Shrinking

Chapter Nine

So Chapter 9 is finally up, sorry for the long wait. This is kind of just a filler chapter to explain everything and let things simmer down a bit. It's also to show you a little more of Peyton and Mia's relationship. :) It's much shorter than the past few chapters, I'm still not sure if you guys would rather me write longer ones or short ones. Anyways, let me know how you guys like it, and if you spot any errors please let me know! 

Peyton’s POV

Life is made up of beautiful things that turn ugly.

When I was seven, I used to go exploring near the small creek in my neighborhood’s park. It was my favorite place to go, I remember, because it was always alive. It was always breathing, flowing, splashing, no matter when you looked at it. It was impenetrable. I used to stick my feet in the water and squish my toes into the dirty brown sand, loving the cool breeze that tickled my ankles. The whooshing of the water used to remind me of heart beats. Heart beats kept a person alive, the water kept the creek flowing.

One day, I went running to the creek to sail a blue boat my father had given me. It was a flimsy boat and probably never would have sailed, but I wanted to test it out for real. It was cloudy and dull day, and when I reached the creek, it was guarded by a green plastic fence and yellow tape. There were many people standing around it, shaking their heads. I asked a woman with a child on her hip, “What happened to the creek?” She told me the water was contaminated, it was poisoned by our town’s facilities, chemicals and pesticides. I didn’t know what those words meant; they were just big words being spoken in a tone of disappointment.

All I knew was that my creek was gone. The water was dirty, no good. The heart was still beating, but there was no point in keeping it alive.

*** *** ***

It was a bleak Monday afternoon by the time I forced myself out of bed. Mia had been pestering me about what happened over the weekend constantly as if I was her biggest priority. I was being smothered. After Connor helped be back to my dorm room on Saturday morning, everything was fuzzy. I didn’t talk, not really, just laid on my bed with the blankets cocooning me. My thoughts were everywhere in my head, I couldn’t keep them straight. Sometimes it felt like I was forgetting something, but by the time I remembered, I forgot something new. I only left the dorm room to go to the bathroom. I haven’t even showered since Friday morning, as disgusting as that sounds. But something inside me was missing, I had no fight.

As for eating, I could stomach only pudding. I ate one cup of vanilla pudding yesterday and one this morning. Mia had gotten it for me from the cafeteria. All other foods made me want to hide; crawl or run so my stomach was safe. I felt empty, for the most part, but also a sense of accomplishment. I could feel myself becoming slimmer.

I woke up this morning to a dull throbbing in my knee. I was sore all over, my body tight, like I was wrapped in seaweed. Mia told me I didn’t have to go to class today if I didn’t feel up to it, which was a huge relief. Class meant seeing people. Seeing people meant Elijah. Seeing Elijah reliving everything I’ve been trying desperately to forget.

I know I’m overreacting. I don’t care.

How could I have been so naïve, so stupid? I was a clueless little girl walking around this campus, lost and unwarned. I fell for the cheeky grin, for the jade eyes, the charm and the manipulation. It was pathetic, nonetheless. Out here on my own, I was expected to take care of myself, wasn’t I? And yet, here I am, lying in bed on an October afternoon, listening to Mayday Parade on replay. I wanted to forget Elijah. I wanted to forget everything. Well, maybe not everything.

Connor had been amazing. I mean that in most simplest and innocent of ways. I think I now would consider him one of my best friends, next to Mia, in my life. But, god, the way my stomach flipped when his fingers circled my back.