The Perfect Imperfection(#Wattys2015)

Chapter#18

I stared amazed at him. When I had bumped into him, momentarily his hands touched my waist and belly. I felt uneasy at his touch so I had jerked away at that very instant. He still had the cast and the bandage on his nose had reduced to a smaller size. Perhaps he was recovering and iwas glad that he was.

He didn't say a word but just gazed at me with such with intimidating and hateful look. He was so unpredictable. The exact word that fits the definition of Shane Alstaire Qastial.

Without saying a word I put the menu card on the table next to me and walked past Shane. He stood firm and erect the whole time.

My heart was beating fast and I started to tremble. It was an adrenal rushthat he always gives me. No matter what his expressions are towards me, there is always an adrenal rush.

I walked to my car and unlocked the door.

"You, listen!" Shane shouted from the back as I glanced back to look at him in responding.

"Listen, don't think that you can send your hounds at my house and make them do anything you want allright? It's not my fault that you got your little crush on me and now you want to be with me." Shane sneered walking towards me as he stressed on his words.

I blinked and for the first time I rolled my eyes at him in disgust and let out the words.

"Shane, I don't have time for you and I didn't send anyone at your place. But why am I saying these things to you, does it even make a difference Mr. Shane Alstaire Qastial? No it doesn't, at least to you." I said confidently as I nodded and swung open the car door turning away from him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, huh! First youcreate the mess and then you don't even want someone saying something about it." He grasped my arm amd turned me around to face him.

His face was just inches apart from mine and I felt the fog rise when he took a breath.

"I think you didn't hear me, I don't have time for you." I said as ipulled back my arm from his hold. "And yes the next time, you don't say anything to my friends. I hope you're intelligent enough to understand that, Shane." I said with confidence but tears startedto threat my eyes.

He stood still and when I sat in my car he held the door and said something I hadn't expected from him at that moment.

"You're not the same girl I knew Rachel." He said with a milder tone but with disgust and freed the door from his grip.

"And you're not the same guy I thought I knew, Shane." I said as shrugging with disappointment and hurt on my face.

His expressions turn into shock as his eyes grew wider from my response.

Closing the door I drove off and saw him in the rear view mirror standing still on the road where I left him. I left him.

I didn't cry but somehow I felt good saying the words to him in person. Maybe I just wanted to clear it to him that I didn't send my friends to beat him up because I still......cared. But still giving him clues that I loved him wouldn't change a thing.

I came back to my apartment. It was a bad idea to go out, but if I knew that I'd encounter with Shane I would have never gone.

But somewhere deep inside it felt so good to see him in person because I haven't seen him in so long. A thought clouded my mind: forget Shane because he's not the right guy. He is never even going to accept the baby because. . . . he's never going to accept you.

The words echoed in my head and this made me feel so worthless, weak, dependent and small. This is how I felt when my dad beat my mom with the belt and I couldn't do anything. Anything at all. I never wanted to feel that way, ever. It was the worst feeling that a person can experience. This thought accumulated my mind and after a few minutes I felt more determined and confident.