Destiny Destroyed

Chapter 19 (1981)

The next day Lucas and I paint, I steal glances at him. "What's up," he finally says after twenty minutes of no talking and me peaking at him. "What do you mean what's up," I ask playing innocent. I'm hopeing he didn't notice me looking at him. "You keep looking over at me. Do I have paint on my face or in my hair," he asks? I am so busted. "Um. No. I just." The door opens saving me from having to finish the sentence. Mrs. Beatty comes over and hands me a key. "Here you go Destiny. Be sure to lock up when you leave. I don't want anyone else in the room with you alright," she says sternly. "Oh. Um. Alright. Thanks," I say as she looks over what Lucas is painting. "Good work Lucas," she tells him before leaving.

Thankfully Lucas doesn't mention me looking at him earlier. We both paint in silence. When the bell rings I seal my paint cans, gather my brushes and stand. I turn to see Lucas heading my way. "I'll clean those for you," he says reaching out to take my brushes. His hand brushes mine sending a jolt of electricity through my body. I look at him. He's looking back at me. I wonder if he feels it too. I notice he's not much taller than me. Maybe three inches.

"Thanks for the other day," I blurt out. I mean I had to say something after awkwardly staring at him. I feel my face heat up in a nasty blush. Damn. "Are you feeling better," he asks me. I can hear real concern in his voice. "I am. I think I had a touch of something." He nods and turns. Then he turns back to me. "I was worried maybe you were pregnant," he says. I nearly choke on my spit. "What," I say stunned when I am finally able to talk. "I mean.... Well you're not are you," he asks. I look at him. He looks as though he's holding his breath. "Of course not. I haven't even had sex with Seth," I blurt out before I can stop myself. He releases his breath. I cover my mouth in horror over what I just said. "I got to go," I say turning and hurrying out the door.

Seth is not waiting for me outside the door today. I walk through the halls replaying the conversation I just had with Lucas. What the hell was that about. How dare he ask me something like that. I should have slapped him. What right does he have? Who does he think he is? Then I think about my answer and want to slap myself. Why the hell did I tell him we hadn't had sex. If that gets around school, Seth will kill me. Everyone thinks we are doing it. It was the only way Seth would wait for me to be ready. I think back to the conversation we had over a year ago.

"Come on babe. We love each other. That's what matters. I'm going to marry you," he says with that cute grin of his. I can't help but smile back. "I know Seth, but I'm just not ready. I know we've been together a long time, but I'm only fifteen. I want to wait until I'm older. Besides we have all the time in the world," I say taking his hand in mine. I bring his hand to my lips and kiss the back of it. "I love you so much Destiny. I just want us to be as close as we can." I look into his beautiful brown eyes and sigh. He can be so romantic. "I just need more time. Please," I say in my most charming voice. He is thoughtful for a moment. "I will wait for you to be ready if you let me tell my friends we've already had sex," he says with an eyebrow raised.

At first, I think he is joking. Then I realize he is serious. "I don't know Seth. What if it gets back to my mom and dad? Then I won't even be allowed to see you anymore." He softly kisses my lips. "I'll only tell a couple of my friends. I promise Destiny. I won't trash your reputation. Besides, they all think we've done it anyway. How about next time they say something about it I just don't correct them. We'll let them think what they want. I won't deny or confirm." I think about it for a minute. Finally, I give in and say "alright." This makes him happy. I can't help but think how different guys are from girls. And that is how I lost my virginity. It was all just mentioned and never corrected. Sometimes it bothered me, but it didn't really matter what anyone else thought. Seth and I were considered one of the perfect couples at our school. Some envied us. Others wanted to be us. We had it all as far as a couple in everyone's eyes.