How My Life Changed In 12 Days

December 30th

   I stretch my arms and open my eyes. I sit up sleepishly and yawn. My head hurts and I hold it as I groan. I get out of bed and go to my dad's room. I take a pill from there and swallow it. I go into the kitchen to find Ira but she isn't there.

   "Ira!" I call as I look around.

   That's when it hits me. Everything that happened last night comes back to my mind.

   No!no!no!

  I run back to my room and look around. I notice that her suitcases are gone. I see a blood stain on my bed and my eyes widened. I notice a paper under her pillow. I take it and read it.

Dear Chelsea,

Where do I start? Uh! I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what had gotten into me. I'm sorry I ruined everything. I feel like such a jerk. You probably won't wanna look at me again because of what I did. So I left. I can't stand the guilt. Especially knowing that I took your Vcard. It was supposed to be special. I'm so sorry. Please don't come searching for me. By the time you read this I'll be on a plane to London. I'm sorry. I understand if you are mad.

   "No! No! No!"

   I run my hand through my hair in frustration. I grab my phone and try calling her but her phone is switched off. I groan in irritation. I rush to the closet and wear some clothes before grabbing my mum's keys and getting in the car. I message Ira:  please don't leave. I need you here. It's not your fault. We were in it together. Let's forget last night. Just come back. I need my best friend.

  

****

   I run around the full airport trying to search for her but she's no where to be found. I enquire about the planes and I get to know she already left. I sink down in one of the chair as I burst into tears. I bury my hand in my face and cry.

   I'm so stupid. How can I let this happen?

  I look at the old guy beside of me and he ask me, "what's wrong kid?"

   I cry my heart out to him and tell him everything even though I don't know him.

   "If you love her. Go after her kid. Don't let anything stop you."

   "It's not that easy."

   I know what he will reply. It is if you fight for her. Well he doesn't know me and I don't need people's advise. So I stand up before he can speak, wipe my cheeks and walk away.

****

   I get home and throw myself on the bed as I cry for hours. My phone beeps in a notification and I look at it.

Don't worry. I'll wear my suit and I'll virtually walk down with Jay :)

   I cry harder reading her text. I click on shaun text and I see a love quote. I cry harder in guilt. I sit up and mutter, "I'm just a fuckup!" I start having negative thoughts as I cry violently.

   I walk into the bathroom, turn on the shower and grab a razor. I sit under the water and cry letting the water dissolve my tears. I hold the razor to my hand thinking of how much I messed up. I think of everyone's reaction if the truth comes out.

   "It's better to die," I tell myself and I'm about to cut when someone pulls the razor out of my hand.

   I look at my dad who looks just as shocked as me. He turns off the shower and sits down beside of me. He doesn't say anything. I look at him and find him staring at the razor. I burst into tears and cling onto him. He wraps his arms around me as I say, "I'm sorry."