Beast

Chapter 14

With this new slew of information, Elise found herself feeling rather less scared than she had. Her automatic response - even after over 2 months of safety and comfort in this house, and nearly two years with Agnes - was still fear. She didn't seem able to control it, though the comfort she felt in this house was helping her more than any amount of years would have with poor Agnes. She could see how Rowan had given her all of the gritty details, though unwillingly, to help her get a better understanding of what it meant to actually be close to Alexander. He was so busy pushing everyone away he could not see that they wanted to be there, beside him. She could see now the true devotion the staff had for their master. The truth behind the fact that they worked and lived here, and were probably rejected elsewhere was not lost on her. They loved him, and in his blind self-hatred he was ignoring all the evidence of it. She knew he loved them too, in his odd way, which was why he was keeping all but the most persistent of them at bay. With these thoughts swimming through her mind she began exploring the house once more, hoping to catch a glimpse of Alex and know he was alright. She weaved silently past a plethora of shut up rooms, looking into a few. She had looked around before now, though she had only really explored the East wing and the gardens. She trotted up a staircase and down another, swept through a picture gallery and around an internal courtyard and found herself facing the staircase and corridor of the West wing.

She dithered at the top of the stairs for several minutes just staring into the darkened corridor, wondering if he would have come back to the place he found sanctuary before. She decided there would be nothing else for her to do, it was much too cold to go outside tonight. With this in mind she made a slow perusal of the available rooms, pausing about half way down the corridor as she heard the thin notes of Haydn's Creation thrumming through the quiet space. Elise halted and tilted her head as a quietly played a variation of Beethoven's Concerto no. 2 began with only the tiniest pause. Elise found herself gravitating down towards the quiet siren song. She was an accomplished pianist, or rather she had been, but this was a simply magnificent display of skill she couldn't even comprehend. She settled herself in front of the closed door, not willing to stop the gorgeous renditions by her interruption. She was not sure how long she sat there listening to the variety of playing, everything from Weber to Hummel - even pieces amended to be played on the pianoforte as solos. Pieces that were so complex and varied she knew she was listening to an absolute prodigy, it was blissful and stunning. Her mind reeled when she thought of how hard it must be to play such tripping pieces with one hand set incorrectly, yet as she listened harder to the quiet concert she could find no fault with the lilting cadence of the notes. Tears filled her eyes at the haunting sadness of some songs, her heart stopped at the sheer beauty of others, yet more sent a smile skittering across her face.

He seemed to be having a full conversation with himself using the pieces of music he seemed to select at random to denote the many different elements of this conversation. All at once she had the sudden urge to flee, she was listening to something far too private and it scared her. She now knew why the piano she had discovered in the library had been so artlessly hidden - he did not want to be tempted to allow anyone else to see this part of him. This is his escape, the thought struck her like a lightening bolt, this is how he makes sense of everything. No one must know about this - this is his and his alone and I am intruding... her thought was cut off by the door opening. Alex's huge hooded form was silhouetted in the door frame, he seemed to watch her for a seconds then turned and walked back into the room leaving the door gaping after him.

Elise stood silently and followed him into the music room, the weak light of the two candles on the far side of the room barely lit her way, giving the room an ethereal otherworldly appearance. The sharp contrast of dark and weak light, combined with the large hulking figure of Alexander in front of the diminutive pianoforte made this room seem like it was out of step with the rest of the grand household. Like it had been frozen in a different time, left and unappreciated by all but one occupant of this odd household. She tried to take in the quiet comfort of this room, but found removing her eyes from the robed giant almost impossible. Quite without knowing it she found that she had walked to his back, placed her hand in the middle of his broad shoulders and had leaned against his left side.

"That was beautiful." Elise whispered into the side of the silk hood. "You're amazing Alexander."

A strange huffing snort was her only response and she found herself curling around his back and side to bring him into a hug. Her neck supported the back of his head, her chin nestling in the gap between his shoulder and chin - though she only knew this by feel, as her face was burrowing into the side of the cavernous hood that hid Alex away from the world. She felt him tense, and heard him stop mid-breath. She kept her position though, the silence stretched for at least a full minute before she finally heard his ragged intake of breath. She nuzzled further into his neck, basking in the mint scent that always surrounded him, sighing happily.

"Truly, Alexander, you're marvellous." Elise continued, tilting her head slightly to place a kiss on his hood covered jaw. "I am not even going to ask how you knew I was there, thank you for inviting me in though - I was getting rather chilled and stiff sitting on the floor." With this said she squeezed onto the seat next to him, forcing him to move over a little. She then settled her fingers onto the keys and began a hauntingly deep rendition of Fantasia. It sounded jarring and offbeat, played as it was in entirely the wrong octave - though Elise smiled as her fingers skirted across the keys. She shot little glances at the man next to her, keeping her little grin in place to coax him to join in or stop her from massacring this piece. Eventually Alex relaxed and joined in, in the correct octave and the music continued in a jarring symphony. At length the music faded and Elise felt herself lean into his side, she wanted to be close to him and didn't know how he would take what she had to say next.

"I- I found the p- piano.... Hidden away in the library...." She felt him turn his face towards her. "I have... Well, I- I have been playing it.... Quietly." She took a deep breath. "I... I uh- I tuned it.... Well, I t- tried to tune it. I am sorry, I know I should have asked... It- It just seemed to be forgotten in the corner of the library.... I didn't think anyone would mind." Elise paused and frowned. "Actually, th- that's not the truth... I didn't tell anyone because I- I knew it would probably not b- be alright. I didn't want to have it taken away from me...."

Silence met her declaration. She felt herself shrinking under the weight of that silence. It spoke volumes. She had annoyed him, she had intruded into something she should not have, and now he could not even bear to berate her because of it. He was still as a statue, his head slightly tilted towards her, and she had the sudden inexorable urge to flee. She did not want him to shake himself out of her stupor and actually voice his disgust.

With this cloying need to be elsewhere spurring her into movement she rose and walked stiffly towards the door. "I shall leave you to it, Your Grace... I am terribly sorry." She then fled down the corridor and did not stop her hasty retreat until she skidded into the kitchen. She was not sure when her hurried footsteps had turned into a quite unladylike sprint, but such was her blind panic she doubted she could even tell what corridors she had used.