I sat in the front seat of Jase's car, looking out the passenger side window waiting for him to get in and start with some heart warming speech he probably thought up from the restaurant to the car. the drivers door opened and the cool night air hit my face, it took all i had in me to not turn my head and watch Jason as he slid in. Jase's mouth opened, i expected for his little speech to start, instead he just closed it and started the car. The silence was getting awkwardly unbearable, i switched on the radio to try and fill the air with something other then whatever was going on in Jason's mind.
"I'm sorry" It slipped out of my mouth without me even realizing it was on the tip of my tongue. I hoped that I wouldn't regret letting it out.
"What for?" Jase eyes didn't leave the road, i had a feeling that he didn't want to look at me. I was kinda of glad that he was starting to have this feeling towards me, of course it's going to kill me having Jase ignore me but i know it's the best thing that could happen in this situation.
"I don't know-" i risked a side way glance at him "-not being able to give you what you want, not being able to make you happy" i wanted to continue with all the reason i had listed in my head but i knew that if i did i would slip out the true reason I'm sorry.........I feel like i cant act on my real feelings and emotions because I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt again.
Once again Jase let out a frustrated sigh, but he surprised me when he didn't reply. Leaving me sitting there feeling like im and idiot.
Finally we arrived home, well Jason's home i should say.
I remember the first time i realized I lov......liked Jason. I was upset crying about some boy. Actually i was crying about Noah, my then boyfriend, we had been going out since we were 14. Every one could it "puppy love" and "young romance" but to me it was still Love and romance, at the time i thought it was going to last for ever. Stupid, I know. Anyway dad was out, i think he had a date or something and i was at Jason's house when i got the txt ' we're moving towns, i dnt thnk me & u cn do this. im sry.' I stayed up crying the whole night, he couldn't even ring me. I felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest but Jason stayed with me the whole night, comforting me telling me i was more then he could ever get. I fell asleep in his arms on the couch, when i woke up in the morning he was still there with me, for the first time in a long time i felt safe.
"Tara-" Jase's hand waved in front of my face "-are you alright?" I shook my head not allowing the water that gathered in them to get any further. No more tears.
"yeah, sorry just day dreaming" i let out a little nervous laugh. Jason just eyed me up, i knew he didnt buy into my lie and i was glad when he dicided not to push it anymore.
"like always" Jason gestured for me to go inside first. "i know for a fact that your dad would never in one million years would ever be able to hate you"
"im not willing to take that risk though and im also not willing to risk your relationship with my father" it was the truth, there was not even one tiny lie in what i had just said. for the first time i felt like i wasn't lying to him.
"don't worry about our friendship, trust me Tara i've known your dad for a long time and i know he wont be able to stay angry at me for to long. I mean I'm the most awesome friend he has" Jase then proceeded to pretend to shrug dirt off his shoulder. i giggled, i actually giggled. Maybe being with Jason wont be as difficult as i thought.
"That's defiantly true" i said with a whole fist full of sarcasm, still laughing. i felt good, to be able to laugh with him and let myself be happy just for those few minutes.
"You are the most beautiful girl i know Tara, please just let me make you happy" he pulled me in to a hug, i was tired of always denying him so i didnt fight it off, i don't know if this was a bright idea but to be honest i could care less.
I fell in to his embrace, my body felt perfect against his. I breathed in his sent, he smelled so good. we stood like this for longer then i intended.
"I'm scared Jase" my walls were coming down, brick by brick and i had no idea if i want to stop and patch them back up or let them continue to fall.
"I know you are-" he kissed the top of my head "-but i swear to god you dont have to be. You dont have to be, I promise"
I felt safe in his arms, standing there in the hall way i realized that it was useless to fight these feelings. Maybe being with him was one of the best things that could be happening for me at the moment.
Where this may go? i have no idea but for the moment im willing to take the path into the unknown and pray it ends some where good.
chapter seven done and dusted! hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think and maybe where you want this relationship to go. lets get five VOTES for chapter eight?
READ/SHARE/VOTE AND WHATEVER ELSE IT IS YOU WANT TO DO :D
