▪I'll never get over it▪(Suicidal! Deku) Completed

Chapter 17

=Deku's POV=

I woke up, not by my alarm clock, or sunrays as usual. Actually, quite the opposite, the room was pitch black with some dark purple lanterns as light. This place is so gloomy it sent shivers down my spine!

But it does look familiar somehow, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then I remembered, this was Tokoyami's room. I only knew because of that weird dorm room contest. I used to be so happy..

Suddenly a door opened and there appeared Tokoyami, coming out of the bathroom fully dressed. "I see you've woken up already" "Mhm. Not in a rude manner or anything, but... what am I doing here?"

"Well, after your little 'breakdown' Mr. Aizawa took you to Recovery Girl's. When Mr. Aizawa came back you were sleeping. I guess Recovery Girl's treatment made you sleepy" he paused to catch his breath.

"He said he needed someone to take care of you during the night, since he had to uh... clean the blood.. and your blades- and uh... yeah" it was clear he felt uncomfortable talking about my cutting.

"So I volunteered to take care of you" "Thanks Tokoyami. Sorry for being such a nuisance" Tokoyami's eyes widened.

"Oh nononono its alright-" "No its not alright. You slept uncomfortably last night because of me" "I wouldnt've volunteered if I was going to sleep uncomfortable. Its really no problem" "If you say so" I said a final thanks and walked out his room.

As I walked towards my room my stomach grumbled. I didn't notice I was basically starving, I twisted my heel and spun around, towards the kitchen. I went downstairs with the stairs.

I didn't wanna see anyone in the elevator, no one used the stairs because they were too lazy, there was a higher chance of bumping into someone in the elevator instead of the stairs.

Once I made it down I entered the kitchen, the kitchen is roght next to the common room/living room. People hung out there most of the time. I tried to make myself un noticed. But I failed.

"DEKU! I'm so glad you're up!" Uraraka squealed while hugging me. I just stood there staring lifelessly at thin air. Whenever I did this my eyes went duller than usual, like they held no emotion in them.

"Are you feeling better Midoriya-san?" Momo asked with concern laced on her voice. "I'm never feeling bEtTer" I said while mocking her.

"Well that's not fucking nice, nerd" I looked up and locked eyes with Kacchan. He was glaring at me, while I was just calmly looking back. Then I noticed that there was a scab on his forehead.

How did he get that? "Um, Kacchan. How did you get that scratch?" I said curiously pointing at his forehead. "Tch, you don't remember?! You fucking blew the whole place down yesterday! Most of the class got some injures" he said boringly the last sentence.

I- hurt my classmates? I'm such a monster. I stared blankly at him, while a fat tear fell down my cheek. And then another one, and another one, they just kept coming. "H-hey! No need to cry! They were just some scratches! See? Everyone's fine!" Kacchan said calmly.

"God I'm such a monster!" I repeadtly wiped my tears with the back of my hand. "I-i gotta go. Excuse me" I quickly got out the kitchen and went up the stairs. I ran to my room and locked the door.

The place was squeaky clean, Mr. Aizawa would make some good housewife material. Too bad I was about to dirty it again. I frantically searched for anything that could cut my skin. But it was all gone.

Mr. Aizawa fucking 'baby-proofing' the place. I rolled my eyes in frustration as more tears fell down my cheeks. I looked at the last place where something like a blade could be. I grabbed a random pencil sharpener and took the small blade out.