Sami's Kisses

Eight

Two words to describe me perfectly on this Thursday would be tired and sick.

Last night had been hopelessly sleepless, making me exhausted.

The nightmares are what have me feeling upset to my stomach.

Back when I was younger, I would get nightmares all the time. Always the same, and just as frightening the fiftieth time as they were the first. In the middle of the night, I would wake up panting, but a soothing voice was always there to calm me down.

"It's okay, Sam Bam. You're alright," It would say. It was the voice of my brother. When I was still small, he seemed so old. He was about seven years older, making him a hero in my eyes. "Was it the same one?" He would ask, to which I would knob and rub my then tearful eyes. He would smile warmly, "Don't worry, I'm here Sam. I'll protect you."

The thing is now, though, that he is not. And when the nightmares return, I have to console myself alone in the dark of the night. It's not the darkness that scares me, it is the fact that I am so terribly alone and there is nothing I can do to fix it.

It makes me miss Caleb.

They come in phases -- the nightmares do. I can't really say what makes them come around, but they tend to come and go at irregular times. I guess now was one of these days.

Coming downstairs from my small complex above the coffee shop, I enter the kitchen since that is where the door opens to. Then, I can either walk through the kitchen or take the back door out. Usually I go through the kitchen so I can give a quick holler to Jenny, and she usually makes me grab a scone or muffin on my way out so that tends to make it well worth it.

This morning, however, was different. Jenny took one look at me and scurried off, coming back with a warm togo cup.

"What's in this?"

"Caffeine," she curtly replied.

"Jenny, I'm really not a fan of coffee," I told her for the umpteenth time. I don't like anything that has addictive qualities, and coffee just screams addiction to me.

She shook me off, "It doesn't taste anything like coffee. Besides, you look like you could keel over any second now. Trust me, you're going to need it to get through the day." I gave her a look of skepticism. After all, it wasn't so much the taste of coffee but rather the addiction aspect that frightened me.

Sighing, I gave in and took a sip. Though I wasn't fond of the taste, I realized Jenny was right and I desperately would need the energy today. "Thanks Jenny, it isn't so horrible."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Just get your booty to school, missy! Soak up your free education while it lasts!" I laughed and hustled out the door, pulling my hood over my head to shield myself from the rain.

Jenny's drink, soon to be called The Miracle, worked wonders on my energy. There was still black circles under my eyes, but the blood in my veins was actually pumping at a reasonable pace and I felt more alert. The first three periods went wonderfully, and for what felt like the first time in ages I was actually absorbing the information.

Then, the dreaded fourth period hit, and the struggle to stay awake was immensely strong as my caffeine wave crashed. I followed along with the lecture mainly just so I had something to do by writing down the PowerPoint slides in my notebook. Hoping writing would make my brain somehow stay awake proved to be an incorrect hypothesis. My brain was so delayed that I was almost a minute later than my classmates leaving the classroom.

"Late night, Miss Spark?" Mr. Portman called from behind his papers, his eyes hardly peaking over the pages.

Hiding my grudgery, I approached his desk trying to look as innocent as possible. "What do you mean?"