Cursed | Yang Hongseok

•5

During the next few minutes, Hongseok told me a little bit about himself.

"A lot of people will maybe find my decision to write a biography strange, considering the fact that I may appear really young. But the truth is, I have been trough a lot of things." He said, taking a sip of his wine.

"What kind of things?" I wanted to know.

"I moved around a lot when I was younger, and even after that. However, I think that the most memorable part of my life was the time I spent in the military." He said.

"The military?!" I asked in shock, while I was writing the most important pieces of information on my laptop. "I'm sorry if I sound like most people while saying this, but you do look way too young to be an ex soldier."

"I know." Hongseok agreed with my statement. "And the fact that it happened quite a long time ago doesn't make it any easier to believe. However, for me it seems like it all happened yesterday..."

"Can you tell me more about that time of your life?" I asked, and Hongseok's facial expression got brighter in a wierd way, almost as if he was waiting for me to ask that.

"Of course." He said, taking another sip of wine. I was afraid that by the time this meeting would be finished, he would already be way too drunk.

"I used to serve my duty as a soldier in China. At first, I was feeling sad and homesick most of the time, and I knew that I needed to get rid of those feelings as fast as I could. Lucky for me, it turned out to be an easy task. I met seven other soldiers who were also serving there at the same time as me. Honestly, we didn't get along so well at first. But as time went by, we became friends for life. We always had each other's back, and truth to be told, we still do. However, I also had someone else to help me overcome my initial sadness..."

"Is that so? Who was the person that you had?" I asked, seeing that he zoned off in the middle of the sentence. I didn't blame him, though, because this wine was quite strong and I also started to feel a bit dizzy myself.

"I met a woman back then. She was really special, because despite barely knowing me, she always made sure I was feeling happy and safe. I was thankful for her, and her gestures made me want to make her feel the same way. That was the moment that I knew I fell in love with her. At first, I wasn't really sure if she felt the same way, but the time proved me right. We really loved each other with our whole hearts. That was probably the happiest period of my life. In fact, I don't remember being happy ever since..." Hongseok took a deep breath. I noticed that speaking about this topic was particularly hard for him. And for some reason, I also noticed that listening to him speak about it was kind of hard for me, too. I didn't know why, but hearing how happy he was while he was in love with another woman made me feel really wierd. Could it be that I was jealous? It didn't really feel like jealousy. Sure, there were some elements of it, but then again, it felt different. It was a feeling that I wasn't quite able to explain.

"You sound like you're not happy anymore." I stated, watching him pour himself another glass. I wanted to tell him to stop, but who was I to say such things?

"I'm afraid you're right." He said, taking a huge sip from the glass. I took a sip of mine, too. I definitely needed it.

"Well, what happened between you two?" I asked, writing everything down on the laptop.

"Have you ever read Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina, Xia?" Hongseok asked, changing the topic all of a sudden. "That story is actually quite similar to the one that happened to me."

"... I have, but I don't really see the resemblance so far. I mean, Anna Karenina did fall in love with a soldier, that's true. But she was an already-married woman, and when she couldn't stand the pressure of living such a life anymore, she killed herself. Are you saying that–"

"The girl I loved was actually married, yes. She kept it as a secret at first because she was scared, but she confessed the truth to me later. Honestly, I couldn't blame her, because her husband was actually a man who was supposed to be my enemy – he was the commander of the other army, the one my army was fighthing against. We tried our best to keep our relationship a secret, but he eventually found out, and he was furious at both of us. And, I know you are wondering why I choose Anna Karenina to compare my story to. Yes, there is another reason, the one that you've been to afraid to ask. The woman I loved did die. Was it a suicide? I don't think so. I think it was everyone's fault." Hongseok said with a sad tone in his voice.

"I– I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked." I said, shocked by what I just heard.

"What do you mean? You're writing my biography, Xia, of course that topic would come up eventually, so don't worry." He smiled slightly. "After all, it's not so bad, you know? Because, even though she died, she didn't really die. I don't know how to explain it, but I just... see her everywhere. And wherever I go, I always seem to find her..."

That's it, I thought. This man is crazy. It's not only the alcohol speaking, it's really him. He would've said something like that even if he wasn't drunk, I'm sure of that.

"... Hongseok, it's getting kind of late. I don't want to bother you anymore, we can continue this some other day." I said,  unconfidently shutting down my laptop.

A few moments of silence occured, but then Hongseok finally spoke.

"Yeah, you're probably right." He mumbled, finishing his glass. "You should go. I'll walk you to the door."

*

After a few more awkward moments, I was finally ready to leave, and I was quite happy because of that. I greeted Hongseok, still trying to act as normal as I could. But as soon as I stepped out of his house, I started walking towards the gate quickly.

I couldn't explain the wierd feeling that I felt. This whole conversation made me feel so uncomfortable for some reason. And not only that, but it also made me realise something important.

I thought that Seungyeon was only overreacting yesterday, but it turned out she was right.

Yang Hongseok definitely had a secret or two.