My Life As Clare Jonas

Chapter 36

Monday
Clare's pov
I woke up and felt the sudden urge to go to the bathroom so I quickly and quietly got out of the bed and then bolted to the bathroom across the hall and lifted up the toilet seat and threw up everything I drank last night and flushed the toilet but then I started dry heaving when my stomach was finally empty and a few seconds later I felt someone hold up my hair and I mentally groaned and closed my eyes hoping it wasn't one of the adults that caught me but when I turned around i knew luck was not on my side because it was dad that was standing behind me, once I knew I was done dry heaving dad helped me up and sat me down on the counter and stood in front of me with his arms crossed and watched me brush my teeth, and once I was done he picked me up and took me back to their room where Demi was already awake.
End of pov
Demi: hey honey are you okay?
Clare: yeah I am fine
Nick: don't lie to us you were just throwing up, did you force yourself too?
Clare: no I just woke up and my stomach started hurting so I went to the bathroom
Demi. How many times are you going to use that excuse
Clare: i am not making it up this time I promise
Nick: Clare what did we say about keeping secrets? We aren't going to do that anymore so why did you throw up
Demi: I know you went to the fair yesterday, did the sugar trigger you?
Clare: no I was actually fine yesterday and fyi if I was triggered I would have thrown up yesterday
Nick: maybe we should make a doctors appointment then
Clare: you guys are overreacting I am fine I promise it was just a one time thing, you said it yesterday that I was making progress
Demi: maybe that's what triggered you, it's okay if you had a mini relapse but you have to tell us
Clare: you know what no matter what I say your not going to believe me so just think whatever you want
Nick: that's not true but we need you to be honest and not lie
Clare: and I just told you the truth and you still don't believe me
Demi: (sighs) alright fine we'll believe you
Clare: thank you
Nick: on one condition
Clare: what?
Nick: your next therapist appointment with miss Kelly today and you have to promise you'll open up
Clare: no way absolutely not I don't want to see Kelly
Demi: sorry kiddo but you have too so after breakfast I need you to get ready
Clare: please please don't make me go
Nick: you can plead all you want your still going now let's go downstairs
Clare: ugh fine
(They walk downstairs and a little while later the rest of the family comes down)
Alena: good morning familia
Tina: morning everyone
Clare's pov
I looked over at Tina and I saw a giant hickey on her neck and thankfully I was the only one that noticed it because the adults were busy helping in the kitchen so I walked over to her and grabbed her hand and dragged her back upstairs to help her cover it up.
End of pov
Tina: you almost gave me whiplash from how fast you dragged me
Clare: sorry I am trying to save your ass you have a giant hickey on your neck (grabs her foundation and beauty blender and moves her hair out of the way)
Tina: shit I had no idea thanks Clare
Clare: no problem, your dad would kill you if he saw it (starts blending in the foundation) so it looks like I am not the only one that had fun last night
Tina: (blushes) Hayden and I made out
Clare: omg seriously! Was that your first make out session
Tina: haha yeah...
Clare: hold up I am going to go get Alena we need girl talk and your spilling all the tea, (hands her the beauty blender) keep rubbing it until you can barely see it I'll be right back (walks out of the room and gets Alena and drags her upstairs)
Alena: you couldn't have just let me walk why did you have to drag me
Clare: Tina has some major tea to spill
Alena: so do I but I was going to save our girl talk for later
Clare: to bad it's happening now
(They walk into the room and Tina's finished covering it up)
Tina: how does it look?
Clare: not even noticeable but I would definitely keep your hair down and wear a jacket just in case
Tina: okay
Alena: what were you covering up?
Tina: a hickey...
Alena: omg seriously Tina your fourteen I was hoping you just kissed a guy or something
Tina: we did a lot more then just kiss...
Clare: omg tell us everything
Alena: wait just tell me your still a virgin
Tina: Alena of course I am! I just had a make out session and maybe some touching but that's it
Alena: good
Clare: well if your sister isn't going to say it then I will, I am happy for you it was going to happen eventually and there's nothing wrong with having a little bit of fun
Alena: I guess I can't really talk because I had a bit of fun myself last night
Clare: was it with jack!
Alena: (starts blushing)
Clare: omg I knew it, I knew you had a thing for jack
Alena: fine fine I might have a little thing for him but last night was just lust and it's going to stay that way
Clare: he's not that bad Alena you should give him a chance
Alena: we don't even live here we would never work
Clare: I wish you guys did live here, it would make things a lot better
Tina: your right and summer's already almost over
Alena: two more weeks and it's back to reality
Clare: I don't know what I am going to do when you guys go back to Jersey
Alena: let's not think about that now, let's just enjoy the rest of the time and head downstairs before the adults start to get suspicious
Tina: haha good idea
(The girls go back downstairs and the adults are finished setting up the table)
Alena: what's for breakfast?
Demi: scrambled eggs with toast and a fruit bowl
Tina: oh okay
(The kids sit down and start eating)
Ring ring ring
Nick: Clare no phones at the table
Clare: it's mom can I tell her we are eating?
Nick: yeah sure
(Clare answers the phone)
Phone convo
Clare: hey mommy
Selena: hey baby how are you? It's been a couple days since we have talked
Clare: I know how's Mexico?
Selena: it's good, we are playing a show tonight
Clare: cool, where's Justin I want to say hi
Justin: hey princess!
Clare: oh I was on speaker
Justin: yeah we are in the hotel room right now
Clare: oh okay well I miss you guys
Selena: we miss you too, oh and I know you have your next appointment today call me after okay?
Clare: I am not going to talk to her
Selena: please try for me Clare
Clare: no
Justin: Clare this is for your benefit just talk to her
Clare: nope anyways we are having breakfast now so I'll call you guys later
Selena: alright bye love you
Clare: love you too
End of convo
Clare's pov
I ate half the eggs and a few bites of the toast and a little bit of fruit and I was waiting for my dad or Demi to make me eat all of it but I guess they figured this therapy appointment is going to be torture enough so they let it slide.
End of POV
Tina: so what are we going to do while Clare's at therapy?
Kevin: your mom and I were thinking we would have a family day, maybe go somewhere you guys haven't been yet
Alena: cool
Joe: I have some stuff with DNCE
Clare: hey dad how about we ditch Kelly and go wherever uncle Kevin and aunt Dani are going
Nick: nice try we are going to your therapy appointment
Clare: you hate me
Demi: actually the opposite
Clare: no because if you loved me you wouldn't force me to go to stupid therapy
Nick: alright that's enough if your done eating go upstairs and get dressed
Clare: (dramatically gasps) your going to let me go shower and get dressed by myself I should be screaming from happiness
Demi: only because we have to get ourselves ready to go up and get ready and lose the attitude
Clare: ugh fine (gets off the table and walks upstairs)
Clare's pov
Once I was up in my room I started getting undressed and avoided looking at the mirror because I knew if I did I would start judging myself and then force myself to throw up today's breakfast and if I do that there's no way they'll let me be up here by myself again. I was just about to jump in the shower when my phone vibrated which meant I had a text.
End of pov
Text convo
Ricky: hey baby how are you feeling?
Clare: I am okay little bit of a headache but I'll live
Ricky: a little headache? After how drunk you were last night your head should be pounding
Clare: it was earlier but then I ate and felt better
Ricky: I am glad you ate, you had me worried last night, you haven't been that drunk in a while
Clare: how bad was it?
Ricky: if you don't remember then that should tell you something
Clare: oh your one to lecture me you drink all the time
Ricky: yeah but I don't get drunk and you know why
Clare: fine your right I shouldn't have had that much and I am sorry I worried you
Ricky: it's okay, anyways what are you doing later today? Can I pick you up
Clare: I wish but my dad and Demi are making me go to stupid therapy
Ricky: I take it you don't want to go
Clare: of course I don't want to go, I don't want to some lady about my problems
Ricky: it might help you, you know I go to therapy with Dr. Fields and it helps
Clare: I know babe and I am glad it does but I don't need too
Ricky: do you want me to be there? I won't go in the room but I could be there for support
Clare: no thanks but can we do something after?
Ricky: yeah sure just call me when your done
Clare: okay I am going to jump in the shower now, love you
Ricky: love you too
End of text convo
Clare's pov
I took a quick shower and left my hair dry because it would be to much of a mission to blow dry it right now so I put it in a ponytail and then in a hair cap to make sure it would stay dry, once I was done showering I dried myself with a towel and walked to my closet and decided on wearing a baby blue wrap front romper with some sandals and left my hair down. Twenty minutes later I heard dad yelling from downstairs that it was time to go so I grabbed my purse, phone and headphones and walked downstairs, we said bye to the rest of the fam and got in dad's car and as soon as we got in the car dad and Demi started their lecture about how they don't want a repeat of last time and that I have to be on my "best" behavior and a few words after that but I plugged my headphones in and drowned them out with my music. Thirty minutes later we parked in the dreadful driveway and dad and Demi got out of the car but I stayed sitting in the back because if they insist on bringing me here I am not going to make it easy for them. Now I know that's not the smartest decision and will probably get me into trouble but come on I am Clare and my middle name is trouble.
End of pov
(Nick and Demi wait a couple seconds to see if Clare was going to come out but when she didn't nick opened the door himself)
Nick: come on Clare I am not going to play games with you today
Clare: I don't want to talk to Kelly and you can't make me
Demi: Clare this is ridiculous your acting like a child
Clare: I thought I was a child though, that's what dad always says
Nick: yeah well your a teenager who's acting like a child get out of the car
Clare: no thanks I am good
Demi: we are going to be late this is your last chance to get out of the car
Clare: good I want to be late
Nick: alright that's it (unbuckles her seat belt and drags her out of the car and closes the door and locks it before she can go back in) now are you going to walk or do I need to carry you like last time?
Clare: (glares at him) actually Justin carried me last time and he's not here
Nick: doesn't matter I can pick you up and give you a spanking if that's what you want
Clare: no thanks
Nick: then start walking
Clare: ugh fineee but I hate you
Nick: are you looking to get grounded because your skating on thin ice
Clare: fine fine I'll stop
Demi: thank you now let's go
Clare's pov
I decided that I would just give in for now because it's not like they are going to walk in the room this time it's just going to be Kelly and I, and it's not like she can tell them anything because there's a patient and doctor confidentiality, so I'll just save the being difficult for Kelly. We walked into the building and dad went to sign us in and I sat down on the chairs and looked at all the help pamphlets there was one for eating disorders, self harm, anxiety, and a bunch of other mental problems people have and I couldn't help but wonder if those pamphlets actually help or if they are just there because people think it will help. A few minutes of sitting down I got called in and dad and Demi were going to sit in the waiting room until I was done. Kelly led me to the couch and she sat In front of me.
End of pov
Kelly: hi Clare how are you?
Clare: I am good how are you?
Kelly: I am good thanks for asking, so what's new I haven't seen you since last week
Clare: I know I can keep track of time
Kelly: (ignores her comment) right so tell me have you been feeling triggered, I know the first few weeks can be kind of tough since your so used to purging it's almost like your with drawing from that
Clare: I am fine really
Kelly: really? No anxiety or panic attacks because that's normal it can be overwhelming when you start eating again, it's almost like your mind tells you that you shouldn't eat because of the calories
Clare: I am aware I am the one with the eating disorder I think I know when my mind tries to tell me what to do and I just ignore it
Kelly: it's not easy though especially if your in public
Clare: I know what your trying to do, your trying to get me to open up to you and it's not going to work I have been fine, I feel fine
Kelly: Clare can I tell you something and hopefully it changes your mind and we can actually start to make progress
Clare: fine go ahead say what you want
Kelly: wasn't lying what got you into this in the first place? Don't you think if you were actually fine you wouldn't have purged? If you were fine then you wouldn't be here trying to put up a mask that I can see right through, you can't be fine because it's a lot to handle and your not dealing with it, your pretending like your fine
Clare: I hate to break it to you Kelly but your wrong I have been eating, and I can ignore when my mind plays tricks on me, I am not lying to you
Kelly: fine so it doesn't bother you when your family is constantly checking up on you
Clare: yeah that bothers me but it's not like I need to talk about that, that's not the problem, the problem is I am here talking to you when I don't have to be, I know that I made a few mistakes and ended up in the hospital but I have moved past that and it won't happen again
Kelly: my patients have said the same thing and then they relapse and realize that therapy can actually help, and I want to help you see that before you relapse because next time you might not be so lucky
Clare: whatever it's not going to happen again, can I go now?
Kelly: you still have thirty more minutes, how about a hobby have you thought anymore about that?
Clare: yeah and I am still not interested
Scene change
Kevin: so I was looking online to see what we could do and I came across a boat ride to this place called Catalina Island where we can go scuba diving
Tina: cool!
Alena: yeah sounds like fun
Danielle: good idea babe that's something we have never done before
Kevin: alright let's go
(They start driving to the dock where the boat is)
Tina's pov
We got to the dock and met the captain who's name was Smee like from Peter Pan and Alena and I couldn't help but laugh until dad scolded us because it was rude. Smee led us on to the boat and we put on our life vests and once we were all sitting down mom wanted to take a picture and then Smee started the boat and we were on our way to the island. The boat ride was so much fun and we got to see a family of dolphins jump out of the water which was super cool and Smee was able to play country music on the radio.
End of pov
Kevin: hey girls your mom and I want to talk to you about something
Alena: okay...
Danielle: so yesterday your dad and I had a talk with your uncles and we want to know how you would feel about moving down here
Tina: seriously!?
Kevin: yeah we had a meeting with Phil and this next year is going to be a lot of touring and stopping in Cali, and we figured it might just be better to come down here since the studio is here too it'll make everything easier
Alena: I am totally down!
Tina: me too! I love it here
Danielle: but we need to set some ground rules because I don't want you guys growing up like typical LA kids got it?
Alena: that's not going to happen mom, we are still going to have our morals and values that you guys raised us to have
Kevin: good because if we start to see LA changing you then we are going back, and your mom and I are serious about that, and you guys will still go to school when we are home but we figured on tour you could do virtual
Alena: we are totally okay with that!!!
Tina: yeah!
Danielle: I guess we'll start looking for houses tomorrow then!
Girls: yay!!!
Scene change
Clare: okay Kelly we have literally been sitting here in silence can I go
Kelly: you still have ten minutes and if your tired of being quiet maybe we could talk about something else
Clare: like what?
Kelly: how's your summer been?
Clare: seriously? That's the question your going to ask, you know how my summer went considering the first half of if led me to being here
Kelly: (sighs) Clare I can't help you if you don't let me
Clare: good I don't want it, can you tell my dad and Demi that so I don't have to come back
Kelly: that doesn't mean I am going to give up though, I want to help you but you have to at least meet me halfway
Clare: nah I am good
Kelly: alright well since there's only five minutes let me go get your parents so we can talk about today's session
Clare: wait I thought they can't know, you know because of the patient and doctor law
Kelly: technically I can't tell them what you said as long as it doesn't show red flags of your life being in danger but since nothing happened today I have to update them on the progress
Clare: what progress? We didn't make any progress today
Kelly: exactly I'll be right back (opens the door and calls nick and Demi in and they sit on the couch)
Demi: so how did it go?
Kelly: I am sorry to tell you but there wasn't any progress that was made today, she's still very guarded and doesn't want to open up
Demi: really?
Kelly: yeah so here's what I suggest, I suggest that we meet twice a week instead of once a week, I think if keep seeing her and try to get her to talk then eventually she will
Nick: if that's what you think is best Kelly then we will do that
Clare: absolutely not! I hate coming here at all, why would I come here twice! You know today went bad Kelly, why would you even want to see me again! I was hoping that you would just give up and forget the whole thing
Kelly: aw Clare I am afraid that's not going to happen, like I said I want to help you and I intend on doing that, and your family and I want what's best for you so I think seeing me twice a week is what's best and your parents agree
Clare: there's no way I am coming back here, I don't need it and I told you that!
Nick: Clare enough! I am already upset with you don't cause a scene
Demi: we are really sorry about this Kelly and we really appreciate you having patience with Clare I promise Wednesday's appointment will be better
Clare: no it won't and if you want me to come your going to have to drag me
Nick: Clare Marie Jonas I don't want to hear another peep from your mouth now say bye to Kelly and let's go
Clare: I thought you didn't want to hear a peep from me though
Nick: (grits his teeth) apologize and say goodbye and let's go
Clare: fine (fake smiles) bye Kelly see you Wednesday
Kelly: bye Clare I hope Wednesday we can actually start making progress
(Demi and nick say bye one more time and they get in the car and start driving home)
Scene change
Alena's pov
We finally got to the island and once we did Smee led us to the area where we are going to scuba dive, he set us up with oxygen tanks and helped us put it on and then soon we were in the water exploring the ocean life, and let me tell you it's a whole different world. The water was crystal blue so you could see the colors of the coral perfectly and the fish it was awesome! Dad, mom, Tina and I also got to see some dolphins in the distance, we spent the day on the island and when it started getting dark we had to go back on the boat and drive back to the dock because the sharks like to come out at night. It was around seven when we made it to the docks, we thanked Smee and went into the bathrooms to change out of wet bathing suits and that's when I noticed Tina's hickey was showing and I wasn't the only one...
End of pov
Danielle: Valentina what is that on your neck!!!
Tina: oh that it's just a bruise I must have fell or scratched myself on one of the coral
Danielle: really because it looks like a hickey
Tina: (scoffs) what mom of course it's not, I am fourteen I wouldn't do that
Danielle: oh really? Because I am pretty sure your father would say the same thing, get dressed we'll talk about this in the car
Tina's pov
I am in trouble and not just the normal kind of trouble but huge trouble, dad's going to kill me or at least my ass is definitely going to be in trouble... he's going to want to know how I got it and then we'll all be in trouble and then Clare's going to kill me for exposing us... I could just say it happened at the movies too. I guess I'll go with that, I quickly got dressed and then we walked out of the bathroom and saw dad was already bringing the car so we hopped in and started the drive back home.
End of pov
Danielle: so kev I think Valentina needs to tell you something
Kevin: oh really? What's that?
Valentina: don't make me say it mom
Danielle: oh so you would rather me say it then?
Valentina: not really.... can't we just forget it
Kevin: what's going on Valentina?
Valentina: mom saw a hickey on my neck in the bathroom...
Kevin: a hickey!? Valentina you are fourteen years old!
Valentina: I know and I am sorry
Kevin: where did you get it from?
Valentina: yesterday at the movies.. Ricky invited some of his friends and I thought one of them was cute so we kissed
Kevin: you did way more then kiss, you know your in trouble right?
Valentina: yeah I know..
Kevin: we'll talk about this when we get home, and while we are at, Alena do you have anything you want to confess?
Alena: no sir
Kevin: are you sure? Because I can't take any more secrets being revealed
Alena: I promise there's nothing else
Kevin: alright good
Tina's pov
An hour later we were got home and saw that Clare was sitting on the couch pouting and uncle nick and aunt Demi didn't look to happy either and joe was on the phone talking to aunt Sophie but this is giving me de ja vu.
End of pov
Kevin: upstairs Valentina
Valentina: yes sir
Nick: go up to my room Clare I'll be there in a minute
Clare: ugh fine
Nick: lose the attitude, I am not going to tell you again!
(Clare ignores him and walks upstairs with Valentina)
Kevin: what happened with her?
Nick: take a guess
Danielle: therapy didn't go so well
Nick: no in fact it was terrible and she's had an attitude all day long I am getting sick of it
Joe: what happened with Tina?
Kevin: she tried to hide a hickey from us but it washed away when we went scuba diving
Joe: what!? She's fourteen!!
Kevin: exactly what I said
Nick: (shakes his head) I don't know what we are going to do with them anymore
Joe: ship them off to military school
Demi: haha very funny joe
Joe: hey I am just trying to lighten the mood
Nick: thanks but I better go up and deal with her
Kevin: me too
(They go upstairs and Alena stays in the living room because she doesn't want to hear what's about to happen)
With Clare and nick
Nick: you know I am getting really tired of being in this position Clare
Clare: then don't be you don't have to spank me
Nick: yeah I do because I need to teach you that actions have consequences, and you keep making the same mistake so I am going to give you ten with my belt and bare
Clare: are you serious! You have never done it bare!
Nick: I know that but I have already punished you for your attitude several times, and you continue to give Kelly a hard time so your getting it bare, come over my lap
Clare: no not going to happen
Nick: Clare I am going to count to three and if your not over my lap then I am adding extra 1...2...
Clare: 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
(Nick has enough and picks up Clare and pulls her over his lap along with her jeans and starts)
SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK
(Nick puts the belt down and picks up a crying Clare and starts calming her down)
Clare: I I am soryyy
Nick: (wipes her tears) i forgive you but I don't want this to happen again from now on your going to respect Kelly and your going to start talking because it's what's best for you okay? I know you don't like it and you don't want to do it but sometimes we have to do things we don't want and I am only making you go because I love you, you know that right?
Clare: (sniffles) yeah I know and I love you too
Nick: alright come on let's go downstairs and maybe order pizza and a movie sound good?
Clare: yeah
(Nick and Clare go downstairs)
Scene change with Tina and Kevin
Kevin: alright Valentina you know why I am punishing you right?
Tina: because I got a hickey... which is totally unfair because I am a teenager and it was going to happen eventually I didn't do anything else
Kevin: I am glad you didn't do anything else because if you did you would be in even more trouble and for the record I don't care if your a teenager, your sister's a teenager and she would be in the same position as you if she came home with a hickey
Tina: but she's sixteen
Kevin: it doesn't matter, it's not about the age it's about teaching you guys how to have respect for yourself, your too young to do anything with a guy that's remotely sexual, you both are still to young and that's why your in trouble
Tina: how many am I getting?
Kevin: fourteen with my hand but bare and be glad it's not the belt
Tina: okay...
Kevin: now lay over my lap
Tina: okay (walks over and lays over his lap and he starts)
SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK
Tina: I am sorryyy (crying and Kevin pulls her back up and rubs her back)
Kevin: it's okay but I don't want this to happen again because if it does you will get my belt, and one more thing just because your fourteen doesn't mean you aren't a kid, your going to have so many years to do those things but right now enjoy your youth, if you want to go on dates fine but it's going to be supervised deal?
Tina: yeah I guess
Kevin: alright now let's go join the rest of the family
Tina: (smiles) okay
Clare's pov
The rest of the night we ordered pizza and watched a movie, and uncle Kevin and aunt Danielle told us the news about them moving down to California! We all cheered and congratulated them because we were happy that we were finally going to be a family in the same state, while we were watching the movie my phone vibrated and I realized I never texted Ricky after the appointment.
End of pov
Text convo
Ricky: hey baby just checking you never called me after therapy
Clare: yeah I am sorry... I got myself into some trouble
Ricky: my little trouble maker what did you do?
Clare: I may have given attitude to Kelly the therapist and dad wasn't to happy about that
Ricky: 🤦🏻‍♂️ of course you did, well Can I pick you up tomorrow?
Clare: I'll let you know but I am watching a movie with the family so I'll call you in the morning
Ricky: okay babe have fun with them
Clare: I will 😘
End of text convo
Clare's pov
We finished the movie and since it was already midnight we all said goodnight and headed to bed and I of course still had to sleep with dad and Demi, don't get me wrong I love them I really do but I am dying to have my own room again... maybe if I start actually talking to Kelly she could tell them to start trusting me in my own room again. And with that last thought I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
End of pov