Royals

Chapter 40

"Go back to your hotel and sleep," Lilia sighed, slowly inching towards her bed.

"Why don't you believe me?" I asked, exasperated. Of all the ways she could have reacted, I must say this was not one that I had anticipated.

"You're drunk, emotionally unstable, and sleep-deprived," she quickly answered.

"While that may be true, I'm telling the truth. But she checked out of her hotel and is probably on her way back here to rat me out," I divulged, running a hand through my now tangled hair.

"What could you have possibly done to make her sporadically move away in the first place?"

"I-I can't," I whispered. "I can't tell you."

"Of course."

"I just wanted you to hear about Ariana from me. That's better than hearing it from her, right?"

"It'd be best not hearing it at all," she deadpanned, narrowing her eyes into slits.

"I know, but I'm really sorry; that's why I'm here. Now, I'm gonna let you sleep, and I'll come back tomorrow morning. We can't get breakfast. Does that sound good?"

"No."

"No?" I parroted.

"No. Don't bother."

"Oh. Well how about lunch?" I offered.

"I don't even know how to deal with you," she exhaled, scaring me. It wasn't an I'm-tired-because-you-woke-me-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night kind of sigh, it was an I'm-tired-of-constantly-having-to-put-up-with-your-crap sigh. "You're so immature, and you don't know when enough is enough. You mess around, and leave before you can even deal with the consequences. You act like everything can be taken lightly, and you never own up to your mistakes. You always have an excuse for everything.

"Your problem is that you don't think; you just act. I mean, who does that?" She screamed. "Who ships a teenage girl off to a foreign country, as if she's a meaningless object? You can't just do that."

My heart dropped in my chest because T his was it, and we both knew it. This was the final straw. I thought she was mad before, but this? This was worse.

"I try, Lil. I really do," I whispered. "I'm trying to change, trying to be a better person. But it feels like every single thing I do backfires on me, and as soon as I'm making progress, I'm knocked over again. I'm spiraling downhill, and I'm scared, Lillia. What if I never act like a normal person? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?"

Lillia's eyes softened, and the fear that once filled them was replaced with concern. In a soft voice, she muttered, "Why are you keeping so many secrets from me?"

"I wish I could tell you everything, but I'm too much of a coward. I'm gutless, and I'm afraid of the consequences and your reaction."

"Can it honestly be that bad?"

"Yes," I answered, but I was nibbling on my nail buds, so I doubt she heard me.

"How about we make a deal? A compromise?" she reasoned.

"What do you mean?" I susurrated, settling myself cross-legged on the rigid hotel mattress.

"Well, obviously, you had your reasons for sending Ariana away. How about you tell me them, and only that, and then I'll tell you anything you want to know," she suggested, gently smiling.

I cracked a small smile, honored by her attempt, "Lil, you don't really have any terribly remarkable secrets."

"Ouch," she mockingly retorted, shielding her heart with her bony hands. "How about I tell you about this little thing then?" she asked, revealing to me a sliver of faded, navy blue ink on her hip.