EIGHTEEN

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That day, the wolves met the Cullen's in a clearing deep in the woods. Eleanor stood with Bella, leaning on the jeep with a cigarette dangling between her fingers as they watched them train.

"You and Jasper seem... close."

Eleanor watched the curiosity spark in Bella's eyes as she spoke, as well as something else - hope. Whether it was hope for Eleanor's emotions or hope that she wouldn't be the only human entangled in the Cullen family, she wasn't sure.

"We are."

Normally, she'd leave it as that. Her usual stoic expression not giving away any of the new emotions that bubbled under the surface, but she could hear the slight desperation in Bella's voice - she wanted to know that she was okay.

"I don't know when it happened - we just understand each other, even in silence." Eleanor thought back to their first kiss, "He's more myself than I am."

Bella's heart warmed as she listened to the adoration in Eleanor's voice. She thought back to the cold, unfeeling girl who had moved to Forks, and whilst that's still how she seems to most people, Bella saw how she changed for Jasper

"Well he looks at you like he's just realised what love is."

Eleanor glanced over at him as he coached his brother, and managed to catch him just as he was gazing at her. He smiled sheepishly before turning back to his sparring siblings.

Love.

An unfamiliar word for her, she had watched her parents love each other every day of her life. But it wasn't something Eleanor ever believed she would find, even in London. She was never a very committing person, her time was spent in her studies and piano lessons - everything else was just for fun. But then her life changed.

A sickening crunch distracted Eleanor from her pondering, it was followed by a series of whimpers and snarls. She looked up to find a wolf writhing on the ground, surrounded by the others, Carlisle kneeling beside him.

Quil lay in the dirt, his leg bending at an odd angle.

"What happened?" Eleanor asked anyone who was listening.

"He tried to attack Emmett," Rosalie didn't look concerned whatsoever, "And he defended himself."

The pack quickly took Quil on their shoulders and into the woods - Sam had conversed with Emmett, which Eleanor expected to result in some sort of fight, but he followed the pack away.

"Look it was reflexes!" Emmett obviously didn't regret his actions, "I didn't mean to break the kids leg."

"This puts our numbers down, we're already at a disadvantage," Carlisle's brows furrowed in the way they do when he's worried, "Jasper?"

"Our numbers were limited anyway, it means we have to fight harder."

His tone was military and cold, Eleanor could see that it didn't look good for them.

It spilled from her lips before she had considered her words.

"I want to fight."

She watched Jasper as he turned to her, his lips curled in confusion.

"We spoke about this."

"I need to do this Jasper, you said it yourself we need all the help we can get." Despite her unemotional nature, her eyes apologised to him, "And I can help - you know that better than anyone."

"Eleanor, you know the consequences of your own power." Carlisle studied her face, set in stone and resolved in her decision. "It's your decision."

In any other situation, he would never allow her to risk her life. But to protect Bella and the coven, he wouldn't deny her the choice.

Jasper's hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her away slightly and turning her to face him.

"I'm not letting you do this, you promised me."

Eleanor hated herself in that moment, as she looked into Jasper's eyes, stormy with anxiety and broken promises.

"I'm sorry Jasper, but how can I stand back and watch you fight?" She brought her hands up to his cheeks, "You won't lose me and I won't lose you. I swear."

Jasper's eyes closed, as if he couldn't bare to look at her, at what might be taken from him.

"How can I trust that?" He looked anywhere but at her pleading eyes, "How can I when I know the cruelty of war? I've lost so much from it I can't let it take you too."

"Jasper," His name in her voice was sweet as it lingered on her tongue, disarming him, "I need to do this. I need to help - I need to prove myself."

"To who?" His voice was sharp now, questioning.

"You know who. It's selfish and greedy, I know, but I need to be good for once because I can't go back."

Her hands had fallen from his face, a memory of the hell she found herself in reflected in her eyes. And he understood. He could feel her fear - fear that if she didn't do this then she'd be bound for hell.

She had never spoken of what she had seen in her death - he knew it had scared her, a deep incurable dread.

But it wasn't enough.

"Eleanor you don't need to do this. Death played it's tricks, but you have nothing to prove, you're mine, not his, and I won't let you go."

Eleanor was silent, her heart breaking at the desperation in his voice. But she needed to do this, for Bella, for Charlie, for herself.

"Please. I can't go back there."

"I won't train you." His voice seemed unfamiliar, cold and distant as he almost spat his words out. "I won't help you kill yourself."

She couldn't reply. Jasper was gone in a second leaving nothing but emptiness.

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