DaanveerPutri

Bhimasena's Maatha

"Why did I develop so much hatred for you, Brother? I verbally abused you and desired to witness your death. Rage had blinded my vision, Brother. Seeing you on Duryodhana's side, and utter words of challenge against Arjuna, I lost the capacity to see you separately from the Kauravas. The brother whom I should have desired to worship, I instead wished to crush you to the ground with my feet. Will you ever forgive me, Brother?"

The trickle of moonlight entering the dark room was the sole witness to Rajkumar Bhima's emotional breakdown in the royal kitchen. It has been a few months since they had all reached Hastinapura post the war, yet the aftermath of it still loomed as a dark cloud over the kingdom. Yudhisthira was now ruling the kingdom, with his brothers and Draupadi by his side. The citizens, though deeply wounded by the battle, found relief in the righteous rule of their Chakravarthi. The girl, Mitra, had also settled in and had started to feel at home with all the Pandavas, except one. Yet, no matter how much she tried, she could never grasp hold of the opportunity to have a proper conversation with her uncle Bhima. Whenever she would bump into him in the hallways, he would give her a quick smile and rush off before she could call out to him.

"How will I face Mitra's face, Brother? How can I face your child's face? The guilt is eating me alive. She has been following me around, attempting to strike a conversation, but I've been running away. I know that this action of mine brings her more sorrow, but what else will I do? How will I tell her, I'm your unworthy uncle Putri who insulted your father from the day I first laid eyes on him, and wanted nothing more than seeing him dead. I can run away from her lovely smile forever, but cannot come face to face with the deep hatred which is bound to replace the innocence in those lovely eyes, once she hears of this. That would be the death of me."

The plate of laddoos that lay before him remained untouched, despite the hunger that had pulled him away from his bed towards the kitchen. Bhima let the controlled tears run freely from his eyes as he succumbed to his guilt and remorse. "I'm so sorry, Brother."

Mitra's eyes fluttered open and a soft gasp escaped her lips as she was woken from her sleep. What was that voice? She maintained stillness and observed her surroundings. Everything was silent, except the soft, deep breathing near her left ear, and the rhythmic thumping of a heartbeat below her cheek. She shifted her head slightly and felt her cheek graze against the carved pendant of the haara that her Baba always wore around his neck. Arjuna, in his deep sleep, reacted slightly to his shifting child, as he wound his one arm more snugly around her, and rested the other hand on the side of her head – sensing that his child needed comfort in sleep as well.

From the night of her father's death till now, Mitra slowly began suffering from insomnia. Whenever she slept alone, images of her father's lifeless body and her mother entering his funeral pyre kept haunting her dreams. The only place where she was able to sleep peacefully without experiencing the heart-breaking dreams was in Arjuna's arms.

She felt her mother's hand on her forearm and remembered her whereabouts. Subhadra had insisted Mitra sleep in between both her and Arjuna, to ensure that she does not fall off the side of the bed in her sleep. Remembering her mother's hysterical reactions imagining what would happen if she fell off, still brought a smile to her face. Mitra had laughingly told her that she would only wound her arm or leg at the most. She would not crack her skull open. Yet, Subhadra had refused to budge in her decision, and the case was settled. She was to sleep in between them to ensure peace of mind for her other mother. Mothers will always be mothers, Mitra thought as she stifled a giggle. 

Now coming back to the present, who did that voice belong to? Everyone around her was asleep, and the night was as silent as usual. Yet, Mitra was sure she had heard a voice which had pulled her out of her sleep.