Who wants flowers when you're dead? nobody

15. text

This story wont be long

Oli's pov

I don't know how to bring it up, he just seems so.. okay. Right now he's playing sonic and sitting in my lap. It's like last night didn't happen.

It's only been a week and.. I love him. I do, I love everything about him. I probably loved him even when he was just texting me from across the world. After he drowns he turns around pouting. "Oli, why do I suck?" He whines referring to the dozens of times he's died. However I smirk thinking about how I could respond with something dirty.

But instead I grab his face lightly. "You dont, the game is just hard," I reassure him. He just seems to innocent to tease like that sometimes. Sometimes he says something very vulgar and it takes me off guard but I feel like he should be treated like a kid right now because he grew up to fast.

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" I ask and he looks shocked and surprised. I've wanted to ask him out but not make a big deal out of it. He blushes and smiles shyly.

"Yeah? But.. I uh.. still don't think I'm ready for sex if that's what your motive is," he mumbles nervously.

"I think you think about us having sex than me love. Relax a bit, like I've said before we aren't going to do anything unless we both are ready. I'm not really even ready for a sexual relationship right now," I tell the truth. It's a bit embarrassing but I'm so desperate that I have no sex-drive. He's hot and has actually gave me a boner my wiggling around on my lap either during sleep or as he's playing sonic.

He smiles a little and hugs me. "I really am glad I came here with you. Its strange not being forced to do things. And I don't even have any bruises," he says in a happy tone but I makes me sad. I don't know what happened in his past relationship except bits and pieces but I know it was really bad.

"I want to talk about last night.." I bring it up finally and he looks guilty.

"Over text? My voice doesn't like talking about that.." he whispers scared.

"Yeah, as long as you answer my questions and no lying," I say and he nods and gets his phone and sits on a different couch. I pull out my phone and start texting.

Oli: are you feeling better now?

Kellin: a little, I'm happy you are my boyfriend c:

Oli: why did you cut and not talk to me instead?

Kellin: the same reason you still shoot up and not talk about it

Oli: I didn't think you realized..

Kellin: yeah ik but I understand that what I say doesn't matter. You stopping is up to you just like me stopping will be up to me

Oli: do you plan on stopping?

Kellin: yeah, it's just hard to

Oli: why did you start

Kellin: you want the full story that will take forever to write or a short simple one?

Oli: the long one, I'll make food for us as you type

"Grilled cheese?" He asks looking up from his phone.

"Is that what you want?" I ask as I get up leaving my phone on the coffee table. He nods a little and walk to the kitchen.

"One or two?" I ask.

"One please," he answers and I start cooking.

-

Kellin: I started when I was 13 because both of my parents were alcoholics and would hit each other and me if I was in the way. Cutting wasn't enough to stop the pain after two years and I tried to kill myself. It obviously didn't work but my parents were so upset at me I got kicked out (you asked one question but I guess I'm just going to tell you everything) I lived on the streets for a few months starving and resorting to stealing from people to get food. After realizing that I was going to stay like this forever because I was to young to get a job and my parents didn't want me I knew I needed to kill myself. I was 15 but already knew I could never live a normal life.

This part is going to expose me of lying to you but I'm tired of keeping secrets..

I tried to kill myself by running into the road and getting hit but the driver stopped before hitting me. The driver was Vic, and he took me in. You kinda know this part of the story except our ages, I was 15 when I lost my virginity to 31 year old vic.. it lasted a year and that brings us to the truth. I'm 16, and I cant bare the fact that I lied to you. That's one reason I cut last night. I also cut because I'm just that pathetic and I'm addicted to the pain.

Thank you for taking me here and taking care of me. I'm sorry I lied. If you hate me that's okay.. I'll just go back to Vic bc I'm not going to live on the streets again.

I look at kellin after reading it and hes looking guilty as he eats his grilled cheese sandwich. "I'm not mad.. just surprised.." I say and look it over again. Kellin is only 16, he's a minor. Vic raped him even if he gave consent.

I see why he lied, it's not good to lie but he was scared and just trying to save himself from being rejected from me. "Do you still want to be my boyfriend?" He asks sadly.

"Yes, but.. we aren't having sex until you're at least 17," I say and he smiles.

"Thank you," he says and I start eating my grilled cheese sandwich thinking about all of that. He tried to kill himself when he was 15.. that's sad. Suicide is sad in general but I feel like he never had a childhood.

Thoughts

Bro I just got my phone back and humph I'm upset. I went to my room at 8 and hhhhh I was going to eat bc I only ate something small in the afternoon and then I was to stubborn to come out and eat and now it's to late to eaatttt hhhhhhhhhhh