He stood, partially hidden from the window. As he peaked around looking inside the cafe, he was mesmerized by her. It had only been a couple of months since he had seen her last. The vision of her satisfied him like no other. Her physical appearance had never been in question, he always found her breathtakingly beautiful, but looking at her now, stuck a different cord. The complete calmness, that warm like, " I'm home, " feeling, poured over him. He took a deep breath, utterly disgusted with himself. Look at me, sneaking around, peaking in windows, like a stupid idiot....he turned to take one last look before making his exit. " OH NO, " They're getting ready to leave. He turned quickly and ducked into the store next door. He jumped in and closed the door fast, leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed. His heart pounding, he drew in a deep breath and exhaled. He then slowly opened his eyes, looking directly into the faces of three women staring at him. He gazed about seeing, mirrors, hair dryers, nail polish everything he knew nothing about...
The women stared, he smiled, they smiled, he finally nodded his head and bowing as he slowly backed out of the door. Completely unraveled, he looked around to see if he could see CeyCey or Sanem. What has gotten into you Divit, you're losing your grip. Not seeing either of them he started the walk back to the office. Her image fresh and vivid in his mind, he wondered if she lived around here, or maybe worked close by. The thought to follow him again popped into his mind, but maybe not, he pondered, " you're not to good at it , but you didn't get caught. " he laughed. It was definitely worth the risk, she looked great, he had missed her, he had missed her even while he was on his climbing trip, and never got to she her then. He started thinking of the next time, he would follow Leila or Emre, he would have to listen more closely to their conversations. He laughed to himself, If you're going to make a career out of stalking, you better be more aware of the surroundings.
Sanem walked the few blocks to her apartment, smiling, so happy she had a visit with her friend. They had such a deep connection. From the very start, they blended, she trusted him fully. They had ate together, so she only made her some tea, when she arrived home. She immediately got right on her writing. The people she was closest to always brought out the creativity in her. Her writing tired her, she drifted off late in the evening. She woke startled, she had dreamed of him, she hadn't dream of Can in a few days. It felt so real, he was leaving with Polen, on their way to the Balkan mountains, she was laughing as the walked to the plane. Sanem was calling to him, but he didn't turn around. It was like a long tunnel and they were sucked into it....Why did she have to remember. Their time together was always in her mind, sometimes she wished she had lost her memory too. Looking at her phone she saw it was 5:00am, almost time to get up, she thought, that hadn't been the best nights sleep, but it would have to do....
The replay ran over and over in his head that evening, why couldn't she just talk to him. Just let him in a little, he regretted everything that was happening and it wasn't his fault. Can kept her in his thought all night. He had that same dream again, they were fighting on the rocks by the coast, did it have a meaning. He knew he had to find out. The presentation went off without a hitch. The client were very pleased and ready to sign the agreement. The agency was on it's way, all thanks to Sanem and her cream. The urge to text her won him over, happy to tell the news about the new client. He sent, " Hi, how are you. Got a new client today, agency doing great. I need to see you, let's get together.
She saw the text as she walked home from work. The feeling to go right to the office and see him overwhelmed her. He sounded so lonely, but she couldn't give in....She returned. " I'm glad for you. You all deserve this. I'm fine....I don't think it's a good idea to meet, it's to soon...........
It made her sad but their problems are still problems, nothing has been solved and it never will be. She needed to get her mind off of him for a while. Maybe call Maya go to the movies, just anything to escape the constant regret. They agreed to meet for the early evening show, so they could be back home early. They picked a comedy, she wanted nothing to do with romantic right now....The laughter helped her but Maya could tell she wasn't herself.. She wanted to help her friend, that's just what friends do. She asked her if she needed to talk about it, Sanem shook her head saying, " Now is not the best time to talk, my feelings are up in the air and i can't make any sense right now. But thanks for worrying about me." Maya understood, " Just when ever you need to talk I'll be there. " she said. They said their goodnights and started home. There would be no writing tonight, a good hot shower, a little reading and bed...
She checked her phone, she had a text from Can... " Sanem, when will it ever be a good time? " I need to see you, don't shut me out ."
Sanem texted, " Can, I never shut you out, YOU shut me out. Maybe not intentionally, but nevertheless that's what happened. This is all we can have right now. I'm living day to day, still tortured and broken. Take this time to fix yourself .
Can read that text over and over, What did she mean, " This is all we can have right now " she has to let me in, we can fix "us" together.
YOU ARE READING
MEMORIES....SOME LAST A LIFETIME
RomanceCan has lost all memory of Sanem and the love they had. He longs for his old life. It seems that Sanem doesn't fit in his life now..The struggle of moving on when her heart wants to stay.
