sunglasses may be able to hide the pain in her eyes through that statement, but her voice gives away and cracks. I raise my eyebrows at her and she smiles weakly. “It is. You’re here now, and as long as you stay, it will all be okay.” She says, almost repeating my words from before. That line is so repetitive, yet we both still wait for the day for it to come true. We’re both still waiting for the day that I do stay and not leave, whether it is intentional or not.

                My eyes flicker to her lips behind my sun glasses. Slowly, I start to lean in and for the first time in a very long time, so does she. I rest my hand on her cheek to guide her to me and as our lips touch, I feel her smile against mine, and I smile back and kiss her slowly. Her hand holds my hand that holds her soft face, pancaking me between her.

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