AWSTEN KNIGHT DDMS

Friendly Reminder [T.W.] /9/

[TRIGGER WARNING]

Requested by: i_amcland3stine

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Age 16

Awsten finds out Y/N has an eating disorder.

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I can't stop drifting off, there's been a lot on my mind. I refuse to look at myself or on social media because it reminds me of who I am. Am I actually that bad? Because I believe them. I thought I could try it, maybe I could be liked if I did it. I progressively ate less and less my body ached in pain as I just bared it. I drank water knowing and believing that it was better than the fatty foods. I wasn't bad at all, the numbers were decreasing but I still looked the same. The school was the safe zone because no one had to watch me eat. In the house I was stuck with Travis, dad has been out for three months from the tour. Travis was okay, he didn't mind me that much, he gave me much needed privacy. Dad and Travis are weird, I'd occasionally see him on his laptop writing on his new book and other times I'd see him looking at weird fanfiction of the band. Uncle Geoff's daughter sometimes comes around, we'd often whine about our fathers not being here 'cause we do miss them. Sometimes there would be a live stream or two from my dad, he'd smile every time he sees my name pop-up on the chat. I used to do a lot of fan interactions, I'd comment, like, and repost. Everyone is so talented but why not me? I had recorded covers of songs on my phone and I planned to post them but thinking about it now, I rather not. If I go through the whole 'Music thing' they might think I'm just a copycat. I already have a lot on my plate.

I see what they say about me, that I'm spoiled, I'm worthless I just live off of my dad's fame, that I'm not pretty, I'm just a dumb slut. I frown each time I see it, they don't like me nor do they even want me. I stayed on the bed, as usual, thinking. "I wanna look perfect," I thought. I am what they say about me, disgusting. I pull out my notebook and list down all the food I have consumed, six hundred calories? That seems a lot, why not cut it down to five hundred. I haven't been posting recently I don't even look at my dad's post or his live streams, sometimes he'd call me during his Instagram lives but I'd decline it. I don't know, I want to answer but I can't. They don't want to see me anyways.

"Hey... Y/N? I got something for you," Travis knocked which snapped me back to my thoughts, he placed a plate on the table.

"Thanks..." I smiled.

"Oh hey! By the way... do you wanna go out?" He asked I knew he was already bored.

"Alright,"

It could be a park or some weird eccentric place that seems like a Travis thing. It was nice of him to give me a muffin, but I don't want it. I get ready, I went into the closet looking for clothes. Some things don't fit. Good. I got jeans and tucked in a t-shirt. Travis pulled the car over to the front of the house, we drove off to seemingly to nowhere. He put on music and of course, it had to be Waterparks. My stomach ached as I was in the car, three months in and I'm pretty used to it by now, but this pain was something else. Of course, it was a park, it turns out he came all the way out here just to write, typical Travis. I walked around it was hot and my body hurts like hell. There were vendors around this isn't exactly a quiet park. It looks like everyone was having a good time. All the people were doing their thing but for some reason, they were just blurry lines to me. I found it very strange. My body felt weird it's like each time I took a step my body got shot right at the back. I continued walking, hoping it was just those random pains you get from not exercising. White noise slowly engulfed me, I realized what was happening. My surroundings were closing in, grainy and black and white. My stomach was throbbing with what seemed to be endless pain. I tried to pass it off as nothing concerning. My legs felt like jello I struggled to walk It was all black from here on out.