His Appointed Wife

38. How to heal the broken hearts

Sometimes, at the edges of the nights, I sit with the darkness and wonder about all these hopeful beginnings and heartless endings. I think about you. How we could have been everything and yet became nothing.- Alexandra.
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38. How to heal the broken hearts

(Logan)

Logan closed his eyes as Barbara's words echoed in his head. It kept ringing and ringing until it was the only thing he could hear.

You won't regret... Tell me you won't regret... another man... Kids... His kids... Her kids..

Logan could imagine Alex sitting in front of him, her summer lake eyes cool and aloof --and strange-- as she looked at him and told him thank you for leaving her.

"Thank you... Did me a favor... He is my home..."

God.

His heart clenched at the thought of that, thought of her ever looking at him like that. He couldn't understand why it felt like someone was ripping his heart away. It wasn't even real.

It could only mean one thing.

I will regret it. Years later, I am sure I will regret this. Regret letting her go. But...

"Just promise me you won't regret that, Logan and I won't pester you again." Barbara said again and he looked down at his fingers as his heart thumped closer to his ears.

How could he tell her that when he knew he would?

The images running wild through his head, of Alex with another man, it was a torture. It was something he couldn't bear, even if it's only unreal.

For now. But years later.... She won't be waiting around for you. Around for someone who used her and then rejected her over and over again.

God... No.

He hated the phantom man standing next to Alex --he almost looked like Leo, a older version of him-- his arms around her and the two little blonde girls jumping next to her-- who looked exactly like her and they were supposed to have black hair, not blonde, they were supposed to be-

What? Supposed to be yours?

Yes. Mine. Mine.

"Why don't you finish your wine and go away. The man looks like he is waiting. And he didn't look like that director." Logan said. Even after years, Logan knew the man Barbara had walked away with, and this wasn't that man.

"I am not that easy to divert, but still... He is not that director. I left him when I -"

"Met this one? Is he richer than the director or something? Did he promise you a lead role in French films?" Logan asked with a sarcastic smile.

She winced as she looked at his face. "No. This man is very poor, but when I met him, I knew, I finally knew what love would feel like with the right man. How ambitions and all those other things are secondary when you find the love of your life. How it can open your eyes when you had been blind for so long, how you can become the best version of yourself. I wasn't a nice woman, Logan."