By Now - (Jalex)

Prologue;

Alex's POV

I poured myself a glass of vodka and drank it all in one shot, in hopes to drown away some of today's events, but unfortunately the more I drank the more I thought about him, and the more I thought about him the more I continued to drink, and not long after I found myself laying on the couch with only an empty vodka bottle to add to my already fucked up and emotional state.

I was so tempted to call him after every time I finally stopped crying, thinking that it was all a joke- he wasn't really getting married... was he? Then just like that, in only a blink of an eye I lost all confidence and relapsed, sobbing uncontrollably into the palms of my hands. He was getting married and there was nothing I could do about it, and the sadist part of it all is that I could have prevented this. If only I stayed and waited it out, then I'd be getting married as well, happy and content in his arms where I knew I was always meant to be.
All my thoughts from that point forward were of how stupid I was and how I was going to be forever alone, but a part of me also thought that maybe it was all for the best. No matter how hard it was, I had let him go so he could find something better- somebody better, and he did. Now I only have myself to blame.

Knowing that, I poured myself another glass, going on my second bottle now but I didn't care much, I didn't care much about anything anymore, to be quite honest. I just needed to forget, to feel weightless, because honestly that would be enough. I needed to feel something besides the constant aching feeling inside my chest, so I took another sip, and another and another, until the room had started to spin and my vision began to burr even more. I slowly became numb and everything seemed to be at lightening speed, even though there was nothing going on at all inside my small hotel room. And to make matters worse, I thought I heard his voice calling my name a few times, and flashes of his face kept on popping up in my head, I almost thought I was going crazy. It was all too much to handle and before I knew it I had passed out.

-

I woke up this morning feeling much worse than I did last night; full of regret and emotion. I wanted to punch myself so bad for being so dumb and drinking that much. It's not like I haven't drank that much before because I have, way more than two whole bottles of vodka but I never had a hangover quite like this one before. If my friend Jeff were here he'd say that it was because of me drinking on a broken heart and that's why and, he'd be right, somewhat.
I finally managed to convince my body that it was a good idea to move it's self off the couch and into the bathroom, where I threw up a couple of times and you don't even want to know what else. Then I put some water on my face and brushed my teeth, twice, before deciding that I was in desperate need of a shower. I started the water and began stripping off my clothes till I was only left in my boxers, I checked the waters tempter and slipped my boxers off then jumped in.

The water felt amazing hitting against my skin, I almost never wanted to get out but after awhile I did and got dressed, then proceeded back into the main room of the hotel to clean up the mess I had made. I then grew an appetite and decided to move to the kitchen to make something for myself, getting the eggs out I heard the doorbell ring twice, followed by a light tap at the door.

My heart began to race and I ran to the front door, feeling confident that I'd knew who'd be on the other side of it and swung it open, and to my surprise I was right.

There stood the man I thought I had lost, piercing his dark brown irises into my very own light brown ones. I froze, not knowing what to do or say, so I said nothing and continued to stare at him like an idiot. He looked so handsome and well dressed for a Sunday morning. I was extremely happy to see him but very confused at the same time, as to why he was even at my hotel room in the first place.

"Jack, what are you-" he had attached our lips, cutting me off completely. I had put my hands on his chest only meant to push him away and ask him what the fuck but instead, I gripped onto his shirt and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him.

He grabbed onto my hips and pressed our bodies together, as we kissed each other hungrily. I wrapped my arms around him to get him even closer to me, running my hands up and down his back. He nibbled at my bottom lip before moving to my neck. I was now clawing at his back trying to get his shirt off, as he continued to kiss me on my neck. I missed his touch.

I began walking backwards towards the bedroom to get to the bed, still clinging onto him like he'd float away from me or something. I missed him so much.
We landed onto the bed and I wrapped my legs around his hips, bringing him in even closer. He connected our lips again, and we stayed like that for a while before he pulled back to look at me, lips red, face flushed, and his eyes were filled with nothing but lust. I missed that look.

"I missed you," he whispered to me. I touched his lips with my fingertips and brought them back away slowly, as I stared into his eyes.

"I missed you, too. So much," I told him. He smiled and brought one hand up to brush the hair out of my eyes, then down to the side of my face. I quickly brought my hands up to his neck and reattached our lips. I missed us.