Better Let Them Know Who's Boss {mxm}

36.

I had no clue what had just happened.

All I knew was that my heart felt devastatingly empty and there was a pressure on my chest, preventing me from breathing. I could feel myself losing the grip on the reality of the present day at hand, emotions of anger, regret, and ultimate sadness smearing themselves in my brain. 

They say when you feel something bad will happen, everything flashes before your eyes. That was very true because, in the split second that I had after she pushed me out of the way, all of our moments came running through my mind, right in front of my eyes as if I was watching a movie of some sorts. The moment that we met, the first time we got caught by one of the demon cops, the first time she reprimanded me for doing something so reckless, the time we cried in each other's arms because we missed our parents and we weren't sure how to go on. 

All of those moments really mattered, but they didn't prepare me for this final one.

I didn't know what to do or what to say as I stared at her lifeless body, seeing that stupid smile on her face as if she was content with everything. No. Fuck you, Jade! You don't get to die and be happy! You don't get to leave me behind! You promised, how fucking dare you break a promise!?

But deep down inside, I knew her like the back of my hand. She meant it when she said she would protect me. She was always like that, even when we were 14 going on 15. Despite those nasty ass rules that were put in place, she always managed to make me feel as if she deeply cared about me. Related to me or not, she was the sister I never had, and I knew my parents saw her like so. We shared a bond so beautiful, Avery had to feel left out sometimes. It wasn't that, but when you share so many memories, a home, secrets, tears, it was really hard not to grow on each other.

"Troy, now is not the time to forget where you are!"

I shut my eyes, my cheeks with hot tears as I wept, my hands stained with crimson. "No..." I whispered, unable to think clearly. "Jade, wake up. Stop fucking playing with me, man," I sniffled, shaking her body softly. She always had a knack for joking around like that. Despite her hardass behavior, she was really down to earth and humorous.

"I know it hurts, but you have to keep going!"

Did I really have to though? I mean, I didn't have much to live for. Sure, I had Avery who was waiting for me along with my parents to get back safely. I had Maddox who may or may not have been dead already and this mission was pointless.

But I didn't have Jade.

Jade was the one who made these last four years bearable despite her helicopter parenting. She made me the strongest and I knew that I could take on anything if it meant that she was safe and out of harm's way. That was the key to everything. No, it wasn't the fact that she took her last breath, telling me that she loved me. The worst thing of all was that I would have to go on and remember her last words, miss her so terribly, feeling as if a piece of me was missing. "God damn you!" There was no bite to my voice, I had to admit. She knew I was the worst when it came to moving on about things. I could never, would never move on.

So how did she expect me go on?

"Troy," I could hear Nya speaking to me as she spoke through my ear, an imaginary hand touching my shoulder as if it was soothing me. "I know you're in pain, but do not let her death be in vain." I could feel Jade's body being moved from off my lap and all I could see was her blood. Her blood because she died protecting me.