Broken: A Time Lord's Story (Doctor Who Novel)

Chapter 33 K'Nar

A/N: Thank you Donna for helping me to straighten this one out.

Uinals-- Vshak month borrowed from the Mayan calendar

K'Nar twisted and moaned in her sleep. The coverlet ensnared her legs as she tried to run to her Lord. Images of his body lying on the cell floor filled the dream. One moment, he twisted and danced to the strange call of a siren, the next he crawled on the cold, concrete floor, entangled in his own clothes. The dream deepened further as he called for her.

Run, K'Nar, run. I'm coming for you. Hide from the monsters.

The images tumbled around until finally; she jerked upright, gasping for air.  The bed was as much her enemy as the horrid compound. Cold fear sent her scrambling for the safety of her window seat. She needed air, her lungs felt constricted by her fear. She didn't remember her windows being so heavy as she pushed them out to let the brisk night air soothe her skin. For several minutes, she just sat feeling her heart pound. Every thump so hard that it felt as if it would burst through her thin chest. Slowly, as she bathed in the fresh air, it slowed until she was no longer aware of its beat. When she could move her limbs again, she drew her knees up and gazed up at the night sky.

"Are you out there, my Lord?" she whispered to the night air.

She half expected an answer, but only the silence of the night answered.

K'Nar's attention shifted to Vshak's three full moons. On such a clear night like tonight, their reflections played across the terrace pond twinkling in the ripples of the water. The longer that she stared the more it reminded her of the stars streaming past the windows of the Starliner that brought her home. Since coming back, this had become her favourite time of the night. The palace was quiet now. Peace enveloped her after everyone slept. This was the only time of the day left to her when her mind didn't feel under assault by the presence of others. She'd never realised how noisy her people were all while rarely making a sound. It seemed their mental chatter never stopped. She missed the silence from the mind blinds. She heard their thoughts only when she chose to. But, Vshakians, GRVA how they could talk.

In the quiet of the night, she could be alone just to sit, think... and remember. She'd heard him again -- in her dreams. His pain and fear -- stalking her in the realms that she'd learnt quickly after returning home to keep carefully kept hidden behind impenetrable shields where no other telepath could go. Her weeks in that horrible place had taught her all too well how to accomplish that little trick. It didn't matter that she hid them from the precise people who saved her, brought her home and loved her.

It was hard for her to believe that over two uinals had passed since her parents and the Palace guards brought her safely back to her home, her family ... to her world. Her world -- her beautiful, peaceful world was no longer peaceful. The joy of being safe at home  fled leaving only crushing loneliness.  Her family, friends,  even the servants tried to fill the void, but to no avail. They couldn't understand how she could miss a bedraggled, injured stranger so much that she couldn't fully enjoy her homecoming.

Sitting in the darkness was a relief. The same people who loved her made her feel -- smothered and hemmed in. They all expected her to act Vshakian;  to use telepathy again. After all, that's who, and what they were -- telepaths. But now ... it was so hard to communicate like. K'Nar wanted to speak out loud like the mind blind; to hide her thoughts and nightmares behind false speech.

The thoughts and mind chatter of other Vshakian left her feeling invaded. But, worse was the feeling of betrayal that she had every time she used telepathy with anyone. She desperately feared that they would discover the secrets that she had locked away in her own mind: his home-world, his incredible magic ship, even his name. If the healers or her parents knew, they would send her back to the Centre. So she kept them well-hidden -- from everyone.