Never in a Haste

Chapter 9

"Para kang baliw diyan," ani Brenna nang pumasok ito sa condo ko. She is on her usual training clothes so I guess she just went to the gym.

I looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Anong baliw?" I retorted before looking at the printed pictures right in front of me.

Ito ang mga litratong kuha sa Bali anim na buwan na ang nakakalipas. Pero kahit kalahating taon na ang nagdaan ay pakiramdam ko, parang kahapon lang ang lahat.

Brenna let out a deep sigh and sat beside me on the couch. "You're smiling while looking at those photos," she said. "And you do that all the time."

I scowled at her. "I don't do it every time," I defended.

Hindi naman ako laging nakatitig sa mga ito. May mga pagkakataon lang. Lalo na ngayon dahil magpupublish ulit ako ng isang travel book. I just looked back to the good days.

Brenna nodded but then she picked a photo of me and Yvo smiling widely. "Do you miss him?" she asked.

I shrugged.

Do I miss him? Maybe.

But I hadn't seen him since we parted ways from the airport and it's been six long months. I'm guessing he has someone else now. Hindi naman malabo. Guwapo siya at habulin ng mga babae. Mayaman pa. Malamang ay nakahanap na iyon ng papalit kay Maureen sa puso niya.

I don't blame him for disappearing like that though. I told him that I didn't want him to be my rebound. I don't want him to feel that I like him just because of his presence. That's the least thing I could do to someone—to make them feel used.

Brenna looked at me. "I saw him in a club last night," she started. I looked at her, interested. "He's with some of his friends, I think."

I nodded and felt a sudden relief when she said that he is with his friends, not with someone else.

Brenna gave me a knowing look. "What? You're dating Yuan, Avery," she said like it's going to become a rule for me.

Ngumiwi ako sa kanya. "I know," sagot ko.

"Pero rebound mo lang si Yuan, 'di ba?" tanong niya.

I hate it. I hate that even if I don't say it out loud, she knows. Yuan is a kind guy. I met him in a coffee shop three months ago and he seems nice. He loves coffee and cakes. Ang sabi niya ay gusto niyang magkaroon ng isang café balang araw.

He's not like the other guys that I had met. He has so many aspirations and he doesn't seem to be shy when verbalizing them. Marami siyang gustong gawin sa buhay at sobrang determinado niya para makamit ang mga iyon.

I guess that's what made me like him. But I don't want to think that he is my rebound. That's not the case. I just love his company because he reminds me so much of someone.

He reminds me so much of Yvo.

Tama pa ba ito?

"Kanino? Kay Anton o...kay Yvo?"

Napalingon ako sa pinsan kong ngayon ay parang sobrang interesado sa buhay ko. Mariin siyang nakatitig sa akin na para bang naghihintay ng isasagot ko sa kanya.

"Wala," is all I could say.

Humalakhak siya at ibinaba ang larawang hawak niya. Tiningnan ko iyon at inalala kung ano ang ginagawa namin kaya ganoon na lang kalaki ang aming mga ngiti.

"Anton asked for you last week," biglang sabi ni Brenna.

I gave her a look but she just shrugged.

When I got back, Anton tried to talk to me. He was always knocking on my door, begging me to talk to him. Muntik na nga siyang ipa-blotter ni Kuya dahil nasabi kong araw-araw siyang nagtutungo sa unit ko, umaasang magkakausap kami.