To The World I Close My Eyes To See | chanlix

Chapter Sixteen

The first thing Chan had noticed when Felix materialised in his room that night were the dried tears on his cheeks and his puffy eyes, even puffier than they were when he was usually woken up from his deep sleep.

"Hey," Chan quickly got up from his bed, making his way to Felix. "What's going on?" he asked, his hand coming to rest on the side of Felix's neck.

Felix looked miserable and like he had cried for hours before his soul woke up together with Chan's. With worry written all over his face, Chan realised that Felix had probably even fallen asleep crying considering the state he was in.

"Chris," Felix said as if he had just snapped out of a trance. He hid his face in his hands, quickly drying his eyes to prevent the older from seeing how swollen they were. "It's nothing, I'm okay," he lied through his teeth.

Chan stayed quiet, simply looking at him while his fingers were caressing the skin of his neck. Felix sighed, giving in, "Just a bad day, I guess."

Standing in front of Chan, Felix looked like a kicked puppy. His head was cast down while his voice sounded the weakest Chan had ever heard it, his eyes were still bloodshot and puffy. All Chan wanted to do was hug him tightly and tell him everything was going to be alright, no matter how bad things looked.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Chan asked softly, not wanting to sound nosy or make Felix think he was pushing him in any way. If Felix wanted to talk then he was more than willing to listen, otherwise, he was fine with just being there for him.

"Can you..." Felix started sounding unsure. "Can you just hold me for a little while?" he asked shyly as if there was any possibility of Chan refusing that.

Despite still being concerned for Felix, Chan could still feel his heart skipping a beat at the idea of getting to hold him close. He didn't trust his voice to speak, so he gently took Felix's hand in his and with a reassuring smile, he pulled the younger towards the bed where both of them set.

Chan moved so his back could lean on the headboard of the bed and Felix quickly lied down next to him, with his head pillowed on Chan's chest. Chan didn't hesitate a second to wrap an arm around Felix's shoulders to bring him closer, the boy contently hiding his face in Chan's neck, just over the soulmate mark.

Chan hoped Felix couldn't hear his heart going crazy in his chest.

On reflex, Chan started to card his fingers through Felix's hair, gently caressing his scalp and Felix melted in the embrace, his muscles relaxing completely against Chan's body. It was after a couple of minutes of blissful silence that Felix finally talked.

"My mum was really down today and I just hate seeing her like that," Felix finally confessed. His voice was as weak as it was before, maybe even more, and Chan couldn't help wrapping his arms more tightly around the small body. His heart broke at the sadness in Felix's voice.

"I feel like I should do something for her but I don't know what to do. My sisters love her too but they're always so busy and I don't think they always notice," Felix let everything out, finally letting his worries run free.

As much as Chan wanted to comfort Felix, he felt like the boy didn't need any fake reassuring, all he needed was someone there for him, someone who could offer a shoulder to cry on. He opted for leaving small kisses on the top of Felix's head, still massaging his scalp while their fingers played on his stomach.

"And I've got my own worries too but when she feels so down, I feel selfish to even mention them in a conversation," Felix finished, his voice now nothing more than a whisper as Chan listened carefully to every word he was saying. Despite the worry and the sadness of seeing Felix's smile replaced by tears, Chan's heart warmed up just that tiny bit at the realisation that Felix trusted him enough to share with him with his concerns.