Tidsoptimist

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~Past~

Tomorrow was the day...my competition and the day I will finally confess to Wooyoung.
„Soeun I will confess tomorrow."
„Good luck." she said. She confessed to Jongho yesterday and got dumped.
That made me a little bit afraid.
„I am sure you will find someone who suits you."
„Don't worry I won't give up un Jongho."
She was really determined.

Finally the day of the competition.It was also my birthday and the day I will confess.If Wooyoung accepts my confession it will be the happiest day of my life.The day will be perfect today.
„Mom I need to hurry up."
„What about breakfast?I don't have time for that."
I have to practice." and I need to confess to Wooyoung.

„Sis wait-„
„I don't have time Haemi let's talk later."
„What about your birthday cake?"
„Just buy something you want I don't care."
„We will come watch your competition later, let's go home together then."Mom said.
„Hey at least show us your face.We can't remember how you look like.The past few days you only practiced we never got to see you."
„I said I have no time." angrily I left without even looking back at Haemi and Moms face.I didn't see dad for a week, but that's ok I will have more time for them after the competition.

After practicing I came out and saw Wooyung waiting for me.
„Why did you call me?"he asked seriously.
„Is everything ok?"
„Of course.So what did you want to talk about?"
„I- it's my birthday today you know."
„Right I forgot.Happy Birthday." What's going on how could he forget? he had been asking me for weeks what I want for my birthday why is he being so cold.
„If you don't have anything to say I am going."
„I- I like you Wooyoung.I liked you for months now..will you go out with me?"

He didn't turn around for a while.My heart was beating like crazy what will his answer be?

„I am sorry Haewon....I don't like you.I just see you as a friend nothing more.Don't destroy this friendship.I will act like I never heard it."

He walked away and I stood there like an idiot and couldn't move.My body wasn't listening to me.It started raining and I still didn't move away.Tears were falling and mixed with the rain.No one could tell I was crying.It was so hard to breath.I always thought that he also liked me...how could I think that?

I sat down on a bench and the rain got heavier.I got calls from my mom, which I didn't pick up.I was not in the mood to talk with her.She wouldn't stop calling so I threw my phone and it finally silenced.
Am I stupid? Why am I sitting here like this I should go prepare for my competition.I won't let him ruin my day I can't let him do that...

I dried my hair in the changing room and got ready for the stage.
„Haewon your parents called a while ago they were worried that you didn't pick up your phone, because of the heavy rain.Call them back."I looked out of the window, then rain really got heavier and it's thundering.
„I will." I told my teacher and sat down.
I couldn't think about anything else...I ruined everything, we won't be able to remain as friends....I hate myself.

I flinched when the door opened suddenly and it was the secretary of my dad.He was out of breath and totally drenched from the rain.
„Why didn't you pick up your phone?"
„What happened?"
„Your parents and Haemi....had an accident.They are in a critical condition."

„Take me to them." I ran as fast as I could.
Arriving at the hospital I waited in front of the operating room. I started crying.
„I will never ignore your calls please just wake up I beg you."my hands were trembling and I couldn't breathe properly...

After whole 2 hours the doctors came out looking down to the floor.
„Are you their family?"
„I am the daughter."
„I am sorry to deliver this news to you but we couldn't save your parents and sister...I am really sorry."
My legs were getting weak.I screamed like crazy and I felt someone hugging me I didn't know who it was.
„I am so sorry mom, I am so sorry dad, I am so sorry Haemi....please come back don't leave me.I am all alone."I screamed and couldn't breathe properly.
„You are not alone my angel I will be there for you."
It was the voice of my uncle.
„Uncle they can't leave like that.What about me? They should have taken me with them."

It was the worst day of my life I just wanted to disappear.....

2 weeks later

„I want to change the school."
„But why? When we went to take your belongings from your house your friends came by.They were worried about you.
„You didn't tell them about me right?"
„No we didn't.But are you sure that you want to change the school?"
„Yes please do me the favor.I want to stay away from anything that reminds me of them."
„Alright my dear.Let's move school.During that time you will stay with us."
„Uncle...I want you to take care of the company until I am done with my studies."
„That's no problem for me but....will you give up your dream for this company?"

„My dream took away my parents.If only I didn't take part in that competition that day, they would have stayed at home and would be alive.It's all because of me.Because of that damn dream, I practiced like crazy without getting to see my family.Haemi said she can't remember my face and now....it's me who can't remember it.No matter how much I think about it I can't remember their face of my last moment with them.
Again my panic attack occurred and my uncle hurried to give me my pills.
„Here take it."

After I calmed down I felt so sorry towards my uncle and aunt.
„If only I picked up their call that day....."
I shouldn't have taken it for granted that I will see them after the competition....I thought I will have enough time to spend with them...

1 week later

I finally changed school and was all alone at my new school.I didn't have any friends I was a loner and everyone talked about me behind my back.
„Isn't that the girl which lost her family in that accident?"
„Yes I saw it in the news.It was on her birthday.She is so pitiful."
Again my panic attack.No please not now.
„Shut the fuck up you are getting on my nerves.I am trying to sleep."
It was the boy who always slept in class.He woke up and everyone was silence as soon as he looked at them....the boy was Haru...he made me calm down so my panic attack didn't occur.I looked at him and smiled but he was just looking at me seriously and laid his head on the table again...


Tidsoptimist; a person who is always late because they believe they have more time than they do.

🌸I am so tired because of work.I want to stay home tomorrow.😭 But at least I will only work 5 hours after that it's time to continue the story.So see you next time.🌸

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