***Peyton’s POV***
Saturday, November 13th
1 apple: 90
8oz orange juice: 39
11 almonds: 77
2 cups greek yogurt: 217
3 sticks gum: 15
Total: 438 calories
438 was a number that terrified me. Anything under 200, really, sent shivers to my toes. You’re going to look bloated, the voice told me, slithering around unwanted in my head. You’re going to look horrific.
horrific horrific horrific
No, I wanted to tell the voice. Connor told me never to feel self-conscious in front of him, and god, was I trying my best. But seeing the extra layers of fat sticking to me like leeches turned everything around. I hated the mirror – feared it, more like. It’s reflection showed a girl too chubby, too round, too short. My eyes were hollow, my hair thinner than it used to be, my skin dry and pasty. It was a miracle Connor could look at me. It was a miracle I could look at me.
I exhaled a shaky breath and slid down the slippery shower wall, droplets of hot water raining on me. I wished I didn’t have to meet Connor’s grandmother today. I was not a pleasant person to be around when I got like this – selfish and zipped up into myself, the voice on full blast. I could never stop shaking or sighing, my stomach continuously growling on cue. I was nothing but hormones I shouldn’t have.
As the topic of hormones flew through my head, I realized that I hadn’t gotten my period this month. It normally rolled around somewhere between the 1st and 4th. This is first time I’ve been late since I was 12 years old. A part of me, a very small part, for a moment thought that I was pregnant. I then remembered that I’d told Connor I wasn’t ready for sex when we first starting dating and that I was a virgin.
I walked back to my dorm room, wondering, a maroon towel wrapped around my shivering body. My hair dripped water onto the wood floor of the hallway as I padded along, thankful no one was around to see me. Inside of our room, Mia sat at her desk typing away on her laptop.
“Hey,” she said casually without turning around. After I had a bra and underwear on she began talking as she typed. “So I was thinking we could do some shopping today? I have, like, no fall clothes to wear.”
“Umm,” I said as rummaged through my closet for clothes. “I actually already have plans with Connor.” I pulled a light blue dress off of its hanger and slipped it over my head, the largeness of my thighs making me want to puke. “I’m meeting his grandma today.” Dresses were a rare occasion for me, but I thought the circumstances were good enough. I wished it were socially acceptable to dress fancy every day. Who came up with the whole casual-jeans thing anyway?
Abruptly, Mia sprung out of her swivel chair and rushed over to me. “Wait. You’re meeting his grandmother?”
“Yes?”
“Oh my god, Pey.”
“What?”
“Connor’s in love with you!” Mia screamed at me.
My eyes widened, the corners of my mouth quirking up against my will at just hearing the words. “I’m sorry, what?”
“He so loves you. Like, in love.” Mia stared at me, her mouth agape in a smile.
“He does not, shut up.” I paused. “He’s never said it before.”
“And have you?”
I thought about it. There were plenty of times where I had the words prepared, letting them rest on tongue until I had courage to spew them out. I just never have. I almost told Connor I loved him last week after he defended me in front of Elijah, but I got too caught up in the moment, if you know what I mean.
YOU ARE READING
Shrinking
Teen FictionPeyton Hill had grown used to her beautiful, sunny life in eastern Florida, where she lived for fifteen years. She was content and surrounded by those who loved her. However, when her parents decide to send her off to an elite boarding school in Mas...
