Herophine | Aeipathy

Chapter 40

Warning: This chapter contains of Adult and Dark Contents. Please read at your own risk.

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We were now laying down the bed and wrapped into each other's arms.

I was looking at the ceiling as i settled my breathings. And his hand on my hair combing the long strands.

"Its okay if you don't want to talk about it, There is always another time." He raps but i shake my head. I stared at him with determination in my eyes.

It is either now or i am never going to had another chance to tell him, For some reason the thought of someone might be already living inside me.

Brings me the strength that i did not know i had. I am not just doing this for Hero but also for my child.

"No, I wanted to tell you now." I said that made him sigh. I can feel him listening despite the silence so i continued.

I prayed hard that i am not going to have a break out and return to the darkness again, I already did a mistake a while ago.

What i am about to do is not easy, I never talked about what happened to me to anyone.

Except for my therapists, which was very hard, Saying all your flaws and exposing your whole soul to strangers did not really helped me.

That every time i would pretend that i am alright just so my parents wont be bothered looking out for me.

And i am not doing another one. I am so done of always running away. I am so done of hiding these things from him and everyone.

I am now finally ready to let go, For the sake of my child and after all this i promise myself a long happy and healthy life, It was all for my baby.

"I had been hiding this for years, It was a very sensitive part of me that i did not want you to know." I started and i can feel him humming despite his violent breathes on my neck.

"Hmm.." He hummed again to keep me going. As if he was reassuring me that he is right here. And he is with me.

"I thought that not telling you was the greatest decision because after that night. All those trauma from my past came back, I remembered waking up feeling scared."

He didn't respond but i can feel him still listening. And i can feel his arms tightening around me. Like he was also remembering that night.

"And i had no idea what to do, It was not my intention but all the bad memories came back and they turned into you." My voice cracked and my tears were suddenly back.

"Shh.. baby." He soothes me in a whisper and i can feel him giving me slow gentle kisses on my neck.

I let out a deep breathe once again so i could continue. I needed to be strong.

The tears wont do me any good. Being afraid is what i am before. And i wanted to face my consequences now.

"I didn't want you to settle at me for less....I am a broken girl and i don't deserve you. You deserve to be with someone else that can love you without being afraid." I said and heard my voice crack.

He suck in a huge deep breathe. As if it pained him to hear what i just said. 

"But you are everything to me, Everything." He said that made me cry harder.

"I am disgusting." I whispered absentmindedly.

"Shh.. You are not disgusting, Stop saying that." He says to me gently that made me bit my lips.