The Marriage Deal

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Greg Zachary's POV

"Have you ever experienced too much pain when someone hurts you so deeply? When all you did was to love that someone and all he did was to hurt you? That terrible pain you feel when the person you love loves someone else.

It's funny how things never really turn out the way you thought they would. You are doing your best to make the person fall in love with you even though you are aware that someone is in love with someone else. You are still taking a risk even though at the end, you will be the only who will suffer and will get hurt.

Your love for that someone is beyond measures even though you are always hoping and dreaming that someday will come and that person will love you back.

But what if that someday will never come? Surely, your world will be turned upside down.

And worst? That someone did something terrible to you to turn your love for him into hatred.

Can you really loathed the person you used to love? I bet, you can. Love is truly a mystery. One aspect of that mystery is how can go from loving someone so much to absolutely loathing their existence.

I loathed him so much.

So much... That it hurts.

And I don't even know why I am getting hurt of loathing him.

How do people around me can easily tell me to forgive nand forget? How can I do that?

All my life, all I did was to love him, and all I want is to be loved back.

But all I ever received was pain and his wrath.

I cannot get out from the darkness. This darkness that is full of horrible memories and unending pain. This darkness that can stop me from forgiving Zach.

That everytime I see Zach, it causes flashbacks of my painful memories because of him.

But, I want to be free. I want to let go and free myself and my heart from hatred.

And I just cannot do that as of now. I am not yet ready. Because until now, I can't stop myself from loathing him. Loathing him and Yza because of what they have done to me.

Do I really deserved everything that happened to me? It is like God let me suffer. I am not the type of person that you can see going to church and pray everyday. But I am not a bad person for Him to let me experienced too much pain.

And now, I am beyond repair. No one can ever fix me or heal all of my scars. It seems I will be forever here in this darkness. Trying to seek light for my children. Even just for them."

My heart breaks after I have read her entry. I am now in their room because I need to find something for Ezekiel's allergy. Seems my son got a seafood allergy like me. Arixsandra told me that she have to do something important and asked me if I am available to take care of my kids. So, I told her it is okay and left my company earlier as I can.

And while searching in their room, I accidentally saw an old notebook and got curious. And because of my curiosity, I failed to stop myself from reading everything written in this notebook. And her last entry she wrote shattered my heart into pieces.

How can I be so cruel to someone who just wanted to be loved back? I was so mad at her to the point I was blinded by my hatred and hurted her physically and emotionally. I am busy hurting her while she's busy loving me unconditionally. I wrecked her even though all she did was to fixed me.