Embers and Ashes

Chapter 16

Melona

The next few days Pomona and I spend the days together when Eris is away. Signing off on the last of the Lammas day affairs for her Ladyship, and now for the fun bits.

   Embry was growing more and more quiet. Lammas being the softer of the three Autumn holidays. It was a day of rest after the first wheat harvest and before everything else needed to be done. It was a time to make room for family and prepare for the rest of the gathering season.

    Pomona and I spent the day there, arm in arm to simply enjoy the small family traditions.

    “I just want to quickly stop and pick a pie for my family. Ma’s demanding rhubarb this year and I cannot deny her. The bakery here and Embry does it best like no other”, she looks at me for permission.

    “Of course”, I nod. “No disappointed mothers on my watch.”

   She smiles easily and pulls up the skirt of the simple dress I had loaned her for our outing. I insisted that she not have to ware her maids outfit. She looked stunning in the soft green dress, and was so pleased with how well she looked in the mirror this morning it improved her shyness tremendously.   

    I follow her into the bakery shop with a content smille of my own and nearly moaned a little when I smelt the melting butter, sugar, and all the sweet things. My eyes rounding and become far bigger then my stomach at all the lovely foods. 

    “Do you think Eris would kill me if I buy three hundred dozen of these donuts?”, I ask Pom as she glances over the pie section.

    “Maybe a little”, she laughs softly and makes her selection and I pick two delightful donut from the rows of pretty icing glazed over each.

     Both of us making the payment and enjoying the treats we’ve earned for being such good girls lately. Pom’s been working really hard in keeping everything in order and forcing me from bed to do my practice duties as future Lady of the Court.

    Even allowing me to spick and avoid Tyren until I am done being mad at him.

    “Will you be leaving soon to join your family?”, I ask trying to lick the sticky sweet on my lips.

    “As soon as the Lammas ball has ended I planned on heading out”, she nods. “Or whenever you wish it.”

    “I wish you’d leave earlier. Like a day or two. You deserve to go see them after being so far away from them for so long”, I offer.

    “You would allow that?”, she asks with hopeful eyes.

    “Of course”, I smile. “I think I can do without you for a few days on my own. And Eris will be the one to show me around the Court. Her Ladyship as well plans on keeping me company.”

    “It would be most appreciated if you would allow that”, Pom beams and holds her pie a bit tighter. “You’re too kind to me.”

    “I don’t think there is such thing as being too kind”, I hum a soft laugh. “You’re a hard worker Pomona. You deserve the best.”

    “Thank you Melona. . . I was dreading becoming a handmaid to you”, she admits. “I thought you where going to be just another selfish rich girl who would order me around. . . With you it’s like I’m back home with my sisters.”

    “Glade to hear I’m not a stuck up pain in the butt. I try really hard not to be”, I smile

    “Maybe a little less grumbling in the morning then”, she offers playfully and I stick my tongue out at her. We laughs together.

    “How is it the Darling of Dawning isn’t a morning person?”, she teases.

    “Oh just you wait until you meet my brother. Morning people are annoying”, I groan at the rich pail morning sky. “My brother, the perfect High Lord of Dawn.”

    “I’d be delighted to meet him. Perhaps he  would give me a few pointers on how to get you up in the mornings”, she smiles and I make scrunchy faces at her.

    “Never mind”, I huff. “You two are not to be left to your scheming.”

~

   The days go by like this. With the two of us girls going around the small town and grounds followed by two guards. Doing simple things and talking about nothing. It was nice to have another someone to enjoy my time with. Without the constant worry that I would be a burden.

   One of my favourite activates she introduces me to is apple bobbing. Of course it was made mostly for the children in the town square, but it looked too fun to be missed.

    So I let Pom pull back my hair as I push my face into the water to try and catch the crisp red apple with my sharp canines. Several times coming up empty, but lucky number three didn’t fail me yet. Lifting both my arms into the air in a tiny triumph with the apple in my mouth. The small crowd of towns people clapping and the children giggling enough to make my heart warm.

   But one solid line of steady clapping stood out at the others became silent. Whipping away the water from my face I find Eris to be standing a few feet away.

    His eyes heavy with the lack of sleep and no doughtily from the amount of stress he’s under. A part of me grows worried at seeing him so completely drained and miserable. The crowd around us looking as if they weren’t sure if they should be leaving or not.

     So I let out a soft trill and rush over to hug him. I’ve never had anyone but Thesan hug me back so quickly. He hugs me so close that when he straightened little my feet leave the ground and I’m just in his arms.

   “Missed you”, I murmur and place a kiss to his cheek.

   His face nuzzling into my shoulder. Taking in deep breaths to gobble down my sent as if it would fill him like food. “I missed you too. More then I care to mention.”

   Setting me down he pulls away to look me over. “You’re happy.”

   “Yeah, me and Pom have been going out and exploring the town and the territory. Going on little adventures. Just having fun”, I beam as Pomona gives a shy wave to Eris from across the crowd that has gone back to their game. “Apple?”

    Looking down at the apple laying in my hand he hesitates before taking it but takes his time in eating it. Content that he was getting so much needed food in his body, I didn’t have much to say other then, “Oh, did you make it to the manor yet?”

   He nods. “I wasn’t expecting your sent to be so heavy in my room”, he points out.

    I fidget a bit. “Yeah,(Pom and) I might have found your chocolate stash and broke my bed by jumping on it too much.”

   He pauses and looks at me before snorting, “What?”

   I pout and grumble a bit. “I like sweets too much.”

    He just chuckles dryly and shakes his head.

    “Can I stay with you tonight?”, I ask hopefully. He nods slowly.

~

   Dinner was quiet because whenever I tried to share something Eris seemed to be else where. Somewhere down under the dark crashing waves of his mind. After several tries to draw him out I found out he was determined to remain down there. So I let him.

   But laying beside him in bed with him still so far away even though he lay right beside me just wasn’t a good feeling at all. I didn’t like it.

   Quietly I turn onto my side and face him. My hand sliding under the sheets. Stroking over his muscular arms, over his shoulders, and to the plains of his bare chest. His eyes falling shut with a shuttered breath. His breath settling.

    At least until I let my lips graze over his arm.

   He snapped up and full out snarled at me. Angry and feral. Startling me enough to shrink away.

    “Stop that”, he growls.

    “I – I’m sorry”, I look down. “I wasn’t trying to – I just wanted to help.”

    “Well you aren’t”, he snaps. “You’re just making everything worse.”

    His words pinned me there in the bed and I bit my lips to try and stop the sting in my heart.

   Turning away he sits up fully and drags his hands in his hair. He hisses and grumbles at himself before turning back to me. I avoid his eyes.

    “If you don’t want me here I can go somewhere else”, I offer shakily.

    “No. . . I - ”, he doesn’t finish his sentence before burying his  face in his hands and starts to shake. “I betrayed you. I’m sorry.”

   “What?”

   “I was. . . unfaithful”,  he yells as if it hurt. “I couldn’t stop myself. I was so angry. Nothing was working, my father just cut off my last nerve. I needed something, and like always I just went back to her.”

    “Eris”, I hum softly as I sit up and come to his side. “We aren’t even married yet. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

    “I promised you that you wouldn’t have to suffer like my mother did”, he shakes his head. “I promised, I’ve never broken a promise. Even to my worst enemy.”

    I wasn’t sure what to say so I said the only thing I could think of.

    “You’re forgiven”, I murmur gently and kiss his ear.

    Everything stopped inside of him. His mind going blank before turning to me.

    “What?”, he asks in astonishment.

    “You’re forgiven”, I repeat with a sad smile. “Eris, I don’t expect you to be perfect. To not have weaknesses. You’re a person like everyone else and no matter what your father has taught you all your life, you are allowed to make mistakes. That’s how we grow.

    Now I’m not saying that knowing this doesn't hurts me, because it does, but I came here knowing what kind of male you might be, and that I might not ever be the right person for you. You’ve spent your whole life without getting the right kind of love that you needed, so you looked for substitutes where ever you could. That isn’t something you loose overnight. It might take years if that’s something you want to give up if you don’t have anything healthy to fill the whole with.

   And I don’t want you to change because you think that I want you too. Nothing good ever come out of wanting to change for others. If you’re going to change, I want you to change for yourself. Be better for yourself Eris and I promise that I’ll except whatever you decide you need to be.”

   “. . . How? How can you possibly be this way?”, he asks.

    “Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I haven’t lived a life of loving people and being hurt by them”, I sigh but crack a smile. “Do you love her? This female?”

    He turns to look at the wall across the room. “I don’t know anymore. I thought I used to. We grew up in court together. Both shared ambitions that couldn’t be matched anywhere else, but. . . it just hasn’t felt the same after the war. I think it broke something in her. She lost far too much and I think in some part of her she blames me for it. And now with you here she’s just falling apart even more, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought a night together would make things better, but I just felt empty and lost again. It scares me. There are very little places I feel home in, and I keep loosing them.”

   “I’m sorry.”

   “It’s not your fault, and I shouldn’t have treated you like it was”, he sighs.

    “. . . Do you feel better now that we’ve talked it over?”

    “A little, but I’m still pissed with myself”, he growls. “I just. . . I don’t know anymore.”

    “Well, how about we sleep on it. We have all the time in the world to work things out. Now let’s get some sleep”, I squeeze his arm softly before laying back down. He again hesitates but lays back.

    Sleep took it’s time in taking me but just before I fell asleep that night I felt Eris body curl around my own. His nose nuzzling into my hair as his hand is placed on my waist.

    “Mother above. I don’t know if you’re listening, or what I’ve done to be given this female, but I’m begging you, protect her. Protect her from my family, and from me.”, he whispers into my ear. “Because if you don’t, I pledge here and now, I will burn the world to ashes for her.”

    Eris prayed for me.