Part 3: Chapter 34 (Present Day 1986)

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I can hear talking, but it sounds do far away. I slowly open my eyes and groan at the painful light. "She's coming to," someone says. I close my eyes and wish myself dead. I know everything now. My heart is breaking all over again. Lucas is gone. My heart. My breath. My reason for living. He's gone. He's dead. Loud sobs tear through me. My eyes are closed. I can't open them. I can't look at the people who love me knowing it's my fault. All of this is my fault. I think about Eric and my sobs get louder. I killed his brother. I feel a stab in my arm and fall back into the darkness.

I open my eyes and look wildly around me. I'm alone. I rip out the needle in my arm and attempt to stand. I collapse to the ground. My legs are like rubber. I need to get out of here. I lie on the cold floor willing my legs to work. My mom rushes in along with several other people. They scoop me up and put me back into the bed. The nurse grabs my arm. I pull away screaming. "I have to go. I have to go. Please, I have to go," I cry out. I try to get out of bed, but strong arms hold me down. My mom is watching. Tears streaming down her face. "I have to go to him," I say as a quick jab to my arm distracts me. "Go to who," my mom asks me. "To Lucas," I whisper as I lose consciousness. 

I feel strong arms around me. I breathe and smile. It's Lucas. He's holding me. I've missed the smell of him. I snuggle closer. "I've missed you," I whisper. "Where have you been." He pulls back and smiles at me. "Watching," he simply says. I grin and pull his lips to mine. I moan. "I need you Lucas," I tell him. "I need to feel you. I can't live another second without being close to you. It's been so long." He smiles sadly at me. "We can't Destiny. You're not mine anymore." I tilt my head in confusion. "You belong with Ricky. We can't be together." I shake my head no. "But I want to be with you Lucas. I waited so long. I've been dead inside. I need you to feel alive."

He takes my hand. "I'm gone Destiny. Ricky is here. He loves you. You need to move on with him. He makes you happy." I shake my head no. "You make me happy Lucas. Only you," I tell him putting his hand to my rapidly beating heart. "If I could change things I would. But I can't. I'm gone. If I had to pick someone to be with you, it would be Ricky. He's a good person and he truly loves you." I start to cry. "He'll never forgive me when he learns the truth." Lucas gently cups my face. He looks into my eyes. "What truth," he asks me. "That it's my fault your dead. That I've always known the truth. They went all this time not knowing where you were or what happened to you. It's all my fault Lucas."

He wipes my tears. "It's not your fault Destiny. It just happened. Neither one of us could have predicted this." "I should have gone to the police. I should have told them where you were. I'm an awful person Lucas. No wonder I went crazy. I should have died when Seth tried to kill me. I should be with you." He pulls me to him. He hugs me so tight I think he may crush the life out of me. "Don't ever say that Destiny. I'm grateful you didn't kill yourself. Seth was beyond crazy. If you had gone to the police who knows what would have happened. He tried to kill you even after you didn't go to the police." I watch as his face turns emotional and he says "I'm so grateful he didn't kill you. I want you to live to be an old wrinkled lady. I want you to live for both of us." He holds me for a long time.

When he finally speaks, he says "It was me a Destiny. I made sure Ricky saw you in my shirt. I pushed that kid into you. Knocking the books to the ground. I wanted Ricky to see my shirt on you." I pull away and look at him. "What." "I made sure Ricky saw you wearing my shirt. I knew he would see the white paint spot and realize it was my shirt. I didn't know what would happen after that. I just wanted you to get better. I thought if you remembered that maybe you would. That you would stop hurting yourself. But as I watched you and Ricky grow close, I realized how good the two of you were for each other. I rooted for the two of you to be together Destiny. I can't be with you. You and Ricky are right for each other."

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