𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑐ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝜊𝑛¹

a week later but it still hurts

I'd spent about a week in Kevin's apartment so far and he was surprisingly easy to live with. Sure he's learnt that, much like a dog, if he whines enough I'll massage his shoulders or get him something to eat. I don't mind, it's kind of adorable - and it's kind of my fault he can't do much for himself.

He spent most his time in his office, editing pre-recorded videos he had saved up in case of emergency, though he ran out after today and knew he had to record, he was dreading that. He loved his job, all you had to do was look at his videos to know that, but the pills they were giving him to stop the pain, 'fecking horse sedative' I think his words were. Of course, they weren't actually an animal sedative, but he insisted he might as well be getting treated by a vet because it's pretty much the same thing.

The point is, he was tired, all the time. He was always in his office or in bed, I rarely got to see him, apart from the few times I'd convinced him eating was more important than deciding what random thing to zoom in on during the intro to his video or that, the fans wouldn't notice if there were a few less jump cuts than usual.

It was at the end of this week though that I realised I probably couldn't keep walking around in Kevin's shirts and I probably should go get some of my stuff if I was planning on staying here for a while. I was dreading it though, going back there, and who could blame me right?

Kevin's "wait till I'm strong enough to be your bodyguard" comments weren't making it any easier. Neither were his "ew, a girl wearing my clothes? What if I get cooties!?" jokes.

I knew he'd be there, Craig, but I got up early, just praying he'd be at work s usual - though it occurred to me I didn't really know when he was actually at work and when he was just lying.

Kevin asked to come but I told him it wasn't necessary. Luckily, I was right.

When I got down there though not everything was as I had left it. There were two black trash bags in the corner of the room, my clothes. My laptop? Smashed. The photo frames on the walls? Empty. They used to house pictures of our first holiday together.

There was a dress on the floor of the bedroom that wasn't mine, the kitchen shelves were stacked with fancy flavours of tea, a drink that me and Craig both disliked. A week. It took him less than a fucking week.

I know I'm living in Kevin's apartment but it's not the same, Kevin and I are friends. Sure there's some awkward flirting sometimes and sure the look he gives me when he wants attention makes me feel ways I probably shouldn't but...It's different. He doesn't like me back, and I respect him too much to push his boundaries. I wouldn't bring soup into Kevin's apartment - unless I wanted to annoy him - it's been a week and he's already letting her bring tea into his. That probably sounds stupid. I'm probably being stupid. I probably shouldn't care. But maybe I felt guilty when I moved in with Kevin. Maybe I feel guilty every time my eyes linger on him for a little too long. Maybe I felt guilty for feeling things for that man when I shouldn't have because Craig clearly doesn't feel guilty for me.

Maybe I spent all this time keeping my distance in hopes that when I unlocked this apartment door he'd be there waiting for me with his arms open and all would be right in the world again.

I don't realise I'm crying until I feel something warm slipping down my cheek. I take a deep breath and wipe it away before grabbing the two bags he'd left for me and walking out. I leave my key on the side before the door, not bothering to lock it behind me - not my apartment, not my boyfriend, not my problem.

With both my hands full I awkwardly use an elbow to knock on Kevin's door, which is instantly pulled open. He was stood there waiting, he has a nervous look on his face that turns to a slight frown as his eyes look down at the bags then back at me.

"Couldn't find a suitcase?" He joked. I smiled, stepping through the door.

"My stuff had already been packed, apparently he believes he has rightful ownership over both our suitcases." I try to keep the tinge of spite from souring my tone, I fail.

He nods, "was he there?"

"He wasn't, neither was she."

"She?"

"The woman he was sleeping with, she's already moved in. All the picture frames are empty, the pictures of us gone- how could he just, erase me from his life like that? It's as if I never even lived there."

He frowns again, not quite knowing what to say.

"He smashed my fucking laptop Kevin! Why? What was the fucking point? Just to piss me off? Well done Craig, you succeeded!" I yell, more toward the air than to Kevin at the end.

I was crying again. I was in Kevin's arms before I knew what was happening, the bags falling to my sides as my face was crushed against his chest.

"I'll buy you a new laptop."

"No Kevin, I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask, and neither am I, I'm telling you."

I sigh, pressing my face back into his chest, not in the mood to argue.

"You're too good for that dick anyway."

I smile.

"You're special y/n, it's not your fault he didn't see that."

I sniffle.

"In fact, I'm pretty sure you're perfect."

I blush.