Chapter 30 - No

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I can sense that a lot of you really want answers as to why I'd did what I did last chapter. All I can say is that I'm not a fan of writing stories where things fall into place so easily. Plus, I think stuff like that would really be a slap in the face and almost a reality check. Paul didn't know how to feel and was already frustrated before that morning, and it all burst out and drove him to leave. They ain't perfect characters and I wanna try highlight that while giving you a good story. Thought I should clear it up in case it all seemed a bit random (though it admittedly kind of was). Lucky for you I'm the most impatient person ever, so it won't be long before we have them meet again 😁🤨

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I pulled up at the very building where this all started. With sunglasses on to hide my red, puffy eyes, I quickly ducked into the building, avoiding answering anything for the press. This didn't stop them from nagging me, of course, despite me stating that I wouldn't be answering any questions. They went on and on with questions about me and Paul.

Finally feeling a bit of ease when I was inside, I adjusted my jacket and took a good, deep breath as Larry came to greet me. "Are you decided?" Larry asked. He ran his hand through his greying, gelled black hair.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," I said, lifting my sunglasses to wipe my eyes a bit.

"Well, just go in there to sign. Paul won't be here for another hour," Larry said. My heart stopped when I heard him say his name. Just another reminder of the pain I've been left with for the past few days.

I walked into the empty room, grabbing the pen. They had extended the contract, and this time if we signed that we agree, it would last a full year. It was everything we wanted. But of course we both needed to sign it for the contract to be approved and become valid.

After doing a last minute back and forth bicker with myself, I ticked the box I had intended to check when I walked in here. This decision took so long to come up with. I still wasn't even all that sure on whether or not I was making the right choice.

Hesitantly, I quickly signed my name so I wouldn't back out of it. I even shut my eyes while doing it, turning my head the other direction. After that I didn't look at it at all. This piece of paper didn't need to try tell me what my relationship with Paul was. It was all real to me, whether or not he felt the same.

I quickly left without saying another word, not even being bothered to say goodbye to Larry. It still hurt, I was still in so much pain. Our breakup hurt me so much it started to pain physically. I wasn't sure how well I was gonna cope, these kinds of things always killed me. Especially when I thought I was in love.

A moment to explain and try to convince him that I did love him would mean everything to me. I don't even know what it was that went off in his brain that made him suddenly freak out like that. Whatever it was, I don't care, if I could have reversed it, I would have. I love him so badly.

Arriving home and slamming the door shut, I quickly jogged to the living room and made another joint for me to smoke. Eventually I'd have to start buying my own, but the past few days, I had been living off Paul's stash. I'm not sure what it was about it that made it so soothing and euphoric. Something about the way it made me feel just had me hooked to it. I wanted more all the time. It was kind of like what I was trying to use to replace the hole Paul had left in my heart. I needed a new drug.

Eventually the weeks went by, followed by the months, and even the change of seasons. Just 4 more months, and it would be a year since I decided not to renew my contract.

I now lived in little house that was tucked away in a private neighbourhood. Though private, it didn't mean quiet. Me and all the neighbours were always holding neighbourhood parties full of drugs, alcohol and sex. After a year, I had grown up a lot and changed.

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