Morphine

eight: all too familiar

We drive home in Chase's car. The loud music that's playing is slightly disturbing, but I don't object. Both the boys are head-banging without a care in the world. Watching them being so...easy brings a much needed smile upon my face.

Milan, seated beside me, notices my smile and instantly grins. He pulls me close and says, "Imma get you to loosen up bae," He's trying to talk like Chase.

"Sure. Imagine how 'loosened up' we would be if Chase crashed the car into a tree or something." Chase is busy whipping his hair and singing loudly to pay much attention to us.

"But it'd be quite an experience if he did, wouldn't it?"

"Oh shut up." Milan doesn't know the first thing about pain let alone experiencing it.

****

I notice a dark figure standing by the corner of our street and staring up at our house. The person's face is obscured by a dark blue hoodie making it difficult to identify him/her.

Chase parks the car in the driveway. I run out before either of them. His/her back is partially visible as I hurry over to the wall behind which the person stands.

"Yeah, I found the house." He. It's a he. He pauses as the person on the other end speaks. "Okay, I'll start from Monday." Another pause. The guy sucks in a breath through his teeth and holds the phone a few centimeters away from his ear. Peeping through the 5 inch gap between the wall I notice a spherical tattoo behind his middle finger. Black outline, empty in the middle. Almost too small to notice. Maybe I imagined it. "Alright, alright. Calm down. I'll start from tomorrow."

He suddenly turns around. I flatten myself against the wall moving away from the gap. My breathing pace is increasing and I'm pretty sure he can hear me. Raising my hand up to cover my mouth I stay pressed to the wall until I hear his footsteps become soft and eventually disappear.

"What're'ya doing here Meira?" Chase's voice startles me out of nowhere.

"Oh um nothing." I move away from the wall trying not to give him a reason to be suspicious.

Chase gives me an inquiring look but I just shrug and walk past him into the house.

No one is happier to see Chase than mum. With his carefree but equally mature attitude, I doubt anyone will disapprove of him. I try not to stare at him too much, but every now and then he catches me and gives me a lopsided grin. He's different. I can feel it. Whether it's the fact that I haven't spoken to another human being in a friendly manner over five years or the fact that he's understanding and not-judgemental about me, I don't know. It's like his eyes are sympathetic yet wholly inviting me to a different world.

How incredibly pretentious of me to read so much into a few glances.

They both head over to Milan's room to "catch up on some homework" when really I'm sure it's code for something perverted. I fall onto my bed in my room, waiting for mum to call me for dinner, and do what I do best: over think things.

The guy outside could be one of Bansik's minions. He could be planning to harm my family. I know Bansik isn't the sort of person who'll simply let me go after he's put so much time and effort in making my life miserable. Why would he? He must have quite a serious reason to do this to me. I feel so powerless. I know nothing. I know nothing about his intentions and his reasons. I know nothing about the world. I missed out on almost everything. I missed out on growing up.

But maybe that's how my life is meant to be. Unknowing. That's probably how I'm going to live. Vulnerable. Scared. Completely clueless?

No.