19. Vulnerable

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"He was an angel craving chaos. She was a devil seeking peace."

Taehyung and I took a nice shower together, cleaning each other's bodies

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Taehyung and I took a nice shower together, cleaning each other's bodies. He was kind enough to give me a clean pair of clothes and shuffled to the kitchen to make coffee.

Removing my damp burgundy locks from my face, I stared down at my hands as if they weren't mine. Somehow spending the night with Taehyung didn't feel like a mistake; it felt right to me.

Seeing him so broken last night caused something to snap inside of me. My wrath was totally misdirected and I was so grateful I had stopped myself for going to the hospital the previous day and confronting him.

He couldn't possibly know. Taehyung seemed totally clueless as to what he was and how he was brought into this world. That he was a cosmic miracle. He wouldn't know; how would he? Who could be that good at reenacting such brokenness?

My mind kept drifting to last night. The sex was amazing, but it wasn't just sex for me. It was way more meaningful than just sex. We had found solace in one another; both of us burdened by our woes, we were lost in one another. Having shared such an intimate experience together made me feel so much closer to him. Based on how affectionately he treated me that morning, last night had probably been wonderful for him too.

But what do I do now?

Seeing Taehyung bare his soul in front of me like that affected me more than I'd ever say. I didn't care how many people he had wronged for one reason or another – deep down inside he was pure. Kind-hearted, as Soohyun had so perfectly described him. He didn't deserve being lied to, and I didn't feel like doing it anymore. I was carrying this emotional burden that was becoming unbearable.

"Hey." I smiled as I tiptoed to the kitchen, the homey scent of coffee lingering in the air. I installed myself on one of the kitchen stools as Taehyung handed me my coffee mug.

"Hey," he smiled, leaning forward to land a small peck on my cheek which caught me by surprise. "Glad to see the clothes I gave you fit," his smile spread into a wide rectangular grin as his eyes trailed down the oversized t-shirt I was wearing.

"Very funny," I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of the hot liquid.

"I'm just joking. You'd look amazing even in a trash bag."

I scoffed out a laugh and my gaze dropped to the table in front of me. The words bubbled in my chest, demanding release. I wasn't entirely sure how to talk to him now. I knew my dubious attitude wouldn't go unnoticed by him – he tends to read me pretty well.

Suddenly his phone chimed, announcing that a message had been received. I heaved a relieved sigh.

"I'm really sorry." he apologized, taking the phone in his hand. His brows furrowed together in a tight frown and the next second he started typing something very vigorously on the phone, displeasure evident on his face.

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