Love, Hope.

"See you soon"

Hope, what an irony!

I woke up in my room after i blacked out in the hospital, it's been two days since then. Two days of absolute blur. I don't know what's going on around me, it's like i've been forced to live inside someone else's body or forced to live at all.

I visited Austin's house this morning to see his face, i couldn't even let a tear out when i saw his face, i froze. My mind hasn't been functioning since the moment i lost him. Mrs.Jones and Mr. Jones were completely broken. I could imagine what they were going through. They decided to hold the funeral 5 days from now, exactly a week after his death.

i don't think he's really gone! Is he?

No... this has to be a nightmare.

Then why does it feel so real? Why is it not over yet? It's been going on for too long. It is true then... He is gone... He left.

And it's all my fault. He would be fine if i didn't call him. I should be the one dead right now, not him. He deserved to have a good life, with or without me. My dad deserves a better life. Everyone important in my life faces a tragedy and i won't let that happen to my father anymore.

But ... i must do one thing right now.

Austin's eulogy. It's more like a letter. The things that has been going on in my head. The things i wanna say to him. I don't have to say the world how he made me feel or how special our bond was. It's for us both to cherish and hold on to. It's for us to feel and experience. It's special to us and will always be.

I take a paper and a pen and start framing my thoughts into words.

"Dear Austin,

                     I've been waiting for you to come home and pull me into your arms and tell me you're here, you are back and the nightmare's over. Will you come? Or am i asking for too much? I thought my love was stronger than this, I love you with all my heart ... but then why wasn't it enough to keep you from leaving or was your promises to stay with me too weak? Or maybe i was too happy, so God decided to show me that happiness is just momentary and i will never have control over it. Maybe it was because I'm a bad omen in people's lives and i don't deserve good things. What a worthless world it is, without you in it. What's the point of such a world!

I don't know what it was that took you away from me but i promise you, wherever you are, i shall be there. Home is where you are, always. I don't think you're gone, you're just lost. And soon enough i'll find you , hold your hand and guide you back to light.

This is not a goodbye Austin.

I love you.

See you soon.

                                               Love, Hope."

I put the letter in a bottle with a rose plucked from my garden. I call my dad and ask him to take the bottle to the river and let it float. He was a bit hesitant but i'm not a very demanding person so he agreed eventually. I give him a long hug and tell him how much i love him. He seemed confused but he smiled. That smile is what i wanted to see. He said he will be back in 20 minutes and then we can do an activity i like. He is trying to help. But i wish i could say this to him, that it's too late.

After he leaves, a tear finally escapes from my eyes.

I'll miss you Dad.

I slip on an old dress and go into the bathroom. I get in the bathtub and fill it up with water and just sit there for couple of minutes , staring into space. Absolutely blank. I slowly start submerging into the water. As i grasp for breath, i get a flashback of all beautiful moments i had spent in this lifetime....

and then everything goes blank...

*Hope's body was later discovered by her father when he returned home. She drowned to death in the bathtub. It was too late to save her.Her body was submerged in water and her pulse was gone.

Five days later her funeral was held along with Austin's in the same venue. There graves were made next to each other as a tribute to their eternal love.

~The End~

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