Twins of Tenby Hall

Chapter 16

I have immensely distressing news, but I received your letter just as I was sat down to write you so I will briefly respond to that before returning to my original missive. With sincerity and love I commend you for your waning affections towards Mr Kirkley, and for your determination to waylay your growing reputation as a flirt. I do not commend you for your decision to ignore your feelings towards our dear Matthew. Just as you shall beg gossip of Mr Dunsworth from me, I shall continue to beg gossip of Matthew from you.

Mr Dunsworth does not gaze at me at all, that I can tell; but to catch him gazing I must also gaze at him, and I am not about to expose myself by doing so. I can think of nothing that could be considered more than the care and attention one would give a friend. There was a moment, at the crush, we danced the waltz together. He held me much tighter than necessary (though not unpleasantly so in the least!) and close enough I could have rested my head on his chest if I wished to; but it was a crush after all, there was little room for dancing; and unlike he, all my other partners bumped and bounced against other dancers like anything. I hope Matthew will be at the crush with you, I would rest easier knowing he is there to fend off the wicked fray.

Now here is the news I was first taking up the pen to write you: I will not be joining you in London Em; do not be angry with me. Nay, I do not think you could be angry with me after reading this through. It is in regards to that Lord Miles. He persists in showing up at every ball, every outing, every party we attend (accept private functions he is not invited to of course). I do not know how he knows where we are at every moment of the day, it is as if he is watching the house! I could not respectfully refuse him every time he asked me to dance, which was nearly every one, but I avoided him as best I could. His hands are always clammy and he stares so intimately into my eyes that I could not bring myself to meet his gaze even out of politeness. His conversation is focused so strongly on his own fortune, generosity, and experience one would think he believes himself the only living creature on the planet; when he does open the conversation to me it is to ask increasingly intimate questions – my favorite flower, my favorite colour, my favorite places to eat and shop and walk, where I am going after Bath, what qualities do I look for in a man, how many maids dress me in the morning, and (the most recent which had me depart from him mid-waltz) if I prefer cotton or silk undergarments! Now here is the truly terrifying piece, I will account for you as best I can. Lord Miles approached Sicily and I at the pump rooms, just after lunch, two days ago, and asked if I would be about the Sydney Gardens at all that day. I wished to avoid him of course so I politely informed him we were planning on visiting the park that day, while our true plan was to browse the shops on Pulteney Bridge before ending our day at the baths. We had a wonderful time, I purchased a number of ribbons, gloves, parasols and gowns I cannot wait to show you. Yesterday we had luncheon out-of-doors and took in a show at the Theatre Royal, and last evening attended a large crush – the particulars of who and where are unimportant. I was standing by open doors that led to the small gardens outside, Sicily had just been asked to dance and was on the arm of her partner, walking away; it is in this moment someone clutched my arm and I was all but dragged out onto the lawn. It was done so suddenly that no one immediately noticed I had vanished.

I found myself in the shadows in the presence of Lord Miles; his hands digging uncomfortably into my upper arms and his face a vision of fury. 'you!' he all but spat at me 'you lied to me!'. I begged his pardon and demanded he unhand me but his grip tightened. He then went on a tirade; I had betrayed his trust, I had treated badly and used him ill; he had waited in Sydney Gardens all day for me apparently, only to find (do not ask me how he found) that I had instead visited the shops and baths. 'How could I wound him so' he begged, and 'why would I wish to tease him'. I had no answer, I was scared dumb, like a ninny; I declare I was as white as a sheet, and trembling like anything! His person then became sweet and endearing, his hands stopped bruising me and he began stroking my paralyzed frame as if he were trying to comfort me. 'there, there, darling' he simpered, (which was frankly more terrifying than the hissing and snarling) 'do not fear me, I would never hurt you dearest' and then in complete contradiction to his previous rant 'how could I have thought you malicious, look at your sweet face, so innocent and good, you no doubt were excited to shop with your friend and merely forgot our engagement. You will not forget again, I know it...' he said more but I do not remember it, I found my voice and demanded again (quite shakily I am loath to admit) that he unhand me, and that we had no engagement, and I had no intention of going out with him anywhere, ever. He did not take it well and began to tirade again saying yet more shocking things; 'Wicked, cruel woman. Have I not done enough for you? I would die for you. Etc.' to which I replied he was being ridiculous and I didn't care for anyone to die for me. Then he grew simpering again thinking I meant I cared for him, to which I replied I did not and would never, and he PULLED OUT A KNIFE! I screamed naturally. Lord Miles pushed me against the terrace brick and covered my mouth, placing the knife against his own throat saying he could not live without me and if I did not love him then his death would be on my hands. I admit I was relieved, for I was certain he was about to murder me! Nothing came of it however for he was apprehended by the elder Mr Dunsworth. Sicily's father appeared behind him and gripped Lord Miles' wrists before he could react. Once out of danger I am ashamed to say I fainted.

I am told Eugene caught and carried me, which sounds a romantic thing in stories but allow me to disappoint you, Em love, fainting from fear and having to be picked up and carried about when limp and dead to the world is far from romantic. As a member of the female sex I am ashamed to say I have fantasized about being in a terrifying situation and carried to safety by a lover a time or two...but I wasn't even awake for the only potentially pleasant part of the whole ordeal so I wouldn't recommend any such 'romantic' adventures to anyone. I shan't be able to read silly novels anymore; I shan't be able to relate to heroines enjoying captivity after experiencing it firsthand.

I am sorry for sending you so thick a letter. To explain why I shan't join you in London: Lord Miles escaped and disappeared like a snake in the grass. He has been marked a dangerous person and is being hunted with a price on his head; but his last words to me were 'you are mine and I will find you' said very passionately as though he thought I would be thrilled about this promise, so we know he will have an eye on me. I cannot go home for Lord Miles knows where I live. My plan to visit you in London is known to him. I must go somewhere he would not think of and hide until he is caught and locked in prison. I will write you once papa is informed and a plan is made. 

Matthew has been sent a letter. Stay close to him.

I miss you terribly Em! 

The most love,

Your Izzy