Reid's Secret Life

Learning to trust again.

Reid’s POV I woke up and surprisingly I was still in Gary’s arms. I thought he would take me back to my bunk when he saw me in his arms. But, nope. I’m still with him, and I was happy. I really did love him. But, I know I can’t act out like that anymore. He’ll send me back to my dad, and I don’t think I can deal with that. I wanted out of that house, and I got what I wanted. Now, I have to accept it, and behave. I felt him move, and he wrap his arms around me. I heard him sigh. I knew he was awake. I turned over and faced him. “You ok?” I asked. He just nodded his head yes, and pulled me close to him. “I don’t want to get up.” He said. “Why?” “I’m tired, and I want to sleep.” “Why can’t you?” “I have to perform tonight, and I have sound check in an hour.” “Oh, which means I have to too.” “Yup, we both should get ready.” “Yeah. I’m going.” I got out of bed and went to get ready. As soon as I was ready, I went to check on Gary. He was dressed, but was falling asleep on the bed, again. “Gary?” “What Reid.” “Are you ready?” He sighed, and looked at me. “I guess.” He got up and we walked in the arena together. Of course Brian followed us, and tried to keep Gary away from me. I just ignored him, and walked in the arena. Gary and I went to his dressing room, while Brian went to the backstage area. I sat down on the couch, while Gary got ready for sound check. “Gary?” “Yes Reid.” “I just wanted to say that, I’m sorry for the way I was behaving. I never meant to hurt you.” “I know, and it’s ok, I forgive you. But, Brian doesn’t.” “Yeah, I’m aware of that." "I’m sorry Reid, but it’s going to be a while before he forgives you.” “I know. It’s what I get for acting the way I did.” “You must learn from your mistakes.” I sighed. I knew he was right, but, I didn’t want to think about it. I sat there and watched Gary change. He didn’t seem to notice, or care, that I was watching him. Once he was dressed, he gave me a weird look, then left the dressing room. I followed behind him. Gary and his band went on stage for sound check. I waited backstage for him. Sadly, Brian stood next to me the whole time. It’s not like I was going to do anything to Gary, especially while he was on stage. I sighed, and walked away. I was headed to Gary’s dressing room, when I saw Neil talking to Dad. I turned around and went back to the backstage area. “Hey Brian, I know you don’t trust me, or like me at the moment but, my dad is here, and he’s not suppose to be near me.” “Ok, what do you want me to do about it?” “Just keep him away from me, please. That’s all I ask.” “You going to leave Gary alone?” “Yes.” “Fine. I’ll deal with your dad. Stay here.” He walked away after saying that. I was sad that I had to stay away from Gary. I wanted to be with him, even though I know I can’t. By the time Brian came back, Gary’s sound check was over, and they were coming off stage. I went to Gary’s bus, while Brian went to go meet his “boyfriend” backstage. I crawled in my bunk and curled into a ball. I will never be trusted with Gary again. I buried my head under my pillow and cried myself to sleep.

Gary’s POV
I got off stage and was met by Brian. But, Reid wasn’t with him. “Hey Gary, how was sound check?” “Um, good, where’s Reid?” “I don’t know, he took off before you got off stage.” “You were with him, weren’t you?” “Not the whole time, I was dealing with his dad.” “His dad was here?” “Yes. Was, now he’s not.” “That doesn’t mean he isn’t outside, or somewhere where we can’t see him!” I took off to my dressing room, to find Reid. He wasn’t there. I took off to my bus, hoping he was there. I checked his bunk first. Thankfully he was there. “Reid baby, are you ok?” No response. I picked him up and took him to the back room. I closed the door, took him to my bed, and tucked him in. I noticed he had been crying, and I felt my heart break. What happened while I was on stage? I gently shook him. “Reid, please wake up. I need to know what happened.” He slowly woke up, and looked at me. “Brian made me promise to stay away from you, in exchange to deal with my dad. I will never be trusted with you again.” He said, crying on the last part. “I’m sorry baby.” “Don’t be, It’s my fault, not yours.” I sighed. I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. I laid down next to him, and held him close to me. He buried his head in my chest and cried. I rubbed his back soothingly and tried to calm him down. “Calm down baby, it’s ok. I will talk to Brian about this. ok?” He just nodded his head, and tried to calm himself down. He ended up falling asleep in my arms. I honestly didn’t care. I was glad to know that he was safe. A few minutes later, Brian walked in the room. “Really?” “Don’t start Brian, or you can go home. I’m not dealing with this. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was upset, and I was comforting him.” “Ok, geez.” “No geez, you are overreacting to things that you shouldn’t be, and why would you make him promise to stay away from me, just to deal with his dad? That was uncalled for.” “Because I don’t want him near you, not after what he did to you. I am suppose to protect you, and that’s what I’m doing.” “No, you are being an asshole. He has already apologized to me, and I forgave him. Now it’s your turn to forgive him, and trust him.” “No, and no. I’m not going to forgive him or trust him.” “Then get out! I’m not going to let you treat him this way!” “Fine, I’ll try to trust him. But, no promises.” “Don’t try, just do it. He is upset, because of the way you treated him earlier. You will apologize to him, and I mean it.” “Ok, whatever you say.” He walked out of the room, before I could say anything else. Which was probably for the best. I set my alarm for four o’clock, just in case I fell asleep, so we would have enough time to get ready for the concert tonight. An hour later, Reid woke up. “Hey sweetheart. How are you?” “I have a headache.” “Want some Aleve?” “Sure.” “Ok, give me a minute.” I got up and went to the front lounge. I opened the medicine cabinet, and got the Aleve bottle. I went back to the back room, and gave Reid two pills. I handed him my bottle of water, and he took the pills, then laid back down. “Did you talk to Brian?” “Yes. I told him that he needed to apologize to you.” “And, what did he say?” “He said ok.” “That’s it? Just, ok?” “Yeah. He’s not happy about it but, it was either that, or he goes back home.” “I prefer he goes back home, but if he apologizes to me, he better not do it again.” “He won’t, I hope.” “He better not, I was really hurt that he doesn’t want me around you. I don’t need to be reminded of that every day.” “I know baby, and if he does treat you like this again, you better tell me.” “I will.” “Ok, I love you.” “I love you too.” Reid cuddled into me, and went back to sleep. I rubbed his hair, and back, while he slept. I started dozing off within twenty minutes, but was interrupted, when Brian walked back into the room. “He’s asleep?” “Yes. I was falling asleep myself, until you came in here.” “Oh, want me to leave?” “No, just tell me what you want.” “I was just checking on you, and I was going to apologize to Reid.” “Well, it can wait. Now go, and let me sleep.” “Fine.” He walked out of the room, and I went to sleep until my alarm went off. Once it did go off, I woke Reid up, and got my clothes I was wearing tonight. I went to take a shower. “Hey Gary?” I jumped, when I heard someone behind me. It was just Reid, but he startled me. “What’s up baby?” “Can I shower with you, please?” “Why?” “Cause, I want to.” “I don’t think that’s a good idea Reid. I’m Sorry.” “Awe, please?” “No Reid. That’s my final answer.” He pouted, and walked out of the bathroom. I closed and locked the door. I was a bit stunned by Reid’s question. I got in the shower, and mainly just enjoyed the warm water. Once I was done showering, I dried off and got dressed. Then, I went to check on Reid. He was sitting on my bed, partly dressed, with no shirt on. “You ok, Reid?” “No, I want to be alone with you.” I sighed. I know I shouldn’t give in to him, but he needs me and I can’t leave him like this. I closed the door and locked it. Then, I walked up to Reid and sat down next to him. “Why did you lock the door?” Reid asked. “Cause, you want to be alone with me, and I don’t want Brian coming in here.” “Um, ok? I need to go shower, before we go in the arena.” “I know, but you wanted to be alone with me, so I’m letting you, this time.” “Are you serious?” “Yes, I am. Just don’t say anything to Brian about this. ok?” “As long as you promise not to say anything to Isabelle about this.” “I promise I won’t tell.” “Ok, I’m going to shower.” “You sure?” “Yeah, I don’t want Brian getting jealous of me anymore than he already is.” “Ok baby, I love you.” He smiled. “I love you too.” Then, he walked out of the room. I felt bad for him. He really is scared of Brian. I’m starting to wonder if he did anything to him, without me knowing. I walked out of the room, and went to the front lounge, where Brian was. He was laying down on the couch, doing something on his phone. “Brian, can I talk to you for a minute?” “About?” He said, a bit annoyed. “Lose the attitude. I want to talk about Reid.” “There is nothing to talk about. He did what he did, and I defended you. That’s all.” “Yeah, exactly how did you defend me?” “You know how, just leave me alone Gary.” “No, we need to talk about this. What all did you do to Reid?” “I told you what I did to him. I didn’t abuse the kid, if that’s what you think. I just hurt him till he told me what I wanted to hear.” “Yeah, well, he’s afraid of you now.” “Good, maybe he’ll leave you alone now.” I sighed, I don’t like this at all. “Why don’t you go home. It’s clear that you don’t want to be here.  I’ll take care of Reid by myself.” He looked at me, when I said that. Not to mention he wouldn’t look up from his phone, when I started this conversation. “I’m not going home. It’s just my luck that he goes and does something else to you, and I won’t be here to help you.” “Then quit your shit with him. He’s a kid, he’ll learn what’s right and wrong, just give him time.” “As long as he stays away from you.” “Go home Brian. I’m done with this.” I walked away after that, and went to the back room. I sat on my bed and waited for Reid to come out of the shower. When he did, he didn’t come in here, he went to the front lounge instead. I heard Brian talking to Reid, but I didn’t hear what he was saying. I got up and went to hear the conversation. “You told Gary everything about what I did to you, didn’t you?” Reid started shaking when Brian showed his anger. “I did, but only cause he needed to know.” “No he didn’t, and I could’ve hurt you a lot worse than I did, but I didn’t.” “Just leave me alone.” “No I won’t, but you will leave Gary alone. I will not forgive you for what you did to him, and I will not trust you with him alone.” Reid didn’t say anything back to him, instead, he stormed out of the bus. I felt my heart break. He had hurt him now. I walked in the front lounge and glared at Brian. “I heard everything, I want you gone when I get back.” “Gary.” I cut him off before he said anything else. “No Brian! I told you to cut your shit with him, but you didn’t listen! Instead you went behind my back and started your shit with him again! He knows what he did was wrong, and he’s tired of being reminded of that! Go home!” I walked off the bus, and tried to run after Reid, but he was already gone, and I have no idea where he went. I called his sister to help me find him. I am so mad at Brian right now, I told him to stop acting this way towards Reid. Now there is no telling if I was going to find him or not. I called Jay and Joe Don to help as well. Soon we were all looking for him, and I told them to call me if they found him. We all took off different directions to look for him. We searched for two hours, before I found him. I called everyone and told them the location. Kim was the only one in a car, so she picked the other two up, then met up with us. I walked up to Reid. He was on the ground in tears. He was crying so hard, that his face was red. I sat down next to him, and gently rubbed his back. He leaned into my chest and cried. “You need to breathe baby, you are going to pass out if you don’t.” He tried taking a deep breath, but couldn’t, he just kept crying. I wrapped my arms around him, and rubbed his back soothingly. I was trying to calm him down. “It’s ok baby, just calm down. I told Brian he needed to go home, and that I wanted him gone by the time I got back. He had no right to talk to you like that.” He didn’t say anything back, he just tried to calm down. “Just breathe baby, it’s going to be ok.” Kim and the others showed up after I said that. “What happened? Is he ok?” Jay asked. “He will be, and it’s Brian’s fault that he took off.” “Why, what happened?” Joe Don asked. “He said something he shouldn’t have, and it upset him.” “Poor Reid.” Jay said. “Yeah, but, he’ll be ok. Brian is going home today.” “I’m sure he is.” “He is, especially after what he said to him.” “Do you want me to take you back to your buses?” Kim asked. “If you don’t mind. That would be nice. I need to calm Reid down, before our concert tonight.” I said. “Ok.” With that, we all piled in the car, and I sat Reid in my lap. He was still trying to calm down, but at this point, he was falling asleep from how much he was crying. “Go to sleep baby, I’ll wake you up when it’s time for you to perform.” I said quietly to him. He just nodded his head and went to sleep. Kim drove us back to our buses, and I carried Reid to mine. Of course, I knew Brian would still be here, but I was hoping he wouldn’t be. I walked in my bus and took Reid to his bunk. I didn’t see Brian in the front, so he must be in the back. I tucked Reid in, and closed his curtain. I walked to the back and opened the back door, sure enough there was Brian, sitting on the edge of the bed. “May I help you?” I asked, annoyed. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to go home. I want to be with you.” “Not after what you said to Reid. I told you, I wanted you gone by the time I got back.” “I know. But, I don’t want to go home.” “I don’t want to hear it Brian. You hurt Reid’s feelings. He already apologized to me, and I forgave him. You were suppose to forgive him too. But, you decided to show him that you were still pissed at him. Now, I’m pissed at you. You need to go home.” He sighed. He knew I wasn’t going to change my mind about this. “Reid’s not going accept an apology either. He is hurt. He knows he fucked up, but he didn’t want to keep being reminded of it.” “Ok I get it, I’ll go home. I’m sorry for the way I acted towards him, but I can’t forgive him for what he did to you. I’m just surprised you did.” “I had to. He’s my kid now. I can’t stay mad at him forever. You know, he doesn’t know we’re married, right?” “I know. No one knows.” “And they’re not going to, if you keep acting like this.” “Please don’t do this. I love you.” He said upset. I could tell he was trying not to cry. But, I was mad at him, and I was going to show it. “Then straighten up, and leave Reid alone. I am dealing with him, not you.” “OK, I’ll leave him alone. Just don’t send me home, please.” “You can stay here, while we perform, so he stays calm during his performance.” “OK. I’ll just wait for you.” “As long as you stay here.” “I will.” “Ok.” I walked out of the room and noticed that Reid’s bunk was open. I know I closed his curtain. I walked up to his bunk, and saw he wasn’t in there. I went to check the bathroom. I knocked on the door, but got no answer. “Reid, are you in there?” No reply. Where is he? I walked outside to see if he went out there. I didn’t see him, and I don’t think the arena is open yet. I still went and checked to make sure. Surprisingly, it was. I checked my dressing room first, he wasn’t in there. I checked the stage area, he was there, but he wasn’t alone. At first, I saw his brother, as I got closer to the stage, I saw his dad. I looked at Reid, and he was shaking. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be saved, or if he wanted to deal with them but, by the way he was acting, I assumed he wanted to be saved. I walked up to him, and gently pulled him towards me. “Why are you here?” His dad asked annoyed. “Reid turned up missing, and I was worried about him. You need to leave him alone.” “No, and I’m not going to leave you alone either.” “What do you mean by that?” I asked, a bit nervous. Of course my question was answered when he pulled a gun on me. I hugged Reid tightly, and kept his eyes covered. Of course, he already had his face buried in my chest since I came up here. “Don’t do this please, we have to perform soon.” “I don’t care. I’m not letting you two out of my sight.” I sighed. How am I going to get us out of this? I don’t have a way of calling for security, and I can’t call any of the guys without one, or both, of us getting hurt. “Please leave us alone, it won’t end well for you when we have to go on stage and we aren’t with our band.” “I never said I wasn’t going to let you perform, I just said I wasn’t going to let you two out of my sight. Now move, people will be coming in here soon, and I don’t want them seeing this.” I rolled my eyes, and led Reid to my dressing room. I locked the door before his dad had a chance to catch up to me. I’m not dealing with this again, and Reid doesn’t need to be dealing with him. I heard someone walk up to the door, and try to enter. But, since I had the door locked, they couldn’t come in. “Open the door!” I heard Reid’s Dad say. Oh great, here we go. I didn’t say anything, I just prayed that he would walk away, so we could get ready. Jay called me, probably wondering where we were at. I answered him. “Hey Jay, if you guys are coming in the arena, bring security with you. Reid’s Dad is in here, and he won’t leave us alone.” “Ok, that explains why you aren’t in your bus. We are on our way, stay put. We will let you know when it’s safe. Wait, you two are safe right now, right?” “Yes, I was able to get Reid away from his Dad and we are locked in my dressing room.” “Ok, stay there.” “We are. He has a gun on him, so be careful, please.” “We will. Bye.” “Bye.” I hung up, and held Reid close to me. “Why were you in here by yourself?” “I got a message from Kim saying to meet her in here. I didn’t realize that it wasn’t her who messaged me.” “Figured. It’ll be ok, Jay and Joe Don are on their way in here, with security.” “Ok.” He went and sat down on my couch in here. I wouldn’t be surprised if he laid down. But, surprisingly he didn’t. He just sat there nervously, waiting to hear it was safe to leave the room. It didn’t help that his Dad kept banging on the door wanting in, which only scared Reid more. I sat down next to him, and held him close. “It's going to be ok. He’s not going to get to you. I won’t let him.” “I know, but I’m still scared of him.” “I know, and you probably will always be.” “I’m sure I will. The memories still haunt me.” “I know how that is. I never told you about my past, did I?” “No, I ruined that.” “Right, you didn’t really ruin it, just made me hold back for a while.” “Oh, Ok. Does Brian know about your past?” “Yes, that’s why he acted the way he did towards you, when you hurt me.” “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I don’t even know why I did that to you.” “It’s ok, don’t worry about it.” “Ok. So, who hurt you?” “My family did.” “Why?” “I don’t know. No one in my family approved of me, and I don’t know why.” “Wow. Did you have anyone you could go to, when you needed them?” “No, not till I was thirteen.” “Oh wow.” “Yeah. It wasn’t easy being on my own. That’s why I had to rescue you, when I noticed you were going through that.” “Well, thank you, I do appreciate that. I at least had my grandparents, if I needed them.” “Yeah well, now you have me.” “I know, and I’m glad. Is it safe to leave yet?” “I’ll check.” I texted Jay, to see if we could leave the room or not. He took a while to respond back. But when he did, it wasn’t good news. ‘Not yet. He is refusing to leave, and Reid’s brother had taken off when he saw us coming.’ Of course he did. “We can’t leave yet. Your Dad is refusing to leave.” “Of course.” He leaned against me and I wrapped my arm around him. “It’s ok. At least we are safe.” “Yeah, I know. I just don’t like dealing with this. Do you still have to deal with the people who hurt you?” “Only one. But, he hasn’t bothered me lately.” “Is he family?” “No, he’s not.” “Who is he?” “Someone my Mom got me involved with.” “Oh, ok.” “Yeah. I’m done talking about this. I won’t be able to focus tonight, if I keep talking about this.” “It’s fine. I don’t blame you.” I smiled and hugged him. Jay messaged me saying it was safe to come out. We both left my dressing room and headed for the stage. Reid was performing first. Then we were. I made sure to keep an eye on Reid, while he performed. Just to make sure no one would bother him. Then, when he got off stage, I took him to my dressing room, and had him lock the door, until I get off stage. Then I went and met up with the guys. “Is Reid ok?” Jay asked. “He’s fine, I just wanted to make sure he made it safely to my dressing room.” “Ok, are you ok? You seem a little distracted.” “I’m fine, it’s just something that Reid and I were talking about. I’ll be fine.” “I sure hope so.” Before I could say anything else, we were called on stage. I took a deep breath, and hoped this night would end quickly. I was a little distracted by the conversation I had with Reid. I hadn’t talked about my past in a while, and it bothered me to have to bring it up again. I pushed those thoughts aside, and made my way on stage. I knew the guys were worried about me, but I know I’ll be fine. I’m not going to let this bother me. I was going to get through this night, one way or another. As soon as the band started playing, I went to my spot on stage and started singing. I made it through the whole set, and had said goodnight to the crowd. I walked off stage and headed towards my dressing room. I knocked on the door. “Reid, let me in please.” I heard the door unlock. I walked in and closed the door. “Can we go to your bus now? I’m tired.” Reid asked. “Sure.” I grabbed Reid’s hand and we headed towards my bus. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” He asked. “If you want, but Brian is still here.” “I don’t care. I want to be with you.” “Ok.” We got to my bus, and Reid walked in first, then I followed behind him. He went straight to the back room. I have a feeling that Brian was back there. Which means, he’s going to ask questions, and that’s the last thing I need tonight. I walked in the back room, and sure enough, Brian was back here. Reid had already laid down and fell asleep. “Is there a reason why he’s back here?” Brian asked. “He asked if he could sleep with me tonight.” “And you let him?” “Yes. He’s not going to do anything to me. Especially with you back here.” “He better not, I still don’t trust him.” “I know, I can tell.” I said annoyed. I was annoyed with him constantly mentioning that he didn’t trust Reid. I already know he doesn’t. But, I wish he would. I walked off and got ready for bed. I took a shower and got dressed in my Pj’s. Then, I crawled in bed, snuggled up next to Reid, and went to sleep.