Mental

43 | p a i n t i n g

"The world is a prison in which solitary confinement is preferable."

— Karl Kraus

/ / l o u i s / /

"Are you going to eat that?"

I stare down at my tray and my stomach turns. The food here's terrible but I highly expected worse. I cover my face with my hands and take a couple of deep breaths. I need to get out of here. I've been here for nearly a week and I can't take it anymore. I miss Evelyn and I need her. Her presence keeps me sane and without her, I'm slowly losing my mind. Maybe I should've waited on calling the police when she fell in the church? No. No, what am I thinking? I had to do it. If I didn't do it, Evelyn would be dead and I would probably be on my way to knock on death's door.

"Hey, are you going to eat that?"

I remove my hands from my face and the man who's sitting in front of me already has his hand on my tray. Even if I say no, he will probably take my food anyway and I don't know where his hands have been. How do I know they're clean? Hell, they're probably not. I look away from my tray and look up at the ceiling. Harry was here not even two hours ago and I wish he was here now. He's ill and he's stuck in a human body. If he was here now, I would beat his ass. He thinks that he can keep Evelyn and I apart. He cannot and I think he knows that it is impossible.

"Are you going to eat your food?" the man asks for the third time. "You've been sitting there for at least ten minutes and you haven't touched a single thing."

I look at him and my lips form in a thin, straight line.

"Hey, man. Just answer the question. Are you going to eat that or not?"

I don't blink as I continue to stare at him.

"Look, I'm not going to ask you again—"

"Just take the damn tray already!" I yell and he winces. 

The cafeteria gets quiet and I cross my arms across my chest. The man takes the tray and I'm not surprised when he gets up to go sit somewhere else. I move my hair out of my face and scratch at my facial hair. I'm too upset. I'm pissed. I know Harry has done something to Evelyn. I can feel it in my gut and I don't like this feeling. He'll be back soon and when he comes, he'll brag about what he did to her. It won't be like him if he doesn't.

I place my hands in my lap and stare at my nails. There's dirt underneath them and I have not even bothered to clean them. Why should I? All of the prisoners work hard during the day. Lunch is the only break we get and when it is time to go to bed, I don't even remember my head hitting the pillow. I place my elbows on the table and put my chin on the palm of my left hand. The man who took my tray is staring at me from across the cafeteria and I stare right back. He doesn't have a right to look at me. I gave him my food for God's sake. I was going to eat it but when I was ready. Too much was going through my mind and he was getting on my last nerve. So, I let him take my tray. Who cares if I miss a few meals?

I sure as hell don't.

I scoot back in my seat and pull my knees up to my chest. I want Evelyn and being without her is pure torture. Maybe it's best that I'm not with her right now. All I know is that she's in the hospital and there's nothing I can do to get to her. Harry won't help me and I want to kill him while he's stuck in his human form. I want to grab a knife and drag it down his body. I would laugh as he would scream and try to put up a fight.

"Are you finished?"

I look up to see a guard standing over me. "Yeah."

"Let's head back to your cell."