Chapter 4

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I lost my family on the night of Christmas Eve when I was fifteen years old. I was invited to give a recital in front of the whole town.

I remembered it was cold that night and it was snowing heavily. I was clutching my piano sheets tightly. My family are not here yet. Their designated seats are still empty. Something wasn't right that day. I couldn't explain the feeling. My heart was feeling heavy. It felt like something bad was going to happen.

I was about to start when Gemma received a call. She hurried towards the stage, the look on her face when she broke the news to me was still fresh in my mind. "Eleanor, we need to go now. Your family had an accident,"

After that, everything was in a flash. I remembered Gemma consoling me with her calming voice. I held her hand as we walked down the hospital hallway towards the surgery room. I couldn't think. I didn't allow myself to think.

Gemma spoke to the doctors, signed paperwork then she sat down with me when the police arrived. The twins, my five years old siblings wanted to get me flowers for my performance. So my dad and mum had to hurry to the floral shop. On their way to my recital with fresh flowers, a truck came out from nowhere, causing their car to swerve from the main road, flipped off the hills and it caught on fire.

The doctors came with a solemn look. The twins and my dad are gone. Only my mum survived. Mum went into shock, she had third degree burn on her left leg and she managed to get out before the car exploded.

My blood went cold.

My ears began to buzz.

People starting to fade.

That night, I lost my whole family. When my mum woke up, the emptiness in her eyes, broke my heart. Then I realized, I lost my mum too. Everything around me fell apart. I couldn't express myself well. I couldn't cry. I was numb.

After that day, I was in living hell. My mum refused to take her medication. My mum refused to speak. My mum refused to look at me. My mum isn't my mum. She tried to kill herself numerous time. I came back from school, finding her in a pool of blood. I came back from groceries shopping, finding her overdosed in her sleeping pills. I came back from work, finding her with a broken noose.

The house was eerily quiet. The twins are not running around screaming their lungs out. My dad is not cursing at every corner edges he walked into. There were no laughters, there were no love, it was empty.

I gave up on my mum. I was struggling with myself. Gemma helped. She brought my mum to the therapist, she brought my mum to the psychiatrist, she brought my mum to the church. Gemma was just there for us. I shut everyone out completely. I was in my own world and I didn't give a shit.

Until, Gemma sat me down and told me that she had make a progress with my mum. Gemma told me to be more patient with my mum because my mum have begin writing again.

That night, I cried myself to sleep, listening to the sound of typing.

My mum made very small progress from time to time. I will find her sitting at the dinner table with Gemma, listening to Gemma talking about anything everything. Her fingers will be scraping on the table, as if she's trying to type down whatever is in her mind.

I didn't know how to communicate with my mum. Gemma is usually the one starting the conversation. The earnings from my mum's book is enough for me to quit my job and focus on my studies. I found her card on the island table one day, and she tapped her fingers on it then she went back into her room.

When I checked the balance inside the card, it felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders. It was enough to pay for the house, it was enough to pay for my school fees, it was enough to pay for the bills.

It took years to be back on track again.

••••

I was soaking in S.Angel's lake with the Howards when someone hit me with the pool noodle. I turned to look at the culprit. "Back to earth, Eleanor!" Randall threw a pool noodle far away from me with a smirk.

I lifted myself up from the cooling lake, dressed in Karina's bikini. I saw Randall took a step back, eyes wandering around and gulped. 

I grabbed the nearest pool noodle and started whacking Randall. He was darting from Karina to Rick, laughing as he tried to avoid me. He pulled the noodle from me and I screamed, not wanting to get hit, I hid behind Rick.

I didn't see the scheming faces of both Randall and Rick. The next thing I know, I was being lifted up by the both of them and thrown into the lake.

"So cute, Howards," I tried to get back up but Rick tangled his legs around me, pulling me back to him. I felt his lips on my shoulder. It felt so natural and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Until, I saw the look on Randall's face before he stomped off.

It was a mixture of jealously and hurt.

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