Forgive and Forget

Chapter 18

It's been over a year since Macy's death. Both of us are doing really well. I took Tabby to her grave site on the anniversary. She talked to her told her everything that's going on and cried. Me and Harper still have sex quite a lot actually. Our little sexcapaids are fun as hell. I'm not complaining about them at all. We've gotten closer.

As much as I tried not to be in love with her it didn't work. I wanted to hate her for the rest of my life. I've always love her and been in love her but...ugh I don't know. I'm just so god damn confused. As far as she's concerned this is nothing but sex. A fuck. Because usually when we have sex like she said I'm in a bad mood or really horney from holding out for so long. I know I shouldn't use her for sex but I can't help it.

And by god it's the best fucking rough sex I've ever had. I've never made love to her or just had a quickie. Our little sessions aren't so little. They usually last hours. Our talks are the same way. She still goes just about everywhere with me and Tabby. Sometimes she has to much homework to go. And that upsets Tabby.

"Can momma come?" Tabby ask pointing to Harper. I stand there frozen. In shock. Harper opens and closes her mouth like a fish out of water several times.

"I...I....I...." she finally stutters looking at me for help. I finally come our of my shock shaking my head.

"No just me and you today." I answer.

"But daddy." she whines.

"No. Me and you need to talk." I tell her.

"Okay." she says going to get he backpack.

"Sorry." I tell Harper.

"No I understand. Why did she..."

"I don't know but I'm about to find out." I tell her. I'm not mad or anything. Well I don't think I am. Truthfully I don't know how I feel about it. Sure Harper takes care of her like a mother should but. I don't know.

We leave getting in the car. I buckle her in going to my side. We sit in complete silence for a while until Tabby breaks it.

"Your mad." she states. I sigh heavily.

"No I'm not mad but why did you call Harper mommy?"

"Daddy I know she's your mate." she says.

"How?" I never told her.

"I heard you and momma fighting about along time ago." I nod in understanding.

"Okay still doesn't answer my question."

"Because she's the closest thing I have to a mother and I know mommy will be want me to have someone." I nod again. "And face it daddy she's your mate your going to land up with her." she finishes. "And I like her. No I love her like a mommy. I know she can't replace my mommy but she's close enough." I nod again. "And she treats me like a daughter. Like she's my real mommy." I nod again because it's true. Harper loves her, discipline her, fixes her booboos, everything a mother does Harper does it. Both of us go quite lost in our own thought.

We get to the zoo. I pay our way in and we go from exhibit to exhibit.

"Daddy." Tabby says as we sit down for lunch.

"Yeah baby." she stands up in front of me and cups my face with her little hands.

"Mommy is gone. She's never coming back. We have to move on. She would want us to move on. I know you still love mommy and I still love mommy. Nothing will ever change that. But it's time to move on. Mommy would want you too and she would want you to move on with your mate. You love Harper. Anyone can see that. I'm not stupid daddy. I see the way you look at her. You love her more than you love mommy. So forgive her for whatever she did and be with her." she says. I just stare at her while she gives her speech shocked. But I know she's right.

"No your definitely not stupid. How did you become so smart?"

"My mommy." she says with a shrug sitting back down.

"Is that why you have Harper go everywhere with us?" she nods yes.

"That and because I love her." I nod.

"So it wouldn't bother you if I married Harper?"

"No daddy." I nod again.

"You know I love you?"

"I know. I love you too."

"So I should forgive her huh?"

"Yep." she chirps. She's right. It's been what? 5, 6 years. I think I've held that grudge long enough. But it pisses me off that she's the one that said it.

"Did Harper out you up to this?"

"Nope." she says shaking her head.

"Grandma or grandpa?"

"Nope daddy it was my idea. I love you and don't want you to be alone for the rest of your life." I nod again.

"So your okay with Harper becoming your step mom."

"Nope I'm a-okay with it." after we eat we walk around some more. "Dolphins daddy." she says. I nod an okay and we walk to the dolphins.

We watch the dolphin and seal show then we go walk around some more. After a couple of hours we decide to leave. Spending the day at the zoo made us hungry so we go eat dinner at our diner. On our way home Tabby passes out.

When we get home I carry her up to her room change her clothes and tuck her into bed. I go straight to my room put in a movie not really watching it. I just think about everything. I'm so confused. I mean I do but I don't want to be with her. I do but I don't want her to be Tabby's step mom. I do but I don't want to get married to her. I do but I don't want to forgive her. Ugh! I groan and roll over. Stupid Harper. Stupid Tabby.

I was just fine not thinking about this.

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